Sufferer Scared Newby - Childhood Trauma, Abuse, & Trying To Quit Porn As A Coping Mechanism

[littleoc]

Very glad you’re here :hug: You’re not alone, and you can (and deserve to) heal and live a great life. :hug:

 

[Sinner]

Can you go to the VA emergency room? My guy did that a few years back when he was suicidal and they got him in the next day with a pdoc.

So sorry you're struggling but I'm really glad you're reaching out for help!!

Welcome to the forums. XO

I'm barely hanging in financially. We will lose everything we've got if I don't work. I am suffering from many health issues and the Doctor said disability may be the answer. I am emotionally crippled. Usually this time in the morning I go into MickyDs and eat, study for a career shift. Digital Marketing. 6:05 a.m. I'm sitting in the parking lot too rattled to go in, sick from the flu and I have to work standing up all day as a barber. I'm terrified and withdrawn. I don't want to talk to anybody in person. But I don't want to be homeless and I sure don't want my wife to be homeless. Can't stop crying.

 

[Survivor3]

I'm sorry you've had such a tough time. Welcome to this place. You will find lots of support and advice here. I hope your problems start to get better, it's not easy when you have the flu aswell, it takes away your energy. All the best to you.

 

[Emotional girl]

Welcome to the forum.There are lots of us on here that feel exactly the same way as you do and use different things to punish ourselves.
You are not alone and we are here to support you.

 

[LuckiLee]

I wanted to get back to you sooner but, life. ?

My guy is in the Compensated Work Therapy (CWT) program at the VA (again). Started Monday. A supervisor position. He's loving it!.

Seven years ago. He was you. Except he was homeless, had no job, estranged family and friends and suicidal. (Sheesh. What did I see in him? He's the love of my life and my high school sweetheart ❤) WE went to the VA emergency room after an (almost) attempt. They put him in a ptsd program right away. Doctors, meds, group therapy. Once he was stable they put him to work while he was in treatment. Literally saved his life!

He continued therapy but stopped working there and was a plant manager for almost 5 years. The stress was too much. He's military. He has a few issues with civvies in a work environment. ? He left there in September.

Now. He's back in an intense therapy program. New meds. Working with his brothers and sisters again. (Yay!!) In charge of one of their departments. Sees his T two times a week and his pdoc once a week. And a new group of OP's guys to relate to. All while getting paid.

He also applied for SSI, SSDI and his military pension. It's in the works and will probably come through by the end of the year. ? And from what we understand he will be able to continue to work. We'll see.

He's doing great! We're doing great! Life is good right now. He's sleeping, eating and exercising. Anxiety and panic attacks are almost nil. Nightmares well they haven't gone anywhere but he's chill about it. (Mornings used to suck around here!)

What I'm saying is DON'T give up. Go to the ER. Tell them how bad it is and you need help. Be honest. It will be the hardest thing you've ever done but you can do it! Would your wife or someone you really trust take you to advocate for you? If not, ask for a patient advocate there. You don't have to be alone.

Sorry for the ramble but I can relate to you and your situation and I just want you to know there IS help out there and people care.

XO

 

[Sinner]

I'm sorry you've had such a tough time. Welcome to this place. You will find lots of support and advice here. I hope your problems start to get better, it's not easy when you have the flu aswell, it takes away your energy. All the best to you.

Thank you. Super nice community.

I wanted to get back to you sooner but, life. ?

My guy is in the Compensated Work Therapy (CWT) program at the VA (again). Started Monday. A supervisor position. He's loving it!.

Seven years ago. He was you. Except he was homeless, had no job, estranged family and friends and suicidal. (Sheesh. What did I see in him? He's the love of my life and my high school sweetheart ❤) WE went to the VA emergency room after an (almost) attempt. They put him in a ptsd program right away. Doctors, meds, group therapy. Once he was stable they put him to work while he was in treatment. Literally saved his life!

He continued therapy but stopped working there and was a plant manager for almost 5 years. The stress was too much. He's military. He has a few issues with civvies in a work environment. ? He left there in September.

Now. He's back in an intense therapy program. New meds. Working with his brothers and sisters again. (Yay!!) In charge of one of their departments. Sees his T two times a week and his pdoc once a week. And a new group of OP's guys to relate to. All while getting paid.

He also applied for SSI, SSDI and his military pension. It's in the works and will probably come through by the end of the year. ? And from what we understand he will be able to continue to work. We'll see.

He's doing great! We're doing great! Life is good right now. He's sleeping, eating and exercising. Anxiety and panic attacks are almost nil. Nightmares well they haven't gone anywhere but he's chill about it. (Mornings used to suck around here!)

What I'm saying is DON'T give up. Go to the ER. Tell them how bad it is and you need help. Be honest. It will be the hardest thing you've ever done but you can do it! Would your wife or someone you really trust take you to advocate for you? If not, ask for a patient advocate there. You don't have to be alone.

Sorry for the ramble but I can relate to you and your situation and I just want you to know there IS help out there and people care.

XO

Thank you. You are kind. Great idea.

Very glad you’re here :hug: You’re not alone, and you can (and deserve to) heal and live a great life. :hug:

Needed to hear that. Thank you.

 

[Sinner]

Everybody, please be patient with me. Learning how to navigate this forum. Very nervous and shaky. All thumbs. I'll get there eventually. Thank you for being there. Very sick, flu and several surgeries coming up. Trying to work, closedown business and just survive. I'm out of energy. Exhausted. Very flighty mind. Racing. Just want to give up. So discusted with me. Wish I could just slow down and heal. Have to earn money to pay bills. I feel safe here. Very appreciated. Goodnight.

 

[littleoc]

Hey, no worries. People here do what they can when they can.

The flu is awful. Get plenty of rest and drink plenty of sprite, tea, water, and Gatorade/Poweraid :)

 

[Sinner]

I have been afraid to reach out because some hurts in life are too horrible to discuss. The darkest of issues are seldom discussed because confidentiality only goes so far. Nowhere to go, nobody to talk to.
I am having medical issues and have had surgeries that have increased the flashbacks. Where does someone turn for truly anonymous help? The only way out seems to be something that would hurt my family for a lifetime. I just hurt so bad myself. When your at your worst emotionally, hospitals and the authorities treat you like a criminal.

 

[Kubash16]

Why would it hurt your family? This place is anonymous and a great extra support but it doesn’t replace therapy. Have you been in a psych ward? Other parts of the hospital don’t necessarily know how to handle mental health issues, but in the psych ward you can actually get a lot of help and support.

 

[Sinner]

Why would it hurt your family? This place is anonymous and a great extra support but it doesn’t replace therapy. Have you been in a psych ward? Other parts of the hospital don’t necessarily know how to handle mental health issues, but in the psych ward you can actually get a lot of help and support.

Think I may have slept an hour or two last night. On my way to work. Wish I could just sleep. Can't go on much longer like this.

 

[Kubash16]

Have you thought about applying for disability?