Scared Of Getting Grounded

[Emily1234]

Hi all,

I'm having a really hard time trying to get grounded while in therapy sessions.

I really trust my T and appreciate him, and he is very experienced with ptsd, but when everything gets unreal, he scares the hell out of me. I don't know why. and I feel like he is talking with me about someone else I don't know and it gets really confusing. I wanted to leave the therapy session in the middle. I didn't know who he is and I was so so scared.

He tried to help me get grounded by suggesting to get a sense of the floor with my feet, try to listen to the noise from the outside, try to touch the couch, try to see details in the room. he tried so hard. but I have no courage to do that.

the touching part because I feel so valnurable with touch (suffered many years of abuse), and just moving feels scary. not to mention touching and feeling something while someone else is looking.
the sounds didn't help, even a nice piece of music I enjoy.

And I'm so scared of getting grounded, I never succeeded in it, basically terrified to even just try.

Any advice on how to try and get grounded next to the therapist without feeling so exposed while having no idea who he is?

Many many(!) thanks

 

[The Albatross]

I would suggest you explore other ways and discuss about being terrified of being grounded. There really isn't all that much progress to be made til you can achieve it.

I'm confused by this, "... get grounded next to the therapist without feeling so exposed while having no idea who he is?" and think I would explore it a lot more. Being grounded does not occur while "you have no idea" who your shrink is. Can you explain more about this?

What's the issue with having your feet on the floor with anybody? That's one of the easiest ways to ground. Practice it yourself on your own and with repetition you may do this "while someone is watching"... I love being barefoot on the ground or sand... that's "bare footing" (earthing) and it's very grounding start solitary but do it.

A bit new agey (and spiritual) but some very good grounding techniques, here ya go How To Ground Yourself (All About Grounding) - Teal Swan

 

[Justmehere]

Have you been able to identify what is triggering the surreal feelings?

Feeling like things re unreal is called derealization. It's a form of dissociation. It's a defense mechanism. Something is happening that is triggering feelings of being in danger and that's what is bringing on the derealization as a way to cope with the feelings of being in danger. It makes sense to be sacred to come out of it once it starts.

I'd suggest trying to preemptively ground prior to the session and slow things down and ground during the the session before things start to feel unreal.

Explore what helps you feel safer in session. When I had a male therapist, I had a lot of impulses to leave the sessions. So we spent a session where I purposefully walked out of the session several times (and walked back in.) being able to experience safety when not triggered might help.

The more you can find safety and ways to ground when it is easy, and practice grounding when it's not critically needed, the easier it will be when it's hard to do and the safer it will feel.

 

[Emily1234]

I would suggest you explore other ways and discuss about being terrified of being grounded. There...

Sometimes, when I go to therapy, even though I've been seeing my therapist for about 6 months, when I look it him, I have memories of previous sessions, but they don't connect to him, with the person I'm looking at. emotionally it's as if he is a complete stranger I'm seeing for the first time, closed up in a room with him. And so, I feel really scared. sometimes it goes away after a few minutes into the session, but at other times, like the session yesterday, I come in and out and feel like I set in a room with a complete stranger.

I'll try the bear footing alone, didn't even think of it. I was reffering to trying to push my feet to the floor (with my shoes on).

And I get embarrassed by doing anything physical next to my therapist. breathing exercises or anything else.

Many thanks for the link and your response. I'll look at the link now.

 

[The Albatross]

Hope it's helpful. Practicing alone may get you some headway.

 

[user17231]

I struggled a bit with being honest with my therapist about my comfort level with her early on in my therapy. For example, I often convince myself people are trying to manipulate me, but when confronted by this I would say I didn't feel that way about my therapist. This wasn't true at the time.

I made significant progress when I started being brutally honest with her. Now, I say things like, "Part of me thinks you are full of crap.", or "Part of me believes you are only saying that because I pay you.", or "I'm struggling with strong desires to tell you that you're full of crap and storm out of this room."

I think all therapists are trained to compartmentalize what you're feeling and what's reality very well, and are comfortable with hearing this sort of feedback. It can definitely help them understand where you're at -- and if you're not sharing where you're at in a way that feels comfortable to you, then you're not getting the best treatment possible.

All that being said, I don't mean to make this sound easy. It took me over a year to get to this point with my therapist, and I won't lie and say it's easy now, nearly five years in. But it does get easier when you get over this hurdle.

I hope you find this helpful. Best of luck to you.