Scared of my new home.

[FauxLiz]

this probably sounds crazy but my anxiety panic fear and hyper vigilance are in over drive in my new home. I have changed both front and back door locks and deadbolts so I know that no one else has the keys, I have unpacked my comfort items I have my cat and yet I am struggling to feel safe. It isn’t the area I truly believe it is because I haven’t lived alone in 25 years. I don’t know what to do any suggestions would be appreciated.

 

[Ronin]

Is there something that makes you feel safe or works as a comfort item in the apartments themselves? (The lightning, types of sounds or noise or none, scents, arrangement of the furniture, the folding of the sheets, their presence or inpresence, organization of decorations, colors of items in rooms matching or not and how, the temperature of the rooms and difference between one to another, flowers and plants if you have them or around...)

Anything coming to mind that might either make you safer, or be setting you off?
Congrats to your new place. :)

 

[scout86]

It isn’t the area I truly believe it is because I haven’t lived alone in 25 years.

That totally makes sense, you're probably right. I imagine getting used to being alone is going to be a process. Anyone you can connect with for a bit of a distraction and maybe to make you feel less alone? Phone?Text? Us?

 

[FauxLiz]

@Ronin I think that part of it is that I am waiting on new flooring in the area that will be my master bedroom, kitchen and dining area. I am also waiting for kitchen appliances to be delivered and as a result I can't really set up my kitchen either.

@scout86 I start work in a week and I know that will help as it will be a major distraction learning a new organization, new employees and trying to get as much information out of the manager that I am replacing in the first two weeks I am on the job before he goes into full retirement. I am trying not to rely to heavily on the T that I am leaving as at best we can have maybe 3-4 more very spread out sessions before full termination and that is if he willing to meet with me on a couple of Saturdays as he has done in the past. We have talked about some sort of phone or skype sessions if they can be in his words hippa compliant but I am not holding my breath on that. Additionally, with the new job my insurance will be changing and he is not an in network provider with the new insurance company.

 

[Suzetig]

You’ve undergone a huge change, one of the most stressful things a person can do is move house, and changing jobs is up there too so I’m not surprised you’re feeling the emotional brunt now that you’re in your new place. Can you see the lack of feeling safe as just being part of the process rather than getting to a place where you really think you’re unsafe and start panicking?

It’s also worth reminding yourself that you’ve only just moved in, the house isn’t the way you want it yet so you’re going to feel unsettled. Could you get one room exactly as you would like it to be - even if that’s the bathroom for now. Just so you can start to see how the house will look and feel once you’ve got settled in? I also find having the radio on quietly helps deaden the “new house” noises after I’ve moved so I’m not so spooked every time I hear the heating turning on, the house breathing etc.

Congratulations on making your move - such a massive achievement.

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

I think it takes time.

Time to get used to the sounds of your new place, time to get used to being alone.

I moved a few years ago and lived alone for the first time. Lots of panic, initially. But, also relief. Living alone can be really beautiful and helpful, because there isn't any judgement whatsoever about anything you do.

What helped was white noise - I sleep with a sound machine like the ones they have in therapy offices. It really helps to dampen any noise that makes me unnecessarily worried at night.

It also just really does take time, so please be patient.

 

[Fancy Dancy]

I've struggled with living alone and getting wound up with paranoia and panic and fear. I've been lucky to have a couple good friends that are willing to spend many hours on the phone with me through the day- or better yet, if you have a good gamer friend who spends most their time on the comp, open a Skype call and have someone online, in an active call- I had a friend who would leave Skype on overnight! We'd fall asleep and wake up discordantly, not talk for many hours at time, we'd be in and out- but when he was around and about I could hear bustling and noise and voice like someone was in the house with me (someone I knew of course). It helped SO MUCH. He had anxiety and depression too, I think it helped both of us a lot trying to live alone.

 

[blackemerald1]

@FauxLiz - just checking in to see how the new house is taking shape.

Are you settling in okay. It takes time. I am coming up to my first anniversary where I live now and I have had a lot nervous moments. But it is working out ok...slowly.

Idk what you are like with change... but I am not good with it especially moving house and then beginning the settling in process.

I hope you are okay...:hug:

 

[FauxLiz]

@blackemerald1 i am still struggling I finally cooked in the kitchen meaning not microwave meal or frozen pizza not sure what the deal is there I am a cook I was hoping to still get some canning in this summer/fall but not at this rate. But still taking it a day at a time