Scared Of New Diagnosis

[Pohil]

I'm conflicted with posting anonymously, but I'm still not sure how comfortable I am yet with my new dignosis.

I've been a supporter of a vet with PTSD for awhile, while working on my own issues as well. Within the past 6months I've gone through some major life changes including leaving an emotionally abusive man, new job, and everything that goes along with those things.

About 4 months ago I started having massive panic attacks at night, especially if I would hear certain sounds. I would be absolutely convinced my ex was trying to break in to hurt me and our son. Day time wasn't much better. The lack of sleep probably didn't help with the constant feeling on edge. Small things now set me off into either being completely pissed off at everything around me or just going into autopilot and barely remembering anything that happened through the day.

I've had what seems to be a billion diagnoses handed to me over the past several years, including a possible PTSD diagnosis but that was ruled out as I at that time wasn't experiencing a couple of the major symptoms. I've also had cyclothemic, general anxiety, ocd, dysthemic, adhd, along with a few others even though I never felt any one really fit what i was feeling/experiencing.

My new T ( been seeing for the past 3 months) feels that the most recent set of traumas (the treatment by my ex and subsequent necessity of a restraining order) has turned my compilation of problems into PTSD. Knowing how it affects my partner, and learning about it for him, I'm feeling in shock right now and scared too.

I really need some advise please.

 

[Cufef]

I can imagine you feel shocked. But remember, you're still the same person as you were before the diagnosis. Same history, same reactions, same thoughts. Nothing has changed except the label.

In fact, finally getting the right diagnosis is a good thing. It means you can finally get the right help.

The longer we stay in denial or simply not knowing what's going on with us, the worse things can become. So it's better to know. There's a lot you can do. The sooner you start the better, and it sounds like this is sooner rather than later at least.

Is your T a trauma T? Do you feel comfortable with them?

 

[Pohil]

No not a trauma t...not a lot around here locally. I am comfortable with them though. I know you're right about finally getting the "right label" maybe i'll feel that as well after the shock subsides too :/

He did mention he would look into helping me find a trauma t that's not too far away if i felt comfortable with that. Right now I'm just feeling dazed and confused :s

 

[Levoh]

Oh lord, me too me too me too. I've got the shakes just from reading about you - everything you mentioned is a 'me too.' I learned about my PTSD only a couple of months ago. Same basic thing: abuse for years, relationship ended. Now scared all the time, any little noise... with me, there's ONE particular noise that instantly triggers such a bad panic attack that I freeze to stone. My sound is a certain door being closed. I live alone, for one thing. If that door closes - it means I'm not alone: she's broken in, again. Do you have one noise that scares you beyond all others?

 

[Pohil]

Door slamming or similar sound. Always meant the dbag was home from the bar and I would be waiting what seemed forever to see if it was a pass out on the living room floor night or a me find a knife just in case fight. Alone with my kid, it happens when he gets up to use the restroom in the middle of the night.

 

[Ujago]

Really sorry to hear this. What is very important to remember is that you are not going to turn into him. You are you and will remain you. PTSD is not a persona and is rather a condition that individuals can develop. That means we will still all be ourselves but just with a condition that is treatable.

I hope you manage to access appropriate help and I am glad to hear the ex is gone.