I'm having trouble sleeping and may have to take a full dose of meds. What I took I don't feel working, and I'm not entirely sure why.
I do know that my H. said that his gun safe looked only half bolted, as though closed in a hurry, with the top bolt not all the way in. And he said one of his hunting riffles that his dad bought him in the 80s? was not there.
My mind starts to panic that someone has come in to the house and found the key and taken it. I have a big imagination, and I fear the worst. But I reminded him that he said they didn't all fit into the small safe, so we may just have forgotten that he never got that one back from my parent's safes. They had been storing that for him, and though he thought he got it back, maybe he never did afer all. He never hunts, so he doesn't ever think of them, or seldom does. The only reason he still has the gun is that it was a gift from his Dad. He has no use for it.
I'm shook up at the mere idea that someone could have walked into my house and stolen a weapon. I can't sleep and I really need to because I have work tomorrow.
On top of this minor worry, that we think is not really a real concern but rather a memory lapse, I'm all worked up emotionally as my sister had a baby and I won't be seeing it. She and the rest of the family blacklisted me as soon as I outed the abuser in the home growing up. My covictims are still in at least partial amnesia and very "stockholm." She got so far as to say she knows it occured, but she still thinks she cannot see the abuser's face. I am just so sad. This is one of those situations in which the triggers are all there, fresh and 30 years old, and yet, the currently unfolding nightmare is very real, too. And it's not a memory. It's a real threat still happening to the next generation of kids. And there seems to not be a damn thing I can do to help.
None so blind as those who will not see. I love them, and I am so frustrated. So topping that problem off with the vicarious scare of the possibly missing gun, and I just won't settle. It's usually better in the morning. So I will try to get some rest.
I do know that my H. said that his gun safe looked only half bolted, as though closed in a hurry, with the top bolt not all the way in. And he said one of his hunting riffles that his dad bought him in the 80s? was not there.
My mind starts to panic that someone has come in to the house and found the key and taken it. I have a big imagination, and I fear the worst. But I reminded him that he said they didn't all fit into the small safe, so we may just have forgotten that he never got that one back from my parent's safes. They had been storing that for him, and though he thought he got it back, maybe he never did afer all. He never hunts, so he doesn't ever think of them, or seldom does. The only reason he still has the gun is that it was a gift from his Dad. He has no use for it.
I'm shook up at the mere idea that someone could have walked into my house and stolen a weapon. I can't sleep and I really need to because I have work tomorrow.
On top of this minor worry, that we think is not really a real concern but rather a memory lapse, I'm all worked up emotionally as my sister had a baby and I won't be seeing it. She and the rest of the family blacklisted me as soon as I outed the abuser in the home growing up. My covictims are still in at least partial amnesia and very "stockholm." She got so far as to say she knows it occured, but she still thinks she cannot see the abuser's face. I am just so sad. This is one of those situations in which the triggers are all there, fresh and 30 years old, and yet, the currently unfolding nightmare is very real, too. And it's not a memory. It's a real threat still happening to the next generation of kids. And there seems to not be a damn thing I can do to help.
None so blind as those who will not see. I love them, and I am so frustrated. So topping that problem off with the vicarious scare of the possibly missing gun, and I just won't settle. It's usually better in the morning. So I will try to get some rest.
