Hello. I'm the elusive boyfriend you've all heard about. I'm here to weigh in/provide perspective on the this topic.
The flaccid freeze is where people could move your droopy body parts, so I'm a little confused....are you tense but your boyfriend could move your arm? Do you feel numb or highly activated?
The best way I can describe this when she is in this state, is like one of those retro Gumby dolls with the wire skeleton. She is not stiff and unable to be moved like in rigor mortis and she is not flaccid and jelly like. Rather I could move her fingers, limbs, body, into any position and they will stay that way until moved again or until she comes out of it. She had an episode once spontaneously while playing a video game. When I noticed what was happening, I went to her. Her hands were on the mouse and keyboard like she was still playing, and her face was twisted and distorted like a person in intense pain, or who is immensely upset and sobbing but she made no sound at all. I removed her hands from the keyboard and mouse to make her more comfortable and her hands were still in mouse and keyboard position. Her right hand had the middle, ring, pinky, and thumb curled around an invisible object with her index finger extended and her left hand just looked like a claw. When I straightened her fingers out and put her arms in her lap they stayed that way.
These episodes come on super quickly without any sort of noticeable warning at times. I have had moments with her where I said something and she laughed, and she went immediately into this state mid-laughter. One second she was happy and the next appearing to be in intense pain. She's gone into this state while we were kissing with my lips still on her. She's also had this happen while eating with her mouth full of food. It's scary sometimes to think about her choking or in the middle of cooking and having this suddenly happen for several hours while the food disintegrates in the pan and possibly starts a fire. If there were a fire and she were in this state, there would be no way she could save herself. She is completely immobile when this happens. The only movement or sound she makes at all is her breathing, which gets sort of gaspy a lot of the time.
I also know she is completely conscious when all of this happens. She has repeated to me things I have said to her during episodes, so she can definitely hear me and has commented after the fact about feeling me hugging her or holding her.
As for whether or not they are triggered by trauma, its hard to say. I know this state occurs more often at night as we are settling down to sleep, and being that the worst of her traumas where in a similar setting that could be a trigger. Stress also seems to be a factor, as if I'm stressed and she knows it, she is more likely to have issues even if the stress is never directed at her. One of her worst episodes occurred while I was trying to drive a u-haul truck with bald tires during a blizzard. As you can imagine it was a highly stressful situation for me and likewise for her.
As for her Psychiatrist, I personally can't stand her. She wants to focus solely on WHY Amy's traumas took place and do nothing to help her deal with what is currently happening, like manage her trauma, control her flashbacks (if they can be controlled), etc. At this point, the why is irrelevant. The trauma occurred and cannot be undone. All that we can do for Amy now is help her manage the effects the trauma has on her, but this doctor has no interest in that. It's very frustrating. Additionally I feel this doctor was too quick to medicate (possibly over medicate) before really getting a grasp of the whole situation but that's really neither here nor there, I guess.
Anyway, I hope this clears up some things. I would be happy to add more for the sake of clarity if necessary.
