Self-Medicating With Alcohol

[Dylan]

I saw a post regarding self-medicating with alcohol on the Carers board and they mentioned the conspicuous absence of discussion on this issue - which is strange (the absence of conversation on the topic, not that they noticed) considering alcohol abuse is very prevalent with PTSD sufferers.

Since I took my current job (and several other stresses hit at the same time, as well), my alcohol consumption has steadily increased to where I'm drinking probably 2-3 times a week and I would say that 3/4 of the time, I over-drink.

Yesterday, I went to play tennis with a friend and we went to a restaurant afterward. We each had a couple of drinks (beers for her; wine for me) and then we went back to her house and proceeded to get fairly inebriated. I am too old for this crap and don't want to live like I'm 20. I don't like spending my life recovering from over-indulgence (now days, it takes me 2 days to recover physically, 3-4 days to recover mentally/emotionally and spiritually it's at least a week). So, if I'm drinking 2-3 times a week, my recovery time is actually wrapping....and wrapping around my life. Unacceptable.

So, I'd like to open a discussion on this topic. My hope is to have a frank discussion about our current alcohol consumption, if your drinking causes you or others concern and, if so, what are your plans to reduce/stop drinking and increase your coping skills/reduce your stress.

I am definitely self-medicating with the increased symptoms/stress, so my goal is to get my situational/external stress DOWN (already happening), get more support via counseling (already started), a spiritual group (planning to attend this weekend), and maaaaybe a 12-step group. I don't like the idea of the last item because I disagree with a couple of AA's basic tenets, but if all of the above don't prove successful, then I'll just have to go and agree to disagree - privately.

I asked my doc if she'd prescribe Antabuse (if an individual drinks while taking it they'll get violently ill and it could even be life threatening). If I KNOW I can't drink, it forces me to PAUSE (alcohol's action being so dang fast makes my brain ask for it VERY LOUDLY when chronic stress/hypervigilance is getting to me) and look for other alternatives. I may have to check with another doc....it worked for me very well once in my 20's.

Thanks,
Dylan

 

[SunnyBrookFarm]

Dylan -

I'm glad you are being honest with yourself, it's a very difficult thing to do.

Normally, I may have a few drinks with our friends on Friday and Saturday night. Recently, I've noticed that this has moved over to also having one or two beers on 1-2 nights during the week (when especially stressed out). This pattern lasted about 3 weeks before I started realizing that on Sunday I am quite depressed. Yep, I'm sure it's the drinking on the weekends. I am a light-weight so 4 beers and I'm toast - I caught myself last weekend getting to that point.

So, I am not drinking during the week at all. I am currently thinking that I need to seriously reduce (or stop) the drinking over the weekends as well. I have had periods of time (in the past) where I drank every day - so it is something I try to stay aware of. My current plan is to limit myself to 2 beers and see if I'm still feeling badly - if I do - I will have to cut it out completely.

It's so wonderful to escape the feelings and anxiety - but the depression afterwards is simply not worth it.

Seems to me you have all the steps in place to stop drinking - YOU just have to decide for sure.

Good post by the way.

 

[cynelena]

Dylan,

Excellent posting. I am pleased to see this topic sparked (and in a more obvious category...LOL!).

I'm sad to hear that you got carried away last night. Day by day Dylan. You have a plan and just have to follow through with it. I wish you a successful recovery and thank you for being so honest. I hope that others will be able to open up about the subject as well.

We are all here for one reason or another and like Dylan stated before, alcohol dependency is a real issue amongst PTSD sufferers. That also means that a lot of carers on this forum are affected by over consumption as well. Let's share our stories and lean on one another.

We will all get through this!

Thank you Dylan.

Cynthia

 

[Blues in NYC]

When I was drinking, I was far from being an alcoholic. One to three drinks would do it for me. And only beer or wine. I'd acquired a taste over the last 15 years for finer and finer beers. And I was on my way with several varieties of red wine.

But, when diagnosed, my doctor encouraged me strongly to stop drinking and even consider foregoing caffeine for a while too. I was in such a state, I complied desperate for relief.

Now, having done enough reading of "the literature" as well as places like here where I can browse multiple first hand accounts of PTSD and alcohol, I've decided, for now, that both alcohol and caffeine won't be a part of my diet. I miss it dearly.

The other night, I had people over for a professional gathering. I provided beer and wine amongst the spread of goodies available. I was so very tempted. I had even bought from my favorite wine shop. They always nailed the flavor narrative I'd ask for. The red was supposed to have a heavy peppery finish with a mild blackberry and blue berry front. The white was to be very light with hints of citrus and a couple different florals. I really wanted a glass. Later in the night, the professional encounter turned a bit ugly (at least for me on the inside) as I realized how out of step I currently am with my colleagues after six+ months of treatment and post diagnosis life. I was so glad I did not have a sip. I had a hard enough time holding it together without the extra problem of being even a bit tipsy.

Anyways, my contribution to the discussion on self medication with alcohol: I don't drink at all, because if I did I know that I'd self medicate. And I too get the extended mental and "spiritual" hangovers. Have all my life. Only now am I finding means to share the same space as my soul. I don't want to push that away.

This is not meant to be holier than thou. I just firmly believe that alcohol and PTSD do not mix.

 

[dust]

Hi Dylan,

I used to drink a lot and could never socialise without being off my tree - hmm, then with all the therapy it was too much for me and I stopped for a while. I have an occasional drink now, but then, my life is not that stressful on the work front. I am thinking of knocking the drinking on the head altogether, but perhaps the answer is not one or the other... either stress/work or alchohol. Perhaps the answer is everything in moderation - for example, if you keep the stress levels down is it easier to moderate the booze?

I'm thinking aloud really... I agree with SunnyBrookFarm - the depression that results from drinking is the worst thing and really puts me off getting really hammered any more.

dust

 

[Jagged Angel]

I self-medicated for years (alcohol, cocaine, marijuana, speed), but eventually managed to rid myself of all of those things and have not touched any of them for.... (thinking here.. can't quite remember).. 4 years, I think. I think the last time I drank alcohol was early 2005.

I used to drink a lot. It interfered with everything, and I really didn't care. One of my friends once said to me that the problems are still there in the morning plus a hang-over, and I replied that at least it all went away for a few hours.

These days, when I want to forget, I watch Star Trek or Harry Potter, or play video games (Star Wars Lego is all the rage in my house right now!). So, in that respect I guess I still self-medicate, just not with alcohol or illegal drugs.

However, I still drink coffee and smoke cigarettes (both legal drugs, I guess), so my addictions are not completely gone!

 

[midi]

It takes a real hard process to get a hold of addictions. 108 days in lockdown rehab (no place to run to since it was isolated and no money for a plane ticket out) brought all the addiction demons to the front of my PTSD ravaged mind. During that time, I did convince a friend to mail me things including opiates to help with the insanity of being dry. Bad idea.

Before going into lockdown, I did a semi-detox - cut back on all the drugs and booze. Swore to never get drunk again - and I haven't.

One of the challeneges to drying out and staying that way is the fact that your old friends etc... will expect you to drink. There will be pressure. People were shocked when I didn't get hammered anymore and drug buddies were shocked that I wasn't doing everything in sight.

Change your environment, diet, and exercise. Make non-drinker friends. Get a new hobby. Have one drink or none.

Experiment, and don't be hard on yourself in the struggle. Once you get a grip on booze, you'll be able to deal with other issues.

 

[Deleted member 541]

I am a non drinker. Now!!!! Wasn't always this way. I started drinking at 15, and by the time I was in my 30's i was drinking 6 nights a week, and getting drunk EVERY time I drank. I would go to work the next day, still buzzed....Not a pretty site, a healthy thing, or good for your professional attitude.....

I quit, just like I did smoking after 40 years, and coming off meds (cymbalta for 3 years). Cold turkey......Wasn't pretty, and the thoughts of committing a murder were in the forefront of my mind 24/7 for a long time. But it was me or the addiction.....

You really need the *will* to want to stop any addiction. Without the *will* to want to stop, it won't happen... JMHO!!!!!

 

[Mina]

I tend to stay away from alcohol because my main use for it is self-medicating. There is no real reason why I want to have a drink (or two, or more) other than I want to mellow out, unwind, not think, etc. Occasionally I'll have a couple drinks when we're at a squad party or something, and then it's a fun/social thing, but still to loosen me up so that I can hold a conversation! Otherwise, if I'm drinking, I'm hurting, but don't know it, or am trying to deal with it...or avoid dealing with it, as the case may be.

What Midi says about friends and changing your environment is so true. Back in my early 20s, pre-PTSD, I had a bit of a battle with drinking. I decided to move up to the mountains, away from all my wealthy, partying friends. If I stayed where I was, I would have just kept up with it (especially since they always paid) - they were my friends! I wasn't going to not hang out with them. I had to physically remove myself from the situation and therefore the temptation in order to get my life back in balance.

Great thread topic, Dylan.

 

[macpayne]

Great thread.....I too self-medicated for years. I got it under control when I married a man who doesn't drink. After I had my daughter I had a few benders, didn't come home and spent the next few days recovering while my husband took care of our daughter. I'm was terribly ashamed and almost lost my husband over it. It wasn't until I sought help that I cut my drinking to almost nil. I now drink in moderation... camping, dinner dates etc. I don't have alcohol in my fridge and I don't crave it like I used to. Its of no interest to me and I can have fun regardless of whether there is alcohol or not. What's important for those carer's who read this to know is that we self-medicate and it's usually a good sign more therapy or meds are needed.

 

[amethist]

A friend of my husbands once said to him, after glitch and I threatened to burn his motorbikes if he ever drank again.

1 is too many and 10 is not enough.

Good point when nearly 18 month ago he was drinking 24/7 just to keep going.

He has now not had a drop since February this year and now says he would rather have a cup of tea. He has thought about it but not done it.

Amethist

 

[Noone.]

Well I drink everyday I don't work, usually between 10 and 14 beers a night.
I just love beer what can I say.
Hey if nothing else this makes everyone else look less like an alcoholic LOL.
See ya.

Fire.