Serious Psychosomatic Issues

[Chi Square Latte]

Morning all,

I'll start from the beginning: about 9-11 months ago I was walking to university and suddenly I got tingling in my arms and legs. My GP told me to get to hospital because those symptoms were very worrying. A&E didn't think much of it. This too-ing and fro-ing from GP and hospital continued for a while and the symptoms persisted and some days got worse. I eventually collapsed and couldn't walk, so I was admitted to hospital. I had an MRI and neurologists looked over me, they couldn't find anything wrong. The symptoms disappeared. It was thought to be a virus.

Fast forward to last week, I was walking home, and I felt my leg start tingling again. Fantastic. I woke up the next day very stiff and fatigued. I made an appointment with my doctor and had blood taken for lots of things, the only ones I understood were for under active thyroid, anaemia, and B12 deficiency. I could barely walk to the bus stop that is 10-20 minutes from where I live. I've had other symptoms that were worrying, such as shooting pains through my spine.

At first I was convinced that I was experiencing some kind of MS attack, or CFS/ME but recently I've taken a step back and think its psychosomatic. My symptoms aren't consistent. For example, the spine thing only happened for a day. If it were MS it would be happening every time I moved my head in a certain way (yes I have conducted experiments were I move my head around to replicate the feeling through my spine).

So now I'm feeling like a bit of an idiot. I've had friends and family worry over me for no reason. I know its not really no reason, and a valid reason in its own right, it just feels like an inferior reason. The fact it's basically been a year and there has been no obvious reason as to why it pops up. Stress isn't even a great reason. Normally when I get stressed I dissociate and go through derealisation as well as feeling depressed, its a specific pattern I recognise. I had a couple of stressful events occur over the year and my physical symptoms didn't emerge but the PTSD ones did. But when the physical symptoms emerge, the only real stressor there has been is the actual symptoms themselves.

I know this is a long post, and I don't really know what I'm asking for here... has anyone had any similar experiences? Am I just being hysterical for no reason? Do I just need to relax for a week? What do I do?

 

[Riot]

@Chi Square Latte, I can't say for sure, but I can tell you that I have been experiencing some really weird sensations myself, namely in my left foot (and mostly my toes) with the last month or so of flashbacks. It's so crazy because they're exactly symptomatic of how my left foot reacted when it was infected after being saturated in mud when I was a child.

Don't underestimate stress! Your body can certainly learn physical reactions and train itself to manifest in odd forms. Also, you're absolutely not an idiot for listening to your body. If you're in pain, it's pain, that's the bottom line.

Firstly, try to relax. I know it can be super hard to do. When people here--and anywhere--tell you to stop being so hard on yourself and be good to yourself... try to take it to heart. You are a human being first most and you deserve to live a life not constantly bombarded by stress. I personally really struggle with this myself. As for what you can do to 'be good' to yourself, that really depends on you.

Some things I discovered relax me are:

* Long baths alone where I pamper myself with bubbles, facial masks, a good book, or whatever else strikes my mood at the time.
* Chewing gum when I'm anxious. I know it sounds simple, but it really helps with head pain and jaw tension and it's low cost. (I'm a tooth grinder in a really awful way.)
* Whatever-the-f*ck-I-want-time, which is just daily time I set aside for myself to do whatever I am inspired to do in that moment, guilt free and no strings attached. (Within reason. I wouldn't recommend adopting super bad habits or anything, or using it to justify negative things.)
* Writing. I've done it for as long as I can remember, and I'm certainly grateful to have it during these times. I recently picked up practicing various cursive lettering forms by hand when I'm feeling especially disassociated or contemplative.

You can also do small things for yourself all day, every day. Treat yourself, be good to yourself. And definitely keep exploring possible answers to your pain with a physician because it could be psychosomatic, or it could be something else. Stay persistent!

 

[Chi Square Latte]

@Riot Yeah, I find it really hard to take it easy. I want to be able to do the things I was able to do before, and I've always just pushed through things. I know its not always the best approach but I just feel like I'm always fighting to survive.

 

[EveHarrington]

Actually I believe that stress is a fantastic reason for your symptoms. Stress kills (a lot!) but no death certificate ever says "stress" under cause of death. It's always some other physical factor like a heart attack or stroke or cancer. I have had horrible physical symptoms in the past, a slew of tests that came up normal, only to have the symptoms resolve after sufficient time has passed since the stress dissipated. Sadly, since stress is very much a mental concept, it gets discounted in the realm of harmful things for our bodies. People much rather blame physical maladies on drinking or smoking or eating bad food. Unfortunately doctors don't really want to point to stress when something goes wrong, or even suggest that stress could be a factor. No, you're not an idiot, not in the least. Stress symptoms are very real and quite valid.

 

[Sandstone]

Have you had the results of the tests yet?

It is wholly possible to have a mixture of physical and somatic symptoms. It makes it much harder for you and your doctor to identify what is actually happening. However, deciding for yourself that it is " all in your head" and not reporting any of it does leave your GP at a disadvantage.

For example, I wrote off the sensation of cold water down one side of my face as stress related, as it mainly occurred when I was tired. It turned out that I have small bony spurs on my spine that press on nerves, but that was only identified after an MRI for another symptom.

 

[Chi Square Latte]

@stenni the first time it happened I had an MRI that came back clear and nerve conduction tests that came back clear too. I also had a lumbar puncture, but the neurologist couldn't get any fluid because the needle hit my spinal chord (words can't describe how bad it was, makes me feel awful just thinking about it), so we don't know if that would have shown anything.

I've only had blood tests done this time and they came back negative.I've been trying to book an appointment, while the doctor at my practice is lovely, the actual trying to get an appointment is incredibly difficult!

@EveHarrington I think there is some truth to this, my strategy is to be open minded about the symptoms at present and look after myself, while continue getting it investigated to rule out anything genuinely physical going on.

 

[Sandstone]

Hope you get to the bottom of it. Take care

 

[Chava]

It is wholly possible to have a mixture of physical and somatic symptoms.

I have chronic pain. There are some physiological reasons and triggers, but they don't very well explain the level of pain I have...the pain also connects easily to total meltdowns. There is most definitely a psych component for me. I'm working with a somatic/body psychotherapist for my trauma (primarily Somatic Experiencing).

Ideally without obsessing over it, keep some kind of notes of symptoms and your activity or things through the week/month...look for connections. Also, you could consider checking with another neurologist. I had radiologists and neurologists disagreeing on some of my stuff. It's actually not perfect science. But the way my body reacts to pain cues or any inner sense of threat...abnormal and somehow connected to or influenced by my trauma. The connection is still unclear though. I deal with the emotional response, but also taking care of myself physically and learning when to rest if I can, etc. Because the pain is real and things do get worse if I don't respond appropriately to my body's needs. The physiological reality is barely separate from the psych reality sometimes...makes sense on an autonomic nervous system level...

 

[Whirlwind]

Hello,

I'm sorry to hear you are experiencing all of this, its doesn't sound fun.....

under active thyroid, anaemia, and B12 deficiency

These tests are a great start. Depending upon results I have some other suggestions for testing. Please note that particularly with thyroid hormones and B12...being in the "normal range" is not necessarily normal. If you are comfortable, please post or PM results if you want a second (or many!:) opinion(s).

At first I was convinced that I was experiencing some kind of MS attack, or CFS/ME but recently I've taken a step back and think its psychosomatic.

Absolutely could be psychosomatic and I think you are very self aware to acknowledge this possibility. However, now that my situation is diagnosed, I also chalked some symptoms up for years to stress & aging in my case....only to now know I had a condition developing the whole time. I would rule out physiological causes before retiring to potential psychosomatic ones.

I know this is a long post, and I don't really know what I'm asking for here... has anyone had any similar experiences?

Yes. Thus my response. Your symptoms struck me with the sudden onset and particularly the tingling extremities, muscle stiffness, random fatigue etc. My tingling numbness literally appeared out of no where, I have zero history of anything related and it initially came and went before steadily progressing.

My tingling progressed to pain and numbness along with seemingly random new symptoms.

Flash forward through an unnecessarily lengthy and extremely costly and concerning ordeal docs were worrried and considerations and screening for MS, cancer, spinal tumors proceeded.

It was my thyroid the entire time. It was dismissed early on given an "expert" had screened me and declared it perfectly healthy. 10 physicians never reviewed that finding...#11 in an unrelated field happened to inquire what kind of thyroid meds I was taking...HUH??!!

Turns out in the endocrine field of medicine there are 2 conflicting "camps" regarding what constitutes normal thyroid function.

One thing at a time though, get your labs and go from there.

Take care and stay strong, and try not to worry....it is extremely unlikely to be any of the big "scaries"...Whirwind

 

[Chi Square Latte]

@Whirlwind thank you for taking the time to answer my post, I really appreciate your thoughtfulness and insight. I wish I could PM you the ranges from my results, but a receptionist gave me my results over the phone, they don't read out the values just whether they come back positive or negative. While my GP is okay, getting access to the people you need to speak to is really difficult. I'm considering moving practices.

 

[Whirlwind]

Still here...get your tests with ranges! Here in the US it is a legal right. I'm not sure how old you are but likely younger than me. With doctors, you have to stand your ground yet manage their ego's. Tell them you are in or interested in the medical field, speak to the receptionist and have them read the result and ranges to you. Or go down and have them make a copy for you.

Good luck, I'm generally around these days if you need help. Whirlwind