Sex As A Coping Tool?

[Cobes]

i used to be obsessed with sex, it was all i thought about. Even doing it felt awful and wrong, but i still did it - i think because i wanted it to feel "right". It never did though. Now i dont, i get no enjoyment and it just feels threatening and wrong, so i avoid at all costs

 

[Ozipir]

To the "women can" blah blah blah "but *I* can't" poster(s)

May I introduce you to the list of 10 Primary Cognitive Distortions?
10 Primary Cognitive Distortions (negative Thinking Styles)

Take special note of 1 & 2 : All or Nothing & Overgeneralization.

Also 4 : Disqualifying the positive, especially in regards to no matter how many people present alternate solutions, and even the possibility that you've conflated 2 separate issues & aren't talking about sex as a coping mechanism at all, you've remained fixated that those solutions, reasons, & experiences don't count.

Lastly I would ask you to think about how hijacking a thread whose focus is on sex as a coping mechanism into "I want to but don't get to!" serves any purpose other than shitting all over people? It's become clear you're not actually interested in getting what you "want" (as you've angrily dismissed or ignored -disqualifying the positive- the plethora of suggestions) but just want to complain about everything and everyone is against you, while insulting at least half the human race, as well as individual posters. Yes. Shocking. There are downsides to using sex as a coping mechanism. Just like there are downsides of using exercise as a coping mechanism.

Since you don't actually use sex as a coping mechanism, nor does it appear that you actually want to learn anything about it, perhaps leave the rest of us to actually discuss the topic?

 

[Ozipir]

Just to be clear, I'm not saying you -or anyone else- should get off this thread. I AM saying that this thread has a purpose: Sex As A Coping Mechanism. If it were exercise as a coping mechanism and someone came into it talking about how they would love to use exercise as a coping mechanism but can't because they're not wealthy, and it hijacked the thread into a discussion of socioeconomic status, and any attempt to bring the thread back to its focus on exercise was just dragged back into "I can't because I don't have money,"? More socioeconomic arguments. Rinse, lather, repeat. I'd have the exact same problem. Hello! If you want to gripe about being poor? How about start another thread? Leave this one to the people who actually want to talk about exercise?

If you would like to try sex as a coping mechanism HOWEVER want that in the confines of a committed & loving relationship, where the sex is ALSO an expression of love and act of intimacy? That's FINE. That's just one of many many many different ways that sex as a coping mechanism can be used.

Being mad at everyone else who either has that, while you don't; or who you think has that (despite many people telling you they don't); or who doesn't have your long list of prerequisites? (Or even those who do, but just see them as goals they're working towards, rather than the world being unfair to them?) Just seems like a massive waste of energy. That you could be using, instead, towards actually recognize & work towards your own goals.