Sex Dreams About Therapist

[Kubash16]

Ironically, I’m not lol. Given how much self blame I have over everything else, this one I’m not. I’m a little self blame-ish about telling him. But I’m trying to remember not saying anything is not very honest and one thing I promised myself this time was to be brutally honest about everything.

 

[ILoveLife]

That's good :)

 

[Wendell_R]

one thing I promised myself this time was to be brutally honest about everything

That's good! For you to tell him everything is courageous and worthy of praise, rather than blame. It's important to deal with transference. For me, it wasn't affecting just my therapeutic relationships--it was affecting all my close relationships with women. The transference with my therapists is different because it's easier for me to work through it and learn how to do things differently.

 

[Kubash16]

@Sietz thank you for phrasing your perspective the way you did. Reminding myself that he was “giving me a choice and not ditching” is helping some.

Still have a ton of anxiety and insecurity surrounding this but that phrasing is helping. In a weird affirmation that I’m supposed to be doing now way lol.

 

[Scarlet13]

Hi,

So sex in dreams does not necc mean sex.
So, I am guessing that rape may be a similar thing.
Maybe the content in your dream was your t raping you, but that does not actually mean rape or that you are seeing him as a rapist or abuser.
It may symbolize merging or intimacy being mixed with fear and lack of control.
I agree with the other posters in that it would be great for him to work with you to unravel this. In many ways this could be progress and looking at this dream symbolically in the context of transference could psychologically move you forward.
I can see why he does not want an abuse or rape association and perhaps he is struggling with some reverse transference over helping you if he is male and you are female.
And honestly therapists are human too.
He may be able to see that he can work thru this and that ultimately this dream does not signify that he is being aligned with abuse, but more you are projecting abuse onto him, which is different.
Projecting abuse is an act of therapy or healing, or it can be in the right context.
For you to dream this is your subconscience wanting to process this by putting the trauma experience onto a safe persona. It is like hanging your coat on a hook. The coat is your trauma and the hook is your T, he is "holding" and reflecting the trauma so you can process it.
This happened possibly because you have developed enough trust which is also why his response to having you work with a diff T may be upsetting.
My T is very psychodynamic, and that's where my thoughts on this stem from.

 

[Kubash16]

Hi,

So sex in dreams does not necc mean sex.
So, I am guessing that rape may be a similar thing.
Maybe the content in your dream was your t raping you, but that does not actually mean rape or that you are seeing him as a rapist or abuser.
It may symbolize merging or intimacy being mixed with fear and lack of control.
I agree with the other posters in that it would be great for him to work with you to unravel this. In many ways this could be progress and looking at this dream symbolically in the context of transference could psychologically move you forward.
I can see why he does not want an abuse or rape association and perhaps he is struggling with some reverse transference over helping you if he is male and you are female.
And honestly therapists are human too.
He may be able to see that he can work thru this and that ultimately this dream does not signify that he is being aligned with abuse, but more you are projecting abuse onto him, which is different.
Projecting abuse is an act of therapy or healing, or it can be in the right context.
For you to dream this is your subconscience wanting to process this by putting the trauma experience onto a safe persona. It is like hanging your coat on a hook. The coat is your trauma and the hook is your T, he is "holding" and reflecting the trauma so you can process it.
This happened possibly because you have developed enough trust which is also why his response to having you work with a diff T may be upsetting.
My T is very psychodynamic, and that's where my thoughts on this stem from.

I do think this is exactly what’s going on. It’s just terrifying territory. And I’m definitely projecting a whole lot of shit on him, without a doubt.

 

[Mach123]

So I went to my therapist about CSA and I'm hyper sexual and we never talked about anything but sex. (That's not true but it's way up there in terms of priorities) Yes I had dreams and sexual fantasies about her and since she's a specialist she knows that, and though it took me years to get some of my sh*t out with her, I'm not squeamish? In Judith Hermans book I think she said CSA survivors may approach the therapist about sex as this is the only means of closeness or intimacy they understand. I know she said that I just don't have the quote.

I have to be able to say anything I can get out and I do and I have. Your therapist should be like this with you also though it can take a long time to get that trust.

I did see a male therapist for about 4 years a doctor (PhD psych) I didn't really like him though.

 

[Kubash16]

Thank you @Mach123 I’m glad I’m not the only one to dream it. I tend to be very hyper sexual too, it cycles. We really haven’t talked about that yet. I’ve very vaguely alluded to it but broaching it and my issues with porn are something I know I need to get out to him but haven’t been able to bring myself to do it. So maybe this dream had a little to do with reaching that point of trust to do exactly that. Still terrifying as f*ck and just not ready.

 

[Mach123]

Thank you @Mach123 I’m glad I’m not the only one to dream it. I tend to be very hyper sexual too, it cycles. We really haven’t talked about that yet. I’ve very vaguely alluded to it but broaching it and my issues with porn are something I know I need to get out to him but haven’t been able to bring myself to do it. So maybe this dream had a little to do with reaching that point of trust to do exactly that. Still terrifying as f*ck and just not ready.

It's extremely difficult and I went through several therapists. I sat with my current one for about three years and most of it came out. It was a very long difficult process. It still is but there is a giant difference now between having it mostly out and having it mostly in. But I think you're you are right about being ready. I don't think it comes out till you are ready. I don't think you can force it. You are very brave. You are doing it. It gets easier.