Sex

[Supervixn]

Wondering if anyone else experiences this or has any thoughts or guidance:

I feel more happy and in control when remaining abstinent in my relationship. Having sex feels like a loss of control and sends me into paranoia and depression. I enjoy sex but afterward I struggle.

 

[Gs172003]

I can enjoy it on occasion but then I'm a holy terror for a week after. I used to be able to fade out during but ever since my husband told me I'm not allowed I can't do it anymore. Figure that one out

 

[Angie99]

I feel happier when I’m not having sex in my relationship. I “deal” with having sex about once every few weeks. I can’t handle it anymore. I used to lOve it, but since facing my trauma, I’m the complete opposite. Sex makes me anxious and depressed.

 

[sleepingwolf]

I think this is really common, for people with trauma and difficult situations, as well as people in general. I think there is a lot of pressure out there for things to be a certain 'way', or to be 'normal'. With something so intimate and personal, who is to say what things should be like. I used to have issues but I feel I'm in a better place now, although still I struggle.

I would recommend thinking about what you want, what you really want from sex, and how that would work.
I also feel such energies are connected with creativity and other activities. Doing 'sex' in isolation just doesn't work. Do you have any creative hobbies or passions?

Good luck with it all. It's an ongoing and constantly shifting thing for us all :):hug:

 

[CaraG]

Yes, I totally understand.

 

[Mee]

I have libido but I struggle with the intimacy. My life partner has never let me down but the person who ’did this too me’ also said he loved me, would forever and I could trust him. They both occupy the same intimate space in my mind. I sometimes get flash backs during sex as a result and I just try to carry on but my partner can obviously tell I am ’no longer there’ and that's distressing for him and certainly not how he wants to have intimacy with me. I’mmanaged to make love ’with him’ a few times since. But I cannot relax, don’t feel ’safe’ . He is being endlessly patient and says he loves me.