Sexual Assault Sexual Abuse - Myths And Facts

[Red Feather]

You can not be forced to do something you do not want to do.

You are part of the problem.

 

[janej32]

If you initially agreed to have sex with someone you can't just say no once it has started.

 

[Tarot]

You like the drama and playing "the victim role" because it gets you attention.

Man, that one really gets me. It wasn't until yesterday that I read somewhere on this forum that if a person is abused as a child, it sort of just sets the pace for the rest of their life until they confront the issue. It was a lightbulb moment. I was so relieved to see such a common theme with others and didn't feel so alone. Every time someone would tell me to stop having the victim mentality, I would feel worse. But now I see it was normal in our cases to feel this way, and now I will be better able to stop it from happening anymore.

 

[Red Feather]

"You are responsible for making him come regularly. Otherwise he will get irritable and unhappy."

Quoted by mother dearest.

 

[Tarot]

A counselor will be able to help.

Just always keep in mind that the many psychiatrists, counselors, "therapists" and the sort are human just like you and me. It takes a long time to find one competent enough to handle such a delicate trauma such as sex abuse.

 

[Tarot]

"Family is everything."

 

[miss_isolated]

Children can't sexually abuse a child - but I was abused by a teenager when I was 3.

 

[miss_isolated]

If you weren't penetrated it wasn't abuse.

I believed all through childhood that because I wasn't raped that the abuse was just a normal but "dream-like" experience that I couldn't quite make sense of but I felt incredibly guilty about the enjoyment of it.

 

[miss_isolated]

A woman can't rape a man.
A woman can't rape a woman.
A woman can't rape a child.

I'm not proud of this but I believed the first one and as a teenager even made jokes loud and proud on the street to friends about raping a male celebrity I had a crush on at the time. My friend would reply "women don't have a d**ck!!" we were both very confused about it.

I wonder if men believe that one. Maybe they feel invulnerable to rape fullstop???

 

[Tarot]

"You weren't really going to kill yourself; it was just a cry for attention."

No, really, I wanted to die. I still, at times, do. Please don't invalidate my pain just because I didn't have the courage to pull the trigger. I was more scared of shooting myself wrong and surviving with half of a head in a mental institution for the rest of my life than I was dying. Thanks.

 

[Red Feather]

Sexual abuse can not happen through mind control.

 

[SpentRound3503]

"You weren't really going to kill yourself; it was just a cry for attention."

I hear this one a lot as a cop. The funny part about this is that "the attention" is quite often what stops me from doing it. I'm afraid of only seriously injuring myself or changing my mind midstream then going to the hospital and being found out at work for the freak I am. My reputation suffers enough for the freak they think I might be; having it confirmed will only get me fired.

Another thing people miss is that sometimes it is technically true; BUT what nobody thinks about is that maybe it was attention you desperately needed and didn't know how to ask for. Maybe next time you will want to kill yourself. A healthy mind doesn't consider even fake suicide.