Sexual Assault Flashbacks, Hypervigilance, And "temporary Triggers". Anybody Like This?

[Flashlight14]

I just finished going through another Anxiety Phase/Survival Mode (what I assume to be hyper vigilance). I'm just wondering if anybody else experiences it like this. What I mean is: I'll be "fine" most of the time (still struggle with depression and anxiety, but nothing out of the ordinary for me) and then something (usually interactions with men) will set me off into EXTREME anxiety where I can interpret anything as a threat. This anxiety phase lasts a good week or two before I can calm down. During this time I'm much more likely to experience flashbacks: everything from momentarily reliving something to nightmares to extreme emotional reactions (fear, disgust, dread, confusion) that seem to come up out of nowhere. The flashbacks are set off by "temporary triggers" - things that I normally don't have a problem with, but in Survival Mode they become landmines. Things like eating (the sensation in my mouth), or laying in bed (the way the blankets touch me, my body position), people getting too close to me physically, sudden/unexpected movements, etc.
Sometimes I think I'm paranoid, or just plain nutty! But I know that all of this stuff is connected to past events, even if I can't always identify them. Is this what happens for you or am I really as crazy as I feel?:O_o:

 

[bell]

Yes, it happens.

Are you in therapy?

If not, I strongly suggest you start going, as it's not going to either go away or disappear on its own, chances are high it will just get worse.

If so, talk to your therapist about it, the triggers, the stressors, how it escalates, etc. They can help you find a way through it all.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I don't think you're nuts, not in the least. It sounds like you're describing your own personal roller coaster of PTSD. I think we all deal with the ups and downs in one way or another. Mine also revolves around triggering events. I am in a phase where I am trying to push myself forward so I can't run from all of my triggers anymore. That is, I'm trying to re-connect with life (post-processing) and there are a TON of triggers out there in the world, so I am confronting them one by one and slowly things are getting better. Some of the major issues I still get help with, but others I am confronting on my own.

Have you sought out treatment for your PTSD? If not, I urge you to find a trauma therapist who can help you work through your triggers.

 

[Deleted member 19804]

I get that way a lot, too. I think it's pretty common for survivors of sexual assault. For me it also gets worse when I'm stressed in general. I freak out and everything around me is suddenly a threat; hypervigilance overload!

I agree with @Solara , you should talk to a trauma therapist about this. Even if just to help you get through those moments of extreme hypervigilance.

 

[Leigh925]

Yes! Finally settling down in the last two days after having a disastrous week flashbacks triggered by a song and then several small things the following days. I felt like I was in a tail spin. Now I am just exhausted coming out of it. The amount of energy it takes to balance things out and for to me live the way I want to is overwhelming at times.

 

[Still loving]

I feel like this a lot too Flashlight. I wasn't sexually assaulted exactly, it has been long term domestic violence and am constantly bumping up against my own triggers. I am still with him and this can happen quite rapidly rather than a week or so at a time. Living with hyper vigilance is exhausting isn't it? It's awful how within a moment everything that was ok a second ago is suddenly painted so differently. I find this really hard to deal with as I need a place I can rely on to be safe. Fear is powerful, but with time and help, learning to control it to some degree helps me feel powerful too,

I wish you the very very best ~

 

[Flashlight14]

Wow! Thank you all for responding!
Yes, I am in therapy. it's the only thing that gives me hope of ever feeling sane, haha! In our last session, I tried to explain to my T that I was having flashbacks etc, but I don't think it made much sense. It's so hard to think clearly when I'm like that. I plan on discussing this next session. And since you all understood what I was saying, and I'm no longer freaking out, I think I'll have a better shot at it this time. ;)

 

[Rumors]

I am with you, flashlight. Same thing can happen here. Make sure you take good care of yourself by eating and sleeping well. Hang in there!