I don’t know where to start…I still lie to myself about it. I don’t know how to move on. My ex was verbally abusive and very controlling, with a drug addiction. He would force me to have sex with him bc if I didn’t I was cheating and a whore. He would blindfold me bc I always wanted to hide my face during it. This time some thing wasn’t feeling right. I took the blindfold off and he had a friend in the room. I don’t know to this day if that guy in the room touched me, or raped me and I didn’t know this was happening. I don’t know if this was only a one time thing or if they were other ?!?! I don’t know what happened to me. He will never tell me the truth. I just don’t know how to get passed it. How to let go of something I don’t even know the full truth. No one understands and I can’t talk to people about this.