Shaking And Heart Racing

[shadowchaser]

Well my brother from another mother was arrested. The woman who managed to get it done first stole his keys. He asked me to come up and sit with him. Just in case she tried to come in. While here the police arrested him. He told me to watch his place and call his mom. Soon after the ex showed up with a friend. Her friend tried to push his way past me and both were hostile. I told one of my friends (helping keep me company as I was already worked up) to call the police but the ex got on the phone before we could.

When the police got here they had all my friends leave. So now I'm alone with a group of men and an aggressive woman who knew about my ptsd. I dissociated while they were here. I was watching from outside. I watched her go into his bedroom and close the door. I could hear her throwing stuff around and the police doing nothing about it other then tell me I wasn't allowed to say anything. Just like when I was a kid. I'm not allowed to say anything. She went to take the knifes bro was so proud of finding. Ceramic and high quality. I said to the cop quietly those were my bros she shouldn't be taking them. First he told me to be quiet then told her as she couldn't prove ownership she has to leave them. I mentioned the keys and a phone she took and the cops told me to be quiet. She stole some of his shirts and medications. And I wasn't allowed to say anything. I brought up one of the things she stole and got blown off.

Now that they are gone I'm shaking and my heart is going a mile a minute. The memories won't stop and I want to cry but I'm watching my baby cousin today. I can't stop and it's starting to hurt.

 

[The Albatross]

Breathe and sometimes it can help to clench all your muscles and hold it as long as you can and then let them relax. Repeat it as you can. Muscles can only do two things extend or contract. If you get some success, you can quietly focus on each body part, clenching and remembering to breathe until you can't hold it any longer then let it relax.

Sounds like a really tough spot for you to have been there for your brother. You did do the best you could, you can tell him that. The situation was clearly out of your control... now all you can do for the moment is try to get some levity and be there as best as you can to watch your cousin. A friend can help you do that if need be right? Be there with you?

 

[shadowchaser]

Got two friends with me right now. They are being very patient with me.

 

[arfie]

We get by with a little help from our friends. I am thrilled to hear you have some real time friends to sit with you a while. That's allot to go through.

Just breathe. Slowly. In. Out.

 

[shadowchaser]

Shaking is done but I can't sleep. They can't change the locks on his place till Monday. So I have to stay here until then. I'm not good at sleeping when I'm not at home let alone after the shakes. My body hurts.