Dom Violence She Crushed My World, And Now Is Trying To Destroy What Is Left

[Purplemunchkin]

I'm sorry I can't offer more than :hug:

 

[Deleted member 20978]

As others have responded over the history of this thread, I'm shocked at what you've gone through. She is undoubtedly a sociopath.

It's not much comfort, but I think there is some part of moving on in that you're unwilling to hate her. It will obviously take time to get out of all this and to rebuild your own life. But your son has many years ahead and you are clearly a good father. She's not going to be able to succeed in destroying your life. I wish you the best in finding the supports to win over her insanity.

:hug:

 

[didithappen]

Thank you both, had a good session with my therapist today, and also another call from the social worker, she wanted the family court case number as she wants to review it. My only hope is that from the three sworn "truthfull" statements from my wife which out of the total of 67 accusations, she contradicts 42 of them, the rest evidence crushes - I hope that she is finally the first official to see it.

The trouble with family court is each appearance is different magistrates in this country, and they only read relevant to that session, not the case - so none ever saw her inconsistensies... and took her face value.

Hatred, anger - they left a while ago, my therapist, my "new life" partner and I all noticed after it happened, it was like suddenly I could no longer hate, or get angry. All I feel is pity for her.

My son however - I would genuinely fall on a sword for him, and it worrys me deeply what she is putting him through daily, psychologically, he is so young, and its unfair. I have been a child of divorce, its horrible.

 

[Purplemunchkin]

Fingers crossed the social worker is a good one (I promise there are some out there). If you have any concerns about your son's well being she should treat them seriously

Good on you for moving forward with your own life though. It can't be easy, and it does show that you are a strong person - that is a great role-model for your son.

 

[didithappen]

She was and I was cleared and have my son now until Boxing Day, words cannot describe the emotions I am feeling.

Thank you all for being here.

 

[Purplemunchkin]

That is awesome, I am so happy for you :woot:

 

[didithappen]

Thank you all, had a wonderful week with my son, and bless him, good as gold. He will be 4 end of January, so first real special Christmas. Starting to understand the idea. And all he wanted was a yoyo. Xmas eve we put out mince pie, drink, carrot, and a special key so Santa could let himself in as we dont have a chimney. Next morning, he woke and was over the moon Santa came, saw his foot prints, noticed the drink was gone, mince pie, and even the carrot was chewed. Reindeer pooh added to it. (raisans in chocolate). And he loved it, he crashed around 4pm, and was alseep less than 10 mins after going to bed so knackered, but he had a lovely week.

He got a bike, a minoins castle, 2 tractors (toys), duplo bricks and a YOYO! yes santa listened, and his fav toy of the lot - the YOYO.....! lol.... kids eh?

Best Christmas ever, and worth the fight. Now I just want divorce over so she can get out of my personal life.

 

[didithappen]

She just wont f****** give up, pardon me, it is starting to consume me again.

The divorce has started to get even worse, her solicitors wrote to say that she was open to negotiations on split of equity from house.

Honestly - it would set both of us up for years to come and give our son a wonderful life. I would be able to afford therapy and I hope one day to beat PTSD, starting to come to terms with having it, recognising symptoms etc.

But now she has filed with Divorce for a Financial Remedy, asking for everything, maintenance for her, pension the lot, and claiming again that I abused her.

Getting to my wits end, I am on benefits now, had to give up work, to many panic attacks.

Was signed off work by my GP, and after I had to resign, a few months later I found I qualified for benefits due to PTSD.

Its not much, but it helps, I can get to see my therapist every couple of months.

And now she wants so much, I am terrified a court will give it to her, she has lived in a womans refuge since Febuary last year claiming I was her abuser. Yet I have audio recordings of her mental abuse, planting suicidal thoughts many times, explaining her anger, why she was angry with me. And not one single authority in the UK will take it seriously.

The police told me I had no complaint worth investigating.

They wonder why so many males find it hard coming forward.

 

[bearmom]

My husband has ptsd from childhood abuse and is coming to terms with his DID.
Please stay strong and remember you are not alone. This sounds very much like gaslighting to me. I am glad you are out of this relationship and I hope you will some day be able to have the relationship with your son that you truly deserve. Stay strong and keep fighting. *hugs*

 

[Gadgie]

Quote........."The divorce has started to get even worse, her solicitors wrote to say that she was open to negotiations on split of equity from house."

I know what you mean, when I got divorced, over twenty years ago, we both said we would keep it amicable, with no lawyers.

Of course, she changed her mind, got a lawyer, who made the whole thing a nightmare for me, and it ended up with me being taken to the cleaners, I came out of it broke, homeless and jobless!

Had to start all over again at the age of forty!

 

[didithappen]

Just a quick update - we went to court, I screwed up and filed my defense late, and it was rejected, but hey in 5 weks and 5 days I am finally divorced, it has only been 2 years!

Now my defense got struck out, but then she filed as above for financial remedy - so I get to defend again.

Yet me - I DO NOT CARE

I actually have got to the point of were I want to now thank her, if we had parted as adults, talked, agreed - I would have felt obligated to help her out for the rest of my life, regardless of what she has done, I treasure the vows I took, in sickness and health and all that.

But now, because of what she has done, come 31st March a judge will decide, than that is that.

It hit me today, the end is near. And of all days, the second anniversary of my Mothers death, that kicked this all off.

I just want my life to be mine - I have never been this happy, and certainly not any time with her looking back now. I love life, I wish she would just bugger off.!

 

[GrayOwl]

Don't know if you'll ever sign back in.
Your story is so touching.
I hope you have found recovery and happiness with a new partner, that healing will bring some semblance of happiness and your son will grow up strong and healthy and can move beyond any emotional damage that occurred.
Hope you find the happiness you are looking for and deserve.