Shopping

[Ghostybear73]

Well, I made it through a grocery store and Wal-Mart without the getting angry, which precipitates my desires to kill someone. I thought about how I could make it easier and decided to wait until I was in a decent mood and I was NOT in a hurry. It worked!!! I actually laughed at the lady ahead of me, whose credit card didn't work. She looked so freaking pissed and stormed out of the store telling the cashier (very rudely) to leave her stuff there and she would be back.

 

[Bees Are Awesome]

Wow, you are brave to go into stores on these last few days before Christmas. You couldn't pay me enough to do that! (I probably would never make it into the store anyway.) Whoever came up with the idea that this is "the most wonderful time of the year" had to have been smoking something good. ;)

With all seriousness, though, that had to feel like such an accomplishment. I mean, you thought ahead and you tried something new and it worked. That's pretty awesome. Kudos to you!

 

[untiltoday]

That's awesome, @Ghostybear73 ! I was realizing a similar idea today, too, while I was out shopping (still for presents):

If you accept that it will be loud/crazy Xmas music, with mostly rushed and rude people: it can bother you *less* if you just tell yourself it will be exactly that. (Of course, this is easier said than done and I came home and passed out, but it actually helped!) ;)

 

[mytai]

I have risked going into malls and walmart over the last few days. My sister only JUST told me what she wanted for Christmas, otherwise I wouldn't set foot in a mall or walmart this close to Christmas. For me, the only way to make it through without having a panic attack is to wear a comfy sweatshirt, have my keys in my hand and bang them on my thigh as I'm walking, and to throw headphones in and listen to my own music while dodging people.

Come to think of it, the key thing probably makes me look like a nervous shop lifter... but it's what gets me through.

Glad you made it out @Ghostybear73

 

[Ghostybear73]

That's a good tactic mytai. I may just add something like that to my arsenal. I would have never gone shopping if it wasn't for my son. He is in the military so when a holiday comes around, I have to go buy his presents (mainly for his 7 year old sister).

See this year we got her big things, which were a little pricey, so she only has a couple presents under the tree, his included, which is that robot dog (again a little pricey). He told me he wanted her to wake up and have a lot of presents under the tree and asked if I would go get her some little things and wrap them up for her. So, I went and got little things that she needs, like pajamas, rather than wants.

He spoils her (last year he bought her a trampoline) and I let him. He is getting deployed again shortly after christmas and he wants her to always think of him, no matter what happens. I know its the love that counts, but little ones have a tendency to forget that and he is afraid she will forget him.

I hate shopping in general, in fact it can be completely debilitating, so I let eric handle it. Since that is not really an option anymore, I have to fight my internal battles to get anything done.

During his last deployment I was given a credit/debit card for his account. It did make it a little easier knowing I was out shopping with someone elses money ;)

 

[Recovery Girl]

Good thread! We can all relate, I'm sure! I went to Wal-Mart yesterday (my daughter bought me some stuff). I always ground myself and tell my companions to breath and ground before entering. I also make it a point to look at people. I smile at them a lot and sometimes say Happy Holidays. Sometimes, I make it a point to give compliments. It helps me enjoy the experience. Happy Holidays to all here on the forum. If you are having a hard time with the holidays,,,,have a plan and indulge yourself in things that make you happy!

 

[falling]

Recovery Girl-what type of grounding techniques do you do?

 

[JustBe]

When I absolutely MUST shop (I put it off a few dozen times first) I go mid week early in the day to avoid most of the crowds and idiots.

Kira has my back and I only go to one or two places (both familiar) and try to make it VERY quick!

 

[Ghostybear73]

I put it off a few dozen times first

That's hilarious, made me laugh!!!!!

 

[JustBe]

Yup. That's my "M.O."! I put off everything for as long as possible until NOT doing it is more uncomfortable than just getting it over with (been putting off the dentist for years now).

 

[cherryblossom]

I'm sorry to rain on your 'success' story, but the second half of your post completely riled me.

I actually laughed at the lady ahead of me, whose credit card didn't work. She looked so freaking pissed and stormed out of the store telling the cashier (very rudely) to leave her stuff there and she would be back.

I think it's really very mean of you to laugh at someone else's misfortune. You don't know her situation, and to openly laugh at her, is really horrible and supercilious. Perhaps going to the store was a massive deal for her too, and she fell at the final hurdle. I hope if that ever happens to you, you have slightly more compassionate people behind you in the queue!

She was likely mortified that her card was rejected, and maybe she was a complete bitch who deserved it, but perhaps she was struggling big time, and having her card rejected was the final straw. Maybe anger and rudeness was the only way she could try to save face, rather than breaking down in tears. How would you react if your card was rejected? Would you find it helpful if the person behind you was laughing at you?

Perhaps it's just me, but having PTSD myself, has made me more compassionate towards others, and less judgemental.

Pointing out another persons failings to highlight your own success is pretty low in my opinion.

 

[Ghostybear73]

@cherryblossom you are absolutely correct. It was incredibly mean and I'm glad you pointed that out!