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Should I forgive my abusers?

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So, should I write and forgive him? Will this help my healing path? Im afraid that this could backfire on me. Did anyone did this?
How I operate:

I only even bother asking myself if I might want to forgive someone -who has wronged me- IF AND ONLY IF they are a person I wish to keep active and engaged in my life.

For anyone else who has wronged me, or those I love? I just decide if it’s worth killing them over, or not.

- If it’s not worth killing then? Then that’s easy.

It’s not about forgiveness, it’s about understanding. “This” is them. A small piece of them, or a foundational piece of them, or whatever. Something I can continue to expect from them, in one form or another. Either on a regular basis, or when the circumstances are right.

- I decide if someone IS worth killing? Then things become complicated.

I don’t walk around killing everyone who deserves it. Mores the pity.

So, should I write and forgive him? Will this help my healing path? Im afraid that this could backfire on me. Did anyone
What’s telling for me, here… is the idea that unless you forgive someone to their face / they KNOW you are forgiving them (like by writing them a letter)… then what? They’re not forgiven? Or???

Do you really need someone else’s permission/awareness before you can do something?
 
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I would forgive only if you wanted to, you felt you wanted to. I wouldn't approach them but would relay it if they approached you. They may not think they need it, they may minimize or justify it, or blame you. I think sometimes forgiveness is the choice of ending the cycle of violence, in action, thought or reaction.
 
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