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I forgive myself for .........

Thank you so much @Midnightmoon,@Teasel,@Defaultxlovebeautiful @Weemie &community for continuing with this thread.
If we sit back and think we really don't forgive ourselves enough. Please keep going - we are helping each other. It can be the most simplest, sweetest , hardest or saddest. Just sharing it takes the weight off and a load off.

Here goes another one-
I forgive myself for not calling someone near and dear to me often enough - It was a little too late to re-think or re-visit that due to my hesitation or apathy - when they made their way out of this world. The chance will never come again.
I forgive myself for continuing to use benzodiazepine long after it provided any relief and for using it inappropriately the last months only because I feared the withdrawals. I am clear now, it was awful and I am totally to blame, I forgive myself for the horror I put myself through.
This is sooooooooo hard -
I forgive myself for falling in love with the most kindest, compassionate, fun, caring, honest, warm, attentive, courageous, brave ,generous, hard working, affectionate ,considerate, sweet, gentle, long-suffering,
persevering ,loving man (yes, a sufferer )who committed and then unexpectedly uncommitted.
I forgive myself for - as a result of that ,going into shock and slowly shutting down since.
I forgive myself for, despite trying, not being able to get all of me together to show myself who I am...

I also forgive my body for not having the physical energy and brain power to consistently carry out the important things I know I could do and be otherwise...