Calmdown
Silver Member
Two years ago something traumatic suddenly came up. I don't know if it's true. Rationally I question everything, but when something triggers me and the emotions come up, I just know it happened. Factually I don't know anything. It was my mother's brother, he is already dead. I would have been very young, maybe between 2 and 5 years old. Most of the time I don't want to tell her, for several reasons. On the other hand everything has an end, and I don't know how much longer I'll even have the chance to tell her, she's in her 70s. A few days ago she was in the hospital and I suddenly regretted being so distanced and not wanting to reveal anything about myself. It's even harder because I can't be sure it actually happened. But it has affected me deeply. I feel different, more distanced, and she has no idea. It's not the only reason I'm distanced though, the people around me are all self-centered and I have to be careful not to let them burden me too much with their problems.
