Should I Tell Someone?

[mamachick]

Your persistance will make a difference for others. I know this can be un-nerving, but you belong in the class, it is your class, and you didnt do anything wrong.

 

[Eleanor]

Yikes. Denial. There's a curve ball. Excellent quick work getting other students to commit that they heard the same thing. OF COURSE you cried afterward. I would too. And I don't have PTSD. Perfectly normal and healthy response. And playing it over and over. Again, I'm with you. Decidedly uncomfortable, but.... You might try just writing it down, sometimes it works to get stuff out of my head. Well Done going to talk to her, and following up appropriately after:tup:

Brat is completely right. What do you want from the dean? A note in her file? A censure? To be honest, if she has tenure there is not much anyone can do other than send her a strongly worded email. Assuming this is a pattern of behavior tho, the dean etc will need a PILE of such notes from lots of students in her file in order to address it.

More importantly: What do you want for you? Are you comfortable in that class anymore? Do you want to finish it with her? Or would you rather get a "redo" at the school's expense? You could late withdraw and enroll in another section - or late transfer sections - or do the rest of the course independent study with another prof. You have lots of options here, and all things are possible at universities.... given the right form with the right signatures.

Hang in there, you're doing great! More brave and assertive than most people, to be perfectly honest.

 

[LostBear325]

Eleanor: I just want her to admit to doing it. If she would have just said she was sorry when I went to talk to her and admitted it was wrong, then this would all be over. But she is making me look like i'm the liar and that is just not fair. As far as what I want to happen with the Dean, i'm not sure. I think he should know though.

 

[Eleanor]

Realistically (having spent my entire adult life dealing with more or less neurotic faculty members) you are likely not going to get an admission out of her, and if no admission likely no apology (however wimpy) either. If I should turn out to be right about this (and I'm hoping for your sake and hers that I don't) then what? Clearly, your recollection is correct (as attested to by fellow students). So no worries about YOUR sanity (whew:O_o:) But what does LostBear need to leave this behind as just one more of the regrettable encounters with a***oles in higher ed?

You are absolutely right he should know. And you should turn up in his office with a typed letter of complaint detailing the incident, including the signatures of fellow students, and citing any professional code of conduct you can find. That will reside in her file awaiting other supporting documents - its what you can do....

 

[LostBear325]

I have decided that I am not going to let this take over. Every time something happens that bothers me it completely consumes everything about me and I just end up doing nothing at all and letting it happen. I will not do that anymore. I am going ice skating with some friends tonight and I am not going to let myself be depressed anymore. I need to get better.

 

[KP the nut]

I am going ice skating with some friends tonight and I am not going to let myself be depressed anymore .

Yay, good for you LB. It is trying to find that healthy balance. IMHO, you do need to persue it BUT until you can, put it into a mental box and go have some fun.

Have a great time on the ice and with your friends.

((HUGS))
KP

 

[LostBear325]

I'm sorry I haven't updated this situation in a while. Everything has been resolved though. She now has something in her record about what happened that will always be there. And I was also able to switch from her class to another psychology class.

 

[Sunrise]

We are so proud that you stood your ground and that you can now get back to what it important to you.
You can bet she will think twice before doing something mindlessly unethical like that again.
xx : O )

 

[KvE]

Wow you are so brave. I had a similar situation in my developmental psychology class. My professor was completely loony. He wanted everyone to call him "Dr. Feel Good". Something I refused to do so we started off kinda rocky. We got to a chapter that was mostly about childhood abuse/foster care. He knew I and my brother who was also in that class were both in foster care because of a paper we had to have him sign for an independent living scholarship. (a scholarship some kids in foster care are very lucky to get to help pay for school) Throughout that whole chapter he kept singling my brother and I out. Asking us questions and asking us to explain our experience in foster care to the class. Neither of them were very good ones so we really didn't feel comfortable with this so we refused which got us both a zero for the day's assignments. I wasn't as brave as you. I never did anything about it. My brother, my best friend, and I withdrew from the class and paid out of pocket to retake it with another professor.

Anyways that ended up longer than planned. Long post short you are very brave and awesome.

 

[unalaa]

It blows my mind that an instructor would do something like this... Ever hear of confidentiality? Professional ethics? Jeez.... Glad you resolved it, LB! I concur with KvE that you are very brave and awesome! :)

 

[melody]

Way to go Lostbear - you should be extremely proud of yourself for sticking to your guns and not letting it consume you! :)

 

[LostBear325]

Thank you everyone, it does feel really nice to finally stick up for myself and have something positive come out of it.