nickeldoor
Bronze Member
Hi Angelfire,
Let me try to frame it up with few questions here - you are feeling bitter because of your past? You are confused because you lost your identity? You are not accepting yourself because you don't know who you are?
Let us look at things a little bit different (in hopes that you can get yourself out of yourself):
1 ... Look around you in your country - there are many people incapable of helping themselves - you should be thankful that you are in all sense capable of serving yourself and others.
2 ... Being able to read/write makes you top 10% of this world's population - current population stands at 6 - 7 billion.
3 ... Being a Creative Director makes you a decent livelihood - millions in Africa can't afford a decent meal or proper health care.
4 ... Your drive to help humanity is a positive trait - so why bother thinking how bad your situation is? Use your drive to help someone.
5 ... Your intense indulgence in your personal situation doesn't help anything - why not try some light sports, friends gathering, or help out at a local charity?
6 ... At 35 being a Creative Director - what's wrong with it?
7 ... Though Africa is full of humanity situations and deficiency of the government (corruption, incompetence etc.) - what have you done to help?
8 ... Nelson Mandela did not complain about Africa. He did what was right to solve Africa's apartheid problem and was sentenced to jail for 27 years.
9 ... There are many that I can think of ... but i think you see the points ...
Now, I hope you will see yourself in a new and positive light. Since human behaviors are pretty complex, I will try my best to sort out your feelings.
A. You may have lost your identity - the reason why I think you wanted to leave your wife is not because you don't love her. It's because you don't think you deserve your wife, and you want to fall into deeper abyss by cutting away whatever is good around you. This happens very often to people with low self-esteem.
B. Reconcile with the 'old self' - We can't control whatever happened to us in our early years. But as human beings, we can learn to ACCEPT and EMBRACE our past self, that means inviting your 'old self' to come into your life and walk together again. No more the 'old self' vs. the 'new self'. No more arguing, judging, probing, or even thinking. Just ACCEPT and EMBRACE. This 'inner child' of yours once learn that it's not his fault that he was abused, he will slowly realize that you are fighting hard for his worthiness, and slowly, he will learn to love himself and walk together with you.
Talk to your 'old self' and invite him to join your 'new self'. Do not judge, criticize, or look-down on the 'old self'. EMBRACE him with unconditional love and care.
Try this and see if it works. Remember that the path to recovery is a self discovery, not an instant overnight magic. There are so many ways/methods to self discovery, but when it comes to emotions, it better to travel with light baggage or none at all.
It shall be all for now and keep us updated.
~nickeldoor~
Let me try to frame it up with few questions here - you are feeling bitter because of your past? You are confused because you lost your identity? You are not accepting yourself because you don't know who you are?
Let us look at things a little bit different (in hopes that you can get yourself out of yourself):
1 ... Look around you in your country - there are many people incapable of helping themselves - you should be thankful that you are in all sense capable of serving yourself and others.
2 ... Being able to read/write makes you top 10% of this world's population - current population stands at 6 - 7 billion.
3 ... Being a Creative Director makes you a decent livelihood - millions in Africa can't afford a decent meal or proper health care.
4 ... Your drive to help humanity is a positive trait - so why bother thinking how bad your situation is? Use your drive to help someone.
5 ... Your intense indulgence in your personal situation doesn't help anything - why not try some light sports, friends gathering, or help out at a local charity?
6 ... At 35 being a Creative Director - what's wrong with it?
7 ... Though Africa is full of humanity situations and deficiency of the government (corruption, incompetence etc.) - what have you done to help?
8 ... Nelson Mandela did not complain about Africa. He did what was right to solve Africa's apartheid problem and was sentenced to jail for 27 years.
9 ... There are many that I can think of ... but i think you see the points ...
Now, I hope you will see yourself in a new and positive light. Since human behaviors are pretty complex, I will try my best to sort out your feelings.
A. You may have lost your identity - the reason why I think you wanted to leave your wife is not because you don't love her. It's because you don't think you deserve your wife, and you want to fall into deeper abyss by cutting away whatever is good around you. This happens very often to people with low self-esteem.
B. Reconcile with the 'old self' - We can't control whatever happened to us in our early years. But as human beings, we can learn to ACCEPT and EMBRACE our past self, that means inviting your 'old self' to come into your life and walk together again. No more the 'old self' vs. the 'new self'. No more arguing, judging, probing, or even thinking. Just ACCEPT and EMBRACE. This 'inner child' of yours once learn that it's not his fault that he was abused, he will slowly realize that you are fighting hard for his worthiness, and slowly, he will learn to love himself and walk together with you.
Talk to your 'old self' and invite him to join your 'new self'. Do not judge, criticize, or look-down on the 'old self'. EMBRACE him with unconditional love and care.
Try this and see if it works. Remember that the path to recovery is a self discovery, not an instant overnight magic. There are so many ways/methods to self discovery, but when it comes to emotions, it better to travel with light baggage or none at all.
It shall be all for now and keep us updated.
~nickeldoor~
