Should the Person(s) Who Traumatized You Be Punished for What They Did?

[becvan]

Well, I used to feel that way but don't anymore. Frankly I don't care. I realized that it was never going to happen. Wanting them to be punished or even just acknowledge what they did to me, was never going to happen. I was just beating my head against the wall. It really served no purpose other than to keep me stuck in anger and hoping for something that will never happen. This does not mean I've even forgiven them, because I haven't. I just want nothing to do with them and have cut them ALL out of my life. I refuse to keep going in circles with this concept. I got off that damn train. I have more important things to do, like heal and have a good life. And that's my focus now. Hope that makes sense.

bec

 

[linasmom]

Bec,

I think it's great that you've been able to reach that point in your life. I assume it's something for which we all strive. I think a lot of us here are not at that point yet. It feels good to know that I'm not the only one with this issue of wanting personal justice - whatever that may be on a subjective level.

Maybe this is negative thinking, but I know it will take years upon years of therapy for me to not desire that any longer. And honestly, I don't know if I have it in me. Just me being truthful.

I do want to note - it has nothing to do with forgiveness for me - that is a separate issue. My wanting my mother and her perverted boyfriend to have their faces splattered all over the local news (and IT will, seeing as how my mother is a school teacher) has nothing to do with forgiveness...it has to do with , well, pay back.

Best,
Rachel

 

[ladybug08]

The only person I can change is myself...I need to remind myself of that. There is nothing I can do or say that can make my mom accept the damage she has done to our family. I am so glad that I no longer live in the same house or town. I am safe from harm...emotionally and physically.

I am working on becoming a better person. I am not the same person I was a few months ago, thanks to therapy.

As for forgiveness?...I don't know yet.:think:

 

[becvan]

Bec,
I think it's great that you've been able to reach that point in your life. I assume it's something for which we all strive. I think a lot of us here are not at that point yet. It feels good to know that I'm not the only one with this issue of wanting personal justice - whatever that may be on a subjective level.

Thanks Rachel. To be honest I didn't strive for it. I didn't even try, it just happened. My focus just changed and punishment and revenge disappeared. I wish I could say I knew the formula to doing this, but I don't. I just started caring about myself instead of about others.

bec

 

[Seeking_Nirvana]

At the time I was raped I was in denial. I didn't really ever think about the man going to jail but a couple of times.

I have forgiven him because anyone who could do such a thing has to be sick, or had been abused themselves. I believe he felt someone had to pay for the pain he is feeling inside himself. I hope that he has found peace and doesn't hurt people anymore.

Tammy

 

[2quilt]

my parents abused me, and they will get no forgiveness from me. They were mentally ill but functional and certainly reponsible for their actions. I hold them responsible. The men who have raped me will never get forgiveness either, nor will anyone else who has abused me out of power (the police). Nope, not from me.

 

[reallydown]

This is a very interesting thread. Thanks, Void. I just am not sure how to respond...given that my circumstances are quite different...in that I was traumatized by the actions of a large number of people most of whom I don't know...or at least I assume I don't know. I mean anyone who kills or attempts to kill innocent people should, in my view, be punished but there are so many of them...it'd be hard to punish every single one of them, or indeed to know everyone who participate din the brutality...so I guess you then go up the chain of command and punish those who gave the orders and who, in many cases, instigated the events that led to so much crap...So...finally, I don't know...I think they should be punished although essentially...that's not going to change much...there'll only be some sense of some justice being done I guess...meh I don't know.

 

[xxarmywifexx]

Wow...loaded question void, I think I'm going to have to think about it.

Thanks...lol

 

[2quilt]

i misread the question.
they all should be punished, yes.
In every case, the perps got off free.

 

[rallynut78]

Yes I think our current administration should be punished for starting this tragic war. no good will come of it except that they will have made themselves and their cronies rich. it's too bad I don't believe in judgment in the after life;(

 

[void]

:hello: When I started this thread I mentioned that I believe that my mother should be held criminally responsible for her abuse toward my sister and I, but now I'd like to talk about my Dad.

My father never touched me unless he had to and he never expressed any care of any kind. My father would sit in silence and ignore me if I spoke to him, he would not even look at me. My father would shake me violently if he became angry. My father still could not spell my name correctly or state my date of birth even in my late teens. If my mother was gone we would not be fed when we were very young. My father would walk too fast in the mall and lose us kids(I was sooo scared). Certainly no comfort or consolation were ever given. And so on and so on.

So my father was a little abusive but mostly neglectful. Childhood neglect is against the law. Did he break the law? You can't make someone care or love. He has had NO consequences for his behavior. Should he?

What about you my friends? Should the people who damaged you be punished by the law or in some other way? Do you believe they should not have to face any consequences? Tell us all what you think.

:smile:Void:smile:

 

[sassy-snape]

I personally think anyone that kills or rapes or sexaully abuses an adult or child should be hung in public as an example to others. people will think twice before they act these things out.

When they hurt another human or animal i think they take away their own rights and should be delt with like the demons they are.

instead of paying tax payers money to keep them safe in prison etc i think they should be killed as soon as they are found guilty!

if someone put a gun in my hand in front of my abuser i would be all too pleased to kill them.

i however do not believe in making anyone suffer in anyway. as humane as possible.
because you soil your own soul and you have to live with that for the rest of your lives.
DONT LOWER YOURSELF TO THEIR LEVELS!