Show therapist self harm scars?

[RunForever]

its been a while since I've posted on here and this has been on my mind for a while. I want to show my therapist my self harm scars. She's seen some but most are on my hips/upper thigh.
I dont know why I feel the need to show her, but I also feel like this is really weird... i guess I just don't want to be judged for wanting something like this.
Any thoughts?

 

[bellbird]

Hey @RunForever , welcome back :)

Several years ago when I was SHing heavily, most of my scars were on my hips/upper thigh, too.
I used to show my nurse, so she could make sure they weren't infected and were healing properly.

She's seen some but most are on my hips/upper thigh.

How did it feel when you showed your T some of your other scars?
Have you spoken to her about the ones on your hips/upper thigh?

I am taking it as a reassuring sign that you are wanting to show your T your scars.
I know for me, the reason that I SHed on my hips/upper thigh was because it was the easiest place to hide from the most people. I think there is some good in us wanting to break that secrecy a little.

 

[Ronin]

I'm not big on the showing scars thing, personally, but for medical purposes and even that makes me feel itchy & gross & ashamed crybaby & f*ckoff...

But what Bells said, that you're even in a space you are no longer SHing and dealing with your past actively, and willing to be open with another person about the extent of it / both honesty & trust & many other things?

Those are super super good things, worth holding onto.

Also something I would talk to the T about even should you decide against the showing. :) As these are both solid milestones in a healing journey and accomplishments, and something to acknowledge & work with in the future.

And weird, it isn't. :)

 

[grit]

Absolutely not weird! anything to assist in your healing journey that involves your therapist is a plus.

 

[susannahsays]

I'm not judging you. I do think you should be cautious about this, though, because your motivation is likely that you wish to provoke some display of concern and caring from your therapist. From what I've read from others online, many therapists react neutrally when shown self harm injuries so as not to incentivize self harm. That is, they don't want to indirectly reward the behavior by providing what the client is seeking emotionally because that may make the client more likely to repeat the behavior. While this makes sense, it is also understandable that from the clients receiving such neutral responses, it feels kind of like their therapists just don't care. I guess I'm just mentioning this so you can be aware that you might not receive the response you're looking for, and also so you will be aware that if you do receive the response you're looking for, it could cause an increase in self harm impulses.

Again, not judging you. I don't self harm like you do. However, I sometimes do other things in order to provoke certain responses from the therapist (weirdly, to make her annoyed or exasperated), and it can be a slippery slope.

 

[RunForever]

Thank you everyone, truly helpful and I appreciate all the feedback. I'm going to try to talk to my T about this.

 

[Missycat]

I think its a good starting point to talk to your t. She may ask about why you felt the need to tell her ? @susannahsays makes a really valid point regarding this.
My T asked me where i s/h and one of the places is the very top of my arms (can hide/cover really easy as i dont ever where vest tops) - she did ask if she could see to ensure i was keeping the cuts clean etc - i was ashamed about s/h and didnt want the attention so it was tough to show her (just the once) we had an agreement though that if she ever asked about my s/h that i would be honest and open - ive always kept to this. Being able to talk to my t and trust her has helped in us working together to help me reduce the s/h and it has worked. My psychiatrist asked if he could see and i refused .. hes a nice guy but i didnt feel comfortable showing him.
So, yep definitely a good place to start is to talk with your t.