Recovery4Me
MyPTSD Pro
It’s odd the numbing sensation that chokes my emotions, tears and inner screams. He died alone during this stay-at-home order. No company, no family ... just his TV for the comfort of a voice. Seniors- often so lonely and forgotten.
He couldn’t read due to a mental disability but he loved looking at pictures of wildlife, stars and planets. I often read to him from online captions taking him from his little apt and limping gait into the world through the comfort of the internet. With child like joy this older man greeted nature, pointed out the beauty in life despite what was dealt to him each day. He was a kind hearted gent and loved to laugh.
He left me everything. I didn’t know. I found out today through a phone call. I explained the memories were more than enough and in the true spirit of my friend... I donated his belongings to the victims of our fires in my State. So many lives are changing through disaster, disease and loss that his meager belongings will make a difference to someone in need. He would like that as he often played Santa Claus at Christmas Time (as he called it). I know he must be smiling somewhere.
But for now, I am sitting in the middle of chaos waiting for my grief to pick a stage, any stage so that I can feel again and honor his loss. I thank you for listening.
He couldn’t read due to a mental disability but he loved looking at pictures of wildlife, stars and planets. I often read to him from online captions taking him from his little apt and limping gait into the world through the comfort of the internet. With child like joy this older man greeted nature, pointed out the beauty in life despite what was dealt to him each day. He was a kind hearted gent and loved to laugh.
He left me everything. I didn’t know. I found out today through a phone call. I explained the memories were more than enough and in the true spirit of my friend... I donated his belongings to the victims of our fires in my State. So many lives are changing through disaster, disease and loss that his meager belongings will make a difference to someone in need. He would like that as he often played Santa Claus at Christmas Time (as he called it). I know he must be smiling somewhere.
But for now, I am sitting in the middle of chaos waiting for my grief to pick a stage, any stage so that I can feel again and honor his loss. I thank you for listening.
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