Sleepless Night

[Ghostybear73]

Once again, my dreams woke me up and I wasn't able to go to sleep. I'm not sure how long I can go this time. A couple months ago, I went 7 days without sleep, went into my therapist office for an appointment and he went and got my psychiatrist. Sleep deprivation is bad news.

I went to work and every door that shut sounded like someone slammed it. I had to remove the clock from the wall because of the loudness of the click. I was hallucinating worse than I do now. It was an experience I would like to never experience again.

I'm hoping 2 to 3 hours sleep cab sustain me until I get in touch with the psychiatrist. In the meantime, I feel as though my perfect little world that took me 38 years to make, is crumbling down all around me!!!

 

[Seasounds]

It is so distressing to go without sleep! All I know, is that it is impotant for you to continually reach out to providers. It seems like more could be done; there is no need for you to suffer.

Do you have the option to either see your psychiatrist or primary care provider, soon, or could you go to the emergency department of any hospital, and ask to see the psychiatrist on call? If you report hallucinations, and increased depression, I bet they would consider admitting you. You can even request to be hospitalized so the doctors can figure out what is causing your problem-biological or psychological?

Do you also work with a psychologist, or therapist? They can help you investigate your conscious or subconscious information-that occur at night-in your thoughts and dreams.

Meanwhile, acupuncturists can offer treatments that break cycles, and naturopaths can offer nutritional and lifestyle recommendations. I wish you calm, peaceful sleep.

 

[Ghostybear73]

I work very closely with both my therapist and my psychiatrist. I plan on calling the psychiatrist on Monday. The problem is, I adjust to meds pretty quick.

I have talked to my therapist (who specializes in PTSD) and he says its severe dissociation. Like being an outsider looking in. The start of me finally opening up.

About a month ago, someone was trying to get into my room. I stared at the knob and waited for my husband to unlock the door and come in. When he didn't, I got up to open it and no one was there. I went looking for my husband and daughter and they were in the garage working on stuff.

About a week or so later, my dog came into my room. I was loving her and talking to her and then I realized, my door was locked, so unless my dog can unlock and open doors, it was impossible for her to be there. I looked down, no dog.

During a session with my therapist, he went over the significance of this. I used to sleep behind the door, so when it was my time, I would know they were coming and I can better prepare myself for the torture that was to come. My dog gives me great comfort, so having her there felt nice.

He says it is common for a person with PTSD to have severe dissociation, especially since this is the first time in two years I have started to open up to him and of course being on this forum is helping, but the process is so overwhelmingly painful, I have been thinking more and more about ending it and not having to deal with the emotions.

I think I'm rambling, so I will stop here.

My therapist says the processing part is the worse because you get worse before you get better.

 

[arfie]

Your therapist's counsel matches my personal experience. In addition to the dissociation, et al, there is that sleep deprivation business. Yes, it certainly is bad news with lingering effects. I suffered sleep deprivation level nightmares and insomnia for enough years to become all too familiar with the hallucinations and other nasty side effects. You described several scenes that would fit my experience with them.

Unfortunately, ending the therapy in order to avoid the pain only prolonged and complicated the process in my own, personal case. Ultimately I accepted that the fastest way out was straight on through.

Hope you find what it is for you, Ghosty Bear.

 

[Seasounds]

To break repititious cycles, when I have done the psychological work, I have needed to take my work into the physical level. (When 2 years lapsed, without quality sleep, I had had it.!)

The physical work helped my brain pattern to shift out of 'flight, fight, freeze', (and disassociation), and into action-movement that gave me the right to create and have boundaries. This turned around the nightmares. The brain patterns shifted, and I started to sleep.

I needed to search for the right self-defense class, and I needed to take it multiple times. I can give you more info if you'd like.

Waking The Tiger, is a great book. It helped me a lot.

 

[Ghostybear73]

@change, I go to the gym every night for 2 hours, coach my 7 year olds soccer team during the spring and the fall and got my son through his black belt. (Thankfully I've been hit enough times in my past that sparring with a black belt didn't hurt). All of these are very physical, but I'm willing to try just about anything, so yes, if you can give me more information, I'd love it!!!!!