Slightly Retarded

[Rani G2]

Hey all,

i am worrying about something and now I feel i wont be capable to live a somewhat "normal" ( Whatever normal means) life. I tend to do things ( Not having Schizophrenia, Psychosis) That dont make sense at all. These are small acts, nothing life threatening or harmful. Just very illogical. I forget things, tend to become mentally dull, slow and I forget things.
I fear I having an cognitive weakness.

I do believe that I am not completely retarded, but some things I do dont make sense at all. Usually these acts happen while beging under stress, emotionally impaired or when triggering happens.

Can anyone understand this?

What do you do to improve your cognitive abilities? Or becoming balanced...


Shankara

 

[Kintsugi]

I am forgetful, sometimes very sluggish, and I certainly do illogical things. Some of the things I know I have trouble with could be harmful, like forgetting I'm boiling a pot of water or leaving the oven on for hours before noticing. I burn a lot of food, even though I'm a damn good cook. I once pulled up to a trash can instead of an ordering speaker while trying to order fast food (and from then on, one of my friends would say, "Simon, that's a trash can," every time I pulled into a fast food drive-thru :hilarious:).

I am, in the sense that I'd argue we all are, neurologically impaired. But I tend to think of this impairment as being on par with other minor disturbances, like dyslexia and ADHD.

People have told me many times throughout my life that I'm the most brilliant ditz they've ever met. Most people associate the word "intelligent" with me, even though I once tried to order food from a trash can. ;) I've brewed an urn of tea upside down. I've failed to notice a giant hole in the wall at work that was outlined with neon tape. The list goes on. But I wouldn't call it "retardation," even if the word were in vogue.

I work with people who have severe/profound developmental delays/stunting/etc., and I can tell you, every one of my co-workers does stuff sometimes that makes us laugh and say that one day we too will live in such a home. But I don't see it as a major problem, just a set of challenges requiring creative solutions (like setting timers constantly while cooking). Most people don't even notice if they haven't spent lots of time with me, and those who do notice but don't know I have PTSD tend to just think I can be quirky.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Many years ago I thought that I was retarded as well. I was emotionally stunted and no one was able to understand me. i no longer label me in this way so rest assured you are perfectly normal for what you have survived. And you are no means all alone here.

Welcome to the real world of MyPTSD forum where you fit in perfectly as people here will understand and get you and share with you. Rest assured you are okay.

 

[Rani G2]

Hey Simply Simon,

i had to laugh while reading your post! Thanks...

I burn a lot of food, even though I'm a damn good cook. I once pulled up to a trash can instead of an ordering speaker while trying to order fast food (and from then on, one of my friends would say, "Simon, that's a trash can," every time I pulled into a fast food drive-thru :hilarious:).

similar things happen to me too, thats why I tend to control and keep my apartment clean and tidy, this is an compensation to control my thoughts, anxiety.

@Simply Simon: Do you meditate, do Yoga or something? Or have you just truly accepted that these
types of thinking mechanisms are coming with PTSD ? Or human characteristics that come with our life experiences (In our case traumatic, but still everyone with their own biography) without over pathologising.

Quirky is a good word by the way.

Thanks

shankara

 

[Rani G2]

Hey Gizmo,

its good to read that you have overcome this massive labeling program we have in our mind when it comes to intelligence, being smart or clever...there are loads of definitions out there.

My biggest problem is this: Yesterday I was suppose to send cards to friends and family. About 25 invitation cards. Before I began to do that I was emotionally shattered in a way and I thought to myself. “Just do it, just get finished quickly. What happend was, things got messed up. I even tried to paste paper on paper with water?????What? In that very moment I thought it works. That was just so embarassing, shameful. My mind said....see thats a sign for your inability to think.

Thanks gizmo.

 

[Kintsugi]

I don't really meditate, and I very rarely engage in more than one yoga pose. I'm not really sure how those are related to this issue, though? Do you mean to ask if I have an activity in which I am able to clear my mind and center myself?

I've shown some symptoms of PTSD since early childhood, and I was diagnosable around puberty. I think by the time I was fifteen, I had met every single symptom for the disorder. I don't know your history, but maybe this is new to you, whereas it's simply always been somewhere in my identity, so I've just adjusted for it and accepted it as part of what I am.

 

[Rani G2]

Do you mean to ask if I have an activity in which I am able to clear my mind and center myself?

Yes.

Its good to read, like I said to Gizmo, that you guys have accepted it, without putting too much focus on that.

 

[Naoru]

I have definitely felt as you've described from time to time, sometimes more often than not... but I think you explained it all right here:

Usually these acts happen while beging under stress, emotionally impaired or when triggering happens.

I don't think you have much to worry about. :) Maybe try to do grounding activities, quick meditations, and whatnot if you can catch yourself when something triggering or stressful happens and avoid decision-making until you've returned to normal? The hard part is recognizing the stress or mood before I do something "retarded." Although, I think every person is guilty of being ditzy or mentally dull during periods of their lives, especially during times of high stress... it's just harder on us PTSDers, especially depending on our backgrounds and trauma. Maybe dissociation could even account for some of these times?

But anyway, I also like to do brain game type activities to help myself and keep my mind busy...makes me feel like I'm doing something about it. ;) Ya know, to keep me from ordering food at a trash can @Simply Simon LOL :roflmao: I rely on my iCal like it's a Bible because I'm so forgetful, and I'm constantly asking people to repeat themselves so I can give my brain a little extra time to catch up. The other day I rode the elevator up and down 4 levels twice before realizing I hadn't pressed the number to my therapist's office. :ninja: I genuinely wondered why I hadn't gotten there yet. :whistling: Let's not talk about how many times I've sprayed myself in the eyes with my waterpik. Turn it on after you put it in your mouth! :banghead: #1 college grad right here. :O_o:

Okay, this got a little long-winded, but in all seriousness, if you feel this is having a negative impact on your life, you should go to the doctor to rule out any other health condition that may not be related to PTSD. Some vitamin deficiencies can cause mental delays, along with so many other possibilities. :) Wouldn't hurt to have it checked out, but I wouldn't beat yourself up about it.

 

[Nessa7]

I definitely want to second the suggestion of going to a doctor to rule out a vitamin deficiency. It can feel very similar to the fog and cognitive problems that come with mental illness. I still get mixed up between the sink, the garbage, and the fridge when cleaning up after a meal, but I end up throwing away a lot less silverware when I am taking the right vitamin supplements.

I keep a bullet journal, so I have everything I need to know in a book that I carry everywhere with me. I have daily checklists so that I don't forget things I need to do or medications that I need to take. It is also good for those days that I realize that I can't remember anything that I did.

I am not good at meditating, but I have had good luck with yoga. It does give me a little boost. Any kind of simple pose that involves elevating my legs against a wall is really effective for me.