So Depressed I Can't Get Out Of Bed.

[Deleted member 18673]

I usually sleep around 16 hrs a day. I feel so exhausted all the time, mentally, emotionally, and physically. It takes everything in me to get out of bed and face another day and sometimes it takes me hours to do it. I wake up after an entire night of nightmares about my past and I don't even want to live. I can't imagine anything in life that I want to get up for. And I keep sleeping. I try so hard to get up, I set numerous alarms, I try to talk myself into getting up... but I usually don't get out of bed until the afternoon or even evening. If I do manage to make myself get up early, a few hours later I'll be so depressed I'll crawl back into bed. I'm on Celexa, but it's not helping as much as I'd hoped, maybe I haven't been on it long enough (2-3 months). I feel so ashamed and lazy for not getting out of bed at a reasonable time and accomplishing things throughout the day. How do I break this horrible cycle?

 

[xena21]

I understand where you're coming from. I'm right there with you, and I wish I could give you some first hand account of how I broke free, but I'm still struggling myself. I can offer what people have told me to do.

I've been told to do the exact opposite...to get up even though every fiber of my being wants to stay in bed. I've been told to stay busy and distract myself so my thoughts are on more positive things than the thoughts of the past. I have been told to try medication and therapy...DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy), and CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy). I have also been advised to try to stay busy in other ways like volunteering and getting a job, etc.

So those are some of the things that I have tried myself...actually I've done all those. I'm sorry to say right now that I'm still figuring it out too. Those things are what I was told to do though, and could be helpful for you.

Believe me I know the dreaded feeling of the hopelessness the day brings with it. When you first wake up and realize your choice is to stay in bed and try and forget the world of misery around you by the unconsciousness of sleep (if no nightmares), or to face the reality of life. The choice usually is sleep. I get it. I wish I had an easy solution for you, but I don't. I'm still searching myself.

Do you see anyone, a therapist besides a Dr? The medication might need to be adjusted too. I'm sure there are a lot more people on here that have other good suggestions. I wish you the best.

 

[safenow]

Hi conquer,

The only thing I can suggest is to volunteer at a children's hospital, or an old folks home. Even if it is only one day a week, it can make a big difference in your life.

I also recommend you get a pet. One that needs to be taken outside to poop, etc.

 

[Deleted member 18673]

I just moved to a new city so I don't have a new therapist yet but will hopefully be getting one soon. I'll find out tomorrow if I got the job I applied for. I'm afraid I won't be able to hold it down because of my depression/anxiety... but I have to try. I have some self-help workbooks on depression and anxiety and whatnot... if I can even work up the motivation to crack them open. I want to fight this depression but I don't have the energy to do it. I should be going for a walk outside every day just to get out of the house but I can't make myself do that either.

 

[SweetPeaandSunBird]

I wish I had an easy solution for you, but I don't. I'm still searching myself.

Hi Conquer,
I like xena21 am trying to figure this problem out, too. I've been trying to minimize how many times I call in sick.

Can you program a tv alarm to a favorite show or to a favorite radio station? That's helped me some. I even changed the position of my bed so that the morning sun coming in from a eastern facing window shines on my face.

I'm lucky in some ways because my dog and four cats insist that I eventually get up.

Being on your meds for 2-3 months seems like sufficient time (rather than 2-3 weeks) to know whether or not they need to be adjusted. Perhaps, it is time to talk with your doctor about that. I need to do the same.

I have allergies, which sometimes make my wherewithall to get up harder, so I've started to take steps to minimize my allergies as best as possible. I also try to make certain I have something nice awaiting me when I do get up: a pastrie with coffee, etc.

Sometimes these measures don't work, but sometimes they do.

I feel for you having such a tough time of it right now. Best to you for better days.

 

[Deleted member 18673]

I can't afford a pet and we're not allowed them in our apartment. :(

 

[Deleted member 18673]

Waking up to good music might help for sure. I'll give that a try. And maybe I'll put my bed within arm's reach of the computer so I can look up inspirational videos or anything that will help me get in a better frame of mind or help me wake up.

 

[SweetPeaandSunBird]

I hope you get the job; perhaps, that will help you more than you might think, especially if you find it worthwhile. Moving to a new city makes things even harder, I'm sure. Is there some place in the new city that intrigues you, or places, perhaps, to such a degree that you could "make a date with yourself" to check them out? Maybe a differnet park each week, a different cafe, or whatnot?

 

[GreenFrog2]

I have made a tape recording, in my own voice, of affirmations. It includes statements on how I will sleep and how I will feel in the morning.

I did this initially to listen to when I go to bed, but have also started playing it when I wake up. It is beside my bed, and in the mornings I play it - it might take me over an hour to be able to move and turn it on, but eventually I manage. I also have meditation recordings.

I usually wake up with very high levels of anxiety, and fear, about how I will get through the day ahead, and I am finding that playing the meditations and affirmation recording helps me a bit. I might still be a mess, but I manage to get up and go to work when I need to :)

It is still hard to cope but the sound of my own voice helps to get me moving and the meditations help me to relax a little. Once I am going through my morning routine I tend to settle a bit more and have managed to keep going so far.

I agree with the comments made by others about how it is important to have "stuff" to do - it can hurt and be hard to get up and act, but the alternative is nothingness, I think? It might be seductive to think that we don't have to do anything, but it is also a bigger hole to have to crawl out of......

 

[maddog]

Wow, there have been some really good, practical, doable suggestions here.

I'm sorry Conquer, I relate very much to your current struggle and to all the reasons why the things you"should" do so often aren't the things you "can" do.

I think SweetPea gives some exellent advice, and I also like the tape-recording of affirmations, in either your own voice or the voice of someone you trust and respect.

I know exercise can be hard, even though there is absolutely no doubt that if you can achieve it, its mood-lifting qualities are astounding. Sometimes a compromise is just to get some fresh air and sunshine, so if there's a balcony or outside area you can go and sit for a while, those natural qualities can be very calming, restorative and energy-enhancing - I have become a sun hog, and find much comfort in it. It might even give you the tiny nudge you need to go for a short walk, but if not, that's ok too.

My therapist encourages me to think about what gives my life purpose and meaning, not in the sense of grand achievement or markers of success, but the things that make you feel as though you are living true to your values. Maybe you like helping others. Maybe you like being creative. Maybe you like solving problems... whatever it is, spend some time thinking about it, and looking for even tiny ways in which you can pursue those values. It sounds a bit abstract, but it actually does help - when there is no hope, even a tiny bit will get you through.

And keep writing here... that's what I'm doing, because it helps, and it brings not only activity, but also human connection, accountability for still being here, creative stimulation, the potential for new ideas and things to think about, and a chance for you to be in a validating place with people who understand.

And go easy on yourself... often the hardest thing. Those who haven't battled depression will never know how dabilitating it is, or how lonely, but they will also never know the determination and courage that will pull you through it to the other side.

Maddog

 

[Springer80]

Hi Conquer.

I just wanted to say that rather than trying to whip yourself into shape too much, (I have in the pas been a crazy list and activities person) that whatever it is that has laid you so low is obviously proportionate to what your going through now.

The bit that hurts, whatever that feels like or consists of, make time to be nice to it. If it can't face the day, well see maybe if you might at least like to be washed and dressed and see if a little food would be okay? Take it easy. Give that bit of you time, like a physio would with a damaged leg.

Forcing yourself ahead of where you are so that you can mentally tick off apparent progress isn't actual progress. Of course it gets people off your back and you don't have to deal with the embarrassment of no moving forward as quickly as you like but it's not quite the same. Jumping through hoops does no help you.

Good luck...:) :hug:

Ps I got showered today at 8pm.:oops: :woot:

 

[Springer80]

Oh yeah, don't bully or hate the bit of you which is keeping you 'down' it takes loads of energy and just makes things slower and less effective. Try to make friends with it, come to mutual agreed terms, it's there for a reason. I'll shut up now! X