Welcome, Bob!
I don't mean to interrupt, but I wanted to welcome you!
I'm very concerned about your trauma issues, about your feelings about a possible foreshortened life, plus your withdrawal.
If you were forced into killing someone (which is horrendously traumatic to a good person), there are healthy ways of helping you cope with the distress and bring healing. It truly is ok to heal and come back to life, even after killing someone! You can find meaning and transform your life to bring greater good into the world.
This Introductions area is a good place to help us get to know you and welcome you.
To unburden yourself of specific intense traumas and memories, the Trauma Diaries section is perfect.
The Diaries section is available for only members to read (the general public or unregistered visitors to the site cannot read them). Members can then read your story, memories, feelings and bring you support, understanding, feedback and loving whacks if you're going down a self-destructive path.
Chit Chat is a nice section for relaxing, sharing light-hearted jokes, etc... for easing the pain, stress and lonliness of PTSD.
There is a Chat area, an articles area - where fantastic information is available about many aspects of PTSD, therapy, symptoms, coping skills, etc...
If you'd like your wife to understand more of what you are going through, there are wonderful resources here for carers and family members.
There is so much more, and I hope you will feel welcomed, wanted, supported.
Warmest greetings,
Deer
