So Upset, Had To Make The Hardest Decision Of My Life

[HelenB]

I am so sorry to hear this and feel for you so much and am sending you gentle hugs if they will help. I am so glad that you are able to see your therapist tomorrow and hope you are able to find ways to look after yourself and be kind to yourself during this time, as I know you must be finding it so hard.

God bless
Helen

 

[ghotiff]

I'm so sorry @mytai . You did the right thing, and I understand how hard that decision is to make.

 

[mytai]

that I'm a bit worried about you. Is there anything you wish from us, within the bounds of possibility, that we could provide you with?

Honestly the only thing I could possibly wish for is to have my little man back. I raised him from 4 weeks of age, he was only 5.5 years old and had zero health issues. He was a one of a kind cat, he acted more like a dog than a cat sometimes. Reality still hasn't really set in yet, I've been questioning whether or not this really happened or if it was a nightmare.

So much has happened in such a short period of time I don't know what to do. My cat was my pet that provided me with the most comfort. He knew when I was having a rough time and he would curl up on my chest, or in the crook of my neck when I was in bed and just purr. My dog doesn't provide as much comfort, and I've only had her for a few months, not that I don't love her, but my cat I've had for a long time.

He was so young, and it was a horrible way to die. I feel so guilty, I don't know how long the dogs were attacking him, I keep picturing him backed into a corner terrified. I wasn't there to save him because I was at work. I don't know exactly how long he was lying in pain before I got home.

 

[scout86]

So sorry for your loss, @mytai!

I'm glad you were able to be there for him, at the end, so he didn't have to be alone and afraid, and that you were able to make the hard choice that was in his best interest. You also gave him a good home and a good life, for his entire lifetime. Lots of animals don't get that. Sometimes I think a broken heart is the price we pay for having the darn things in our lives. I guess it's worth it, but it sure does hurt when we lose them!

It's got to be especially hard , because he WAS young and healthy. And because there was nothing you could have done to prevent it. It's pretty hard to control things that happen in this world anyway, but things that happen when you're not around there's really nothing you can do.

 

[TimeToHeal]

Oh @mytai, I am so very, very sorry. I had to put down my beloved cat that I had had for more than 12 years, just a couple of years ago. I too, was completely heartbroken. Like you did, I stayed with him, and held him until the very end. He was a one of a kind cat - just like you said about your dear cat, he always knew when I needed him and provided me with the purest, most wonderful comfort.

I share all of this to say, I truly understand and empathize with your pain. And I am so very sorry. You can vent and cry here all you want.

:hug:

 

[xena21]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I have a cat and a 15 year old dog that isn't doing great right now. I am always checking my dog and seeing if she is still breathing and ok. I can't imagine the pain, but I feel for you. I know its what life brings to all of us, but it is so hard. Please let us just tell you we know it's an imaginably difficult loss. We will be thinking of you.

 

[mytai]

I feel like a horrible human being for feeling this way. But my heart hurts so much, and feels so empty without my cuddle buddy. I contacted the rescue that associates with my vet (many volunteers from the rescue know me), and I'm looking at adopting a male kitten. They contacted me moments ago with a kitten that sounds like he has such a similar personality to my little dude I just lost. I feel like adopting this runt would help me to put out the love I had for Tai into another needy animal. No cat could ever replace Tai, but I'm looking to find something healthy to make it hurt a little less.

 

[TimeToHeal]

I'm not seeing how any of that would/should make you a horrible human being! I think if you feel ready, that adopting a homeless kitten would be a wonderful and healing thing - for both of you.

I say go for it! :hug: to you....

 

[NovemberStar]

Oh @mytai my heart breaks for you :cry::cry::cry:

don't feel guilty or bad about wanting to have the kitty - it sounds like you and he are exactly what each other needs right now, for similar reasons.

Your beloved pussycat would want you to feel love and be loved by another fur baby - think of the kitten appearing as a parting gift form your beloved pussycat.

Sometimes the world works in mysterious ways and this is a case of it working for good :hug:

 

[Milo's papa]

@mytai
Mytai, I feel your pain. I had to put down my "best friend" six months ago because she was so ill. I still am not over it, but it has gotten easier.
Hang in there, and go get another "best friend"