Solitary Life

[Friday]

I'm about to do a face plant... Have a few things to share I just cannot brain at the moment... But here're some thoughts on the subject from the past :) On my life & others. I might should just wait till tomorrow, but... Well. Tomorrow's are always iffy. So in the meantime here's a couple things that might help your planning things out.

Human Connection Freaks Me Out

Dang. There was another couple / better posts I was thinking of about alternate lifestyles (leaving "normal" living for the birds, and designing lives away from the world, because that's just was works best for either now or in the long term ), & taking time away from the world without nec. leaving the world // aka it's not a solitary life, it's a solitary right now whilst working toward a different non-solitary lifestyle later... that I just can't keyword at the moment. Also apologies for the no-inner-monologue & babbling on thing at the moment. >.<

Question, though... I certainly don't think solitude is crazy or stupid, especially not if planned... But since you asked people not to reply with those responses; is that something you're struggling with at the moment? Thinking that solitude -to whatever degree- is crazy or stupid?

 

[ladee]

Planned! That's my keyword! I made conscious choices. To me there is a big difference in solitude and isolation.
I still battle anxiety when I go out, butt thru exposure it isn't ruling my choice to go out.
Like @Ragdoll Circus , it's a deliberate Hello . And I'm sure my job helped with exposure. I had to talk with people. I became a good actress before it became more natural and spontaneous.
But I love the quite and no pressure of solitude. And the hard worked on freedom of having a choice.

 

[VioletButterfly]

I seem to be in this kind of quandary between wanting connection and then being afraid of it at the same time. I know some people that I share daily stuff with once in a while, then I'm afraid of what I've shared. I feel silly, afraid, and scared - but mostly alone. I want to connect, just don't know how to anymore. I'm trying to get a coffee group together of ladies I used to work with, but we keep it superficial really. Then, I don't want to do it. No deep connections like when I was in college. Sorry, I think this is a bit all over the place, but I can't quite pin down where I'm at right now. I don't want to be alone, but I don't know if I could handle having someone there again - definitely not a relationship. Woeeee, I'd need a crew of therapists to get me ready for that one. But, maybe a friend to do things with might be nice. I'm just not sure I could handle a lot of that. Maybe the word I'm looking for is tangential. That's kind of what I have now with the ladies I know. It's not quite enough, but more might be too much. I hope that makes sense. I hope you find some peace and answers for yourself. VB