General Some Advice Needed Please

[forafriend]

Recently I met someone on-line and he openly told me about his PTSD. I personally suffer from a bi-polar disorder. I have read a lot of the pages upon pages of text and still find myself going in circles trying to find an answer. Can two broken pieces become a whole? Or is the reality of PTSD to the suffers too much for someone else who is also suffering so greatly. My own issues make me attached… but time, I’ve been told, is what’s best in dealing with this situation. Any advice?

 

[SammyKline]

hi forafriend,

generally speaking my advice for you is to tread lightly.

i personally feel that in relationships anything is possible, but, the road may be bumpy and a lot of delicacy, understanding and work may be required. it's hard to me more specific when i do not know much about the two of you your backgrounds and personalities.

in my own case so far my SO and I are beating the odds and staying together, but it's frequently tough. Her situation with PTSD is far more severe and debilitating than mine. In a sense it brings us closer together and in another sense the unpredictability and some of the situations she gets in make it difficult. i am however very committed to her and willing to deal with whatever there is to deal with because I love her so much, and support her, even in the awful times.

sk

 

[Shoka]

To Thine Own Self Be True

Dear Forafriend,

I've met people online before and am very wary about those types of meetings. My personal experience in dating someone with PTSD is that it can be very draining.

Lately, I've questioned my relationship a lot because I am finding it hard to take care of my emotional issues and also be the supportive "carer" that I think my BF needs. My honest experience is that being in a relationship with someone with PTSD is quite a bit of work. Two years ago if I were doing this, I would have found myself in a deep depression just trying to balance my needs and his needs. For the time being, I'm going to hang in there because I feel like I can handle it emotionally, I have my stuff in order for the most part. I frequently allow myself to reassess this however because I believe my number one responsibility in life is to take care of my own stuff. If any relationship causes me to be unable to take care of myself, ultimately then I have to leave it.

There have been many relationships that I just didn't get involved in because as things progressed I was able to take a self inventory and see that it was not a balanced or healthy situation for me to continue on in. These have always been very difficult decisions to make.

Best of luck to you, the only thing I can share is "To Thine Own Self Be True" meaning take care of yourself and the bi-polar first. All relationships add stress into our lives, even if it's only "good" stress. When the balance tips too far into the negative, then it's time to re-assess. Go slow.

Good luck
Shoka

 

[MyLove]

I think it depends on the people. Anything is possible if you're both willing to work at the relationship. When my bf is having a tough time with his ptsd, he can't handle *any* of my problems. I can't say anything that he may take negatively even if I'm not stressing about it. It just overwhelms him and makes it worse. He also withdraws when he's stressed. In the beginning, he would try to push me out of his life, but now he lets me know that he needs to be alone.