Something has been wrong with you for a long time.

[FauxLiz]

Thank you everyone for the support. It has been a tough day but I was really busy at work so that helped me not to dwell on this. My relationship with my father is strained and virtually non-existent. There was a lot in that of context in that statement. I have always been the outcast in my family. Of 6 kids I was the only one that couldn't work in the family business due to life threatening allergies. That and the fact that I look like neither of my parents led to insecent teasing by my siblings that I was adopted, the mailman's daughter, switched at birth just about any way to tell me I wasn't really part of the family and they teased me in front of both parents which never attempted to stop them. Nothing I ever did growing up was right and this and many other reasons are why my family of origin contributed to significant aspects of my childhood trauma. So hearing my dad tell me that something has been wrong with me for a long time what I heard was can't you do anything right? Why are you such a screwup? It may not be what he meant but he heard specialized treatment center and what he really heard was she is going to rehab which is crazy as he sees me maybe once every 12 months if I am lucky so why he would think that I don't know.

 

[Gamereign555]

Thank you everyone for the support. It has been a tough day but I was really busy at work so that help...

Yes I’m sorry about your upbringing and I can relate to much of it maybe. My mother lied to my stepdad and told him I was his child but he knew I wasn’t. He excluded me whatever he could since the age of four. He was very emotionally abusive to me and condescending. He would go on trips with them but not me. Camping with them but not me. Dinner at the table with them but not me. I found myself in my room alone in my own thoughts. I was not good enough for him and he let me know it.

To this day I have trouble feeling worthy. I have had to work hard on that. The ramifications of it are: allowing others to help me, taking what I deserve, and just overall self-esteem stuff. I had many relationship issues and communication issues had to be resolved. I shouldn’t go into other traumas at this time as there probably isn’t enough room on one page.