I was recently isolated from my ex-boyfriend (explained in previous posts) for about a month now. Saturday I found a two week old kitten abandoned outside my apartment. I have been feeding it formula, and it was thriving. Sunday, however, I got really worried about it. It stopped moving and I panicked. Not knowing what else to do, I ran him over to my ex's house (He's a nurse/paramedic). He acted like nothing happened. I, of course, didn't bring it up. I even asked if he would check on him this weekend, to make sure he's progressing. He said sure, and he even texts me back when I have questions. Is this normal for someone with PTSD, who has isolated someone else, to act like nothing happened? I'm relieved, but still confused. Thanks!
-
We are a multilingual website again. Read the notice about this.
-
Understand AI use at MyPTSD: all AI use is explained in our AI help page. AI use is by choice here. It exists if you want it, but does nothing unless you choose to use it.
Somewhat Resolved
- Post starter Yunie
- Start date
- Status
In my limited experience, yes. When he chooses to disappear for awhile and then reappears, there's no mention of it from his end. However, if he doesn't hear from me for a period of time he deems inappropriate (5 hours, a day, or any length of time that annoys him), I get a text "Oh, she lives." It's a confusing world. :confused:
- Post starter
- #3
It IS a confusing world! I'm starting to think the reason he kept avoiding me is because he didn't really ever have a good reason (I know since his PTSD it was a good reason for him) for cutting me out. So he was afraid I'd bring it up. That's just what I gathered, I really don't have a clue.
I think there's probably a fair bit of embarrassment or shame/guilt involved as well. And yes, fear, that if you brought it up, it would lead to a whole long conversation about why, what's going on, etc etc, that's just way too uncomfortable for him.
I have a feeling (this is me guessing, as I'm still in the "getting-to-know", "first 3 months of a relationship with my guy" phase) that he knows when he does stuff that upsets me, hurts me, etc (like isolating, being snippy or rude, etc). He'll feel bad about it later, secretly hope that I won't abandon him or cut him off or whatever, feel grateful when I'm still talking to him, and not want to bring it up hoping that it can be forgotten. Again, a lot of this is assumption on my part and picking up some things in reading hundreds of thousands of posts here in the past couple weeks trying to figure out what the heck is going on in his brain. :bookworm:
N has this *awesome* thing that he does where he doesn't answer questions, or sometimes even acknowledge that a question came out of my mouth, or sometimes gets upset at questions that, to me, seem pretty fair (how was your day, what are you doing tomorrow night, what do you want for dinner, etc). So questions like "why were you avoiding me for 4 weeks?".... Haha. I laugh when I imagine how he would respond to that one. Fun times, right?? :roflmao:
I have a feeling (this is me guessing, as I'm still in the "getting-to-know", "first 3 months of a relationship with my guy" phase) that he knows when he does stuff that upsets me, hurts me, etc (like isolating, being snippy or rude, etc). He'll feel bad about it later, secretly hope that I won't abandon him or cut him off or whatever, feel grateful when I'm still talking to him, and not want to bring it up hoping that it can be forgotten. Again, a lot of this is assumption on my part and picking up some things in reading hundreds of thousands of posts here in the past couple weeks trying to figure out what the heck is going on in his brain. :bookworm:
N has this *awesome* thing that he does where he doesn't answer questions, or sometimes even acknowledge that a question came out of my mouth, or sometimes gets upset at questions that, to me, seem pretty fair (how was your day, what are you doing tomorrow night, what do you want for dinner, etc). So questions like "why were you avoiding me for 4 weeks?".... Haha. I laugh when I imagine how he would respond to that one. Fun times, right?? :roflmao:
- Post starter
- #5
Omgosh! Yes! (btw we dated for a year. Lived together for about 7 months? We are technically still on a break? haha) to the question thing! I'll ask how his day is. He'll just shrug or say something super negative. Or I'll ask something stupid even like "what's your favorite color?" and his response will be "why does it matter?"
Also he'd give me dumb excuses to be aggravated with me. One time he told me I wasn't "selfish enough". Whaaat?!
Hahahaha.... Yup. His best response to the "how was your day?" question was "Are you seriously asking me that right now?" Uh, yeah. I seriously did. One time I was making him tacos at HIS request and then he got super pissy at me because I was doing it wrong. I said "if you wanted it done a certain way, why didn't you just do it yourself?" Reply: *SCOWLY FACE* He also gets really irritated when I wear hoodies or sweatshirts. Says it "makes me feel hot just looking at you." Huh??
- Post starter
- #7
Haha! It's like looking at my life. One time I (seriously) was making him tacos and he said "You cook like you're in a hurry. You need more patience" What does that even mean?!
My friend (someone I was sort of seeing, but it never got that far...?) is the same way. I hadn't heard from him for over a week, very unusual. I didn't text after no response the first couple of days. Honestly, I was busy and forgot. A week later, I sent him something and he answered right away, very chatty. But for me, I get it. I do the exact same thing. I don't hold it against him, because I know I'm just as guilty. Ahh, the joys of mutual PTSD friendships LOL And if he ever told me I was cooking something "wrong" I'd probably laugh at him and hand him the spatula. Oh wait. He did and I have! ;)
@Yunie I know, right? I feel like we've been seeing the same person! :hilarious: He says the most outrageous things sometimes, and then sometimes literally the next moment, will out of the blue say "Thanks for dinner." And it doesn't sound like a lot, but I know it's big for him.
- Post starter
- #10
Ugh update:
He only texts me back when I question about the kitten's health. He doesn't do small talk yet. I logged on to Xbox and he re deleted me from his friend list again. It may be because I added myself when I was helping him through an area on the game, and he didn't like that. I didn't think it'd matter because I thought we were cool again, since I didn't bring up the problem.
It feels like I fell on the pavement and was laying there as the wounds slowly healed...Then someone picked me up and healed me almost completely, I was me again...Just as I was about to start walking they threw me back on the ground and reopened old wounds.:(
I just want to know that there's hope.:cry:
He only texts me back when I question about the kitten's health. He doesn't do small talk yet. I logged on to Xbox and he re deleted me from his friend list again. It may be because I added myself when I was helping him through an area on the game, and he didn't like that. I didn't think it'd matter because I thought we were cool again, since I didn't bring up the problem.
It feels like I fell on the pavement and was laying there as the wounds slowly healed...Then someone picked me up and healed me almost completely, I was me again...Just as I was about to start walking they threw me back on the ground and reopened old wounds.:(
I just want to know that there's hope.:cry:
Last edited:
Friday
Sponsor
- Post starter
- #12
That we can at least have some sort of civil relationship in the future. We were everything to each other for over a year, and for that to be all gone has left me in limbo.
- Status
Similar posts
Donation drives
Trending content
-
-
What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?
- goingonhope
Comments: 34K -
-
-
-
