Sorry....

[WildMermaid]

It is daily problem, not as much at home anymore, but I apologize for existing, taking up space, crossing in front of someone in my wheelchair, it's a terrible issue and one I'm made fun of for. Working on changing it though.

 

[Recovery4Me]

Hand raised: same here. However, after several therapist and many years, I discovered it is a "secret password" for many members of the scar clan. I recognize hearing or uttering an apology can lead to discovery of a kindred sojourner. I am glad to meet all of you in this neck of the woods. :hug::clown:

Those who abuse us further for being originally abused (while we are exhibiting the sign) are simply looking for an opportunity to exploit. It is no more our fault that narcs find us than if we wore certain clothes and had an attempted rape. So to the woman who yelled @Simply Simon 's Mom ...exactly where is that middle digit emoticon that our USA members so gallantly display during dissatisfaction? :meh: humph...

 

[Eleanor]

I once had my aunt tell me, "You should not apologize for the gift you've just given me before I've even opened it." So, yeah.:shifty: Me too.

I've tried to go cold turkey.:stop: Never apologize. It doesn't actually work very well, but it makes me a lot more aware of how often I am (and am not really) apologizing.

 

[jaccat]

I'm not sure that I do. I'll always own up and say sorry if I've done something wrong, no matter how small, but I don't say sorry for every little thing.

In my family it wasn't the done thing. Strength was not giving a damn, and there was no point in apologising to people who weren't listening, or indeed hadn't noticed you'd done anything wrong. And stubborn me always refused to apologise when I was blamed for something I hadn't done. When I was 18 I didn't even say hello or goodbye to people. Things like that I didn't get, the words seemed meaningless to me. 10 years working in retail has cured me of that.

I do, however, apologise to friends for giving them bad news, even when it's my bad news. I did this repeatedly with my friend concerning my dad. I apologised when I told her he was ill, I apologised again when he died. Every time she's told me off, severely. I have to say now I sometimes do it intentionally- her anger at me is easier to deal with than her being upset.

When I had a cold I was getting frequent coughing fits in my therapy session. I would apologise to my T each time, and every time she would say to me 'That's all right,' or something like it. Her acceptance and response really freaked me out. So not used to it.

 

[Dana1010]

I don't think this has been much of a thing for me. You'd think, given my abysmal self esteem, that I would always be saying sorry. I guess I'm too on edge around people; I feel a low simmering animosity as soon as we meet. It's like we're already enemies, so I just grit through the motions with my head down and speak as little as possible. Why ingratiate myself? They already hate me, so what's the point?

 

[ihateusernames]

I think 'Sorry' was like a neon sign on my forehead to them

WHOAH I'll bet you're right! I have such a bad "sorry" habit. It's gotten better in just the last few years, but there was a time when I would essentially apologize to other people for being an asshole to me. I don't even know how to make sense of that now.

Really all of it was an apology for existing. I'm sorry I'm here taking up space and not being somebody more useful and interesting. I really wish I could just cease to exist for you...

Good for you for stopping it!

 

[Friday]

Japanese was my first language, although I learned English concurrently. Sorry... Is one of the crossovers. I say it in English, where it would be correct to say in Japanese. (Aka, everywhere). But there are a zillion different versions of "sorry" in Japanese, and only 2.5 in English (I beg your pardon... While more meaningful ligusitically, usage-wise has lost all of its oomph).

I say "sorry" to replace all the polite forms, and "I apologize" when I'm actually contrite.

It most definitely is a neon sign some people look for. They get very confused when it's a linguistic oops, instead of a self esteem identifier!

 

[Sammyiam]

Sorry is one of my biggest problems to :(

 

[illusionist]

I used to say sorry all the time until I made myself stop and think.....only say it when I genuinely feel that I am sorry and that I know it's my fault for 'whatever'...but still do have to really think before I say it. To me, it was a habit developed as a kid to try to restrain the beatings, which were given for the smallest of reasons. I finally learned as an adult that I don't have to continually apologise for minor human mishaps.

 

[Ladyghosthunter]

Shimmerz, you're a goddess! Don't say you're sorry or I'm apologizing. Be yourself.....

They say that love means never to say you're sorry. I guess it's a true statement but for those (anything before but is....) of us who lived in the horrors of our A grade horror flicks, sorry is the only word we could say to defend ourselves from attacks both internal and external. We combusted ourselves with loathing and self hatred thinking that we were nothing but 'sorry' for even being here on this planet.

Sorry is no longer in our vocabulary. We here are not sorry....those who destroyed us are.

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

I apologize profusely all the time. And then, when someone calls me out on it, I apologize for apologizing.

 

[oasis2003]

:(:sorry:Yeah I apologise for apologising too !!!