General Soul Searching

[CCurry]

My bf is the one with ptsd and now that he's just started therapy (almost 3 months ago) he is so much worse. Thanks to Anthony for clarifying something for me, as a non-ptsd sufferer I was thinking that since he is SO much worse therapy must not be working:crazy: but Anthony told me that he should expect to be quite ill for awhile because his brain is being forced to face his fears which is exasperating his ptsd symptoms. Knowing that has helped me immensely....there is so much to learn about this disorder!

This past week, he's been taking these long walks or drives, he says he's doing a lot of soul searching. When your brain is forced to examine its fears is that a common thing for sufferers?

 

[ISupportHer]

CCurry,

I hear you and your frustration. Thank you for sharing what you have learned, that the work of therapy can, in fact, stir things up. It is not the same as going to the Doctor, getting a prescription and starting to feel better right away. I wish that WAS the case!

ISH

 

[amethist]

I understand your confusion over this, I was the same when my husband started therapy. But I now know that every time he hits a wall and refuses to go to therapy it is because he scared of getting worse not better.

I have now " I think " convinced him that even though he does get worse, he does actually come out of the other end better than he was before.

It may only be very slightly, but I can see it.

That along with the finally "Getting it" he is improving and working more towards a better life.

Amethist

 

[tryintobreathe]

Hi CC....I started therapy last fall in October and I think I am just starting to get better after getting worse. It is very difficult in the beginning. I know it was for me. It was so hard facing all of the things I spent most of my life trying to keep blocked out of my mind. The first 3 months were especially difficult, but I do believe there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Best of luck to you both!

Jen

 

[Grainne]

So far, for me, it's been the worst therapy sessions that have brought me the most healing in the end. The sessions that hit me the hardest, the ones that make me come up with a million reasons why I CAN'T go back...those are the ones that bring the truth crashing in around me and make me face what I have spent my entire life trying to avoid.

I do most of my 'processing' out of my theapists office...long drives are a favourite of mine too.

Grainne

 

[Nicolette]

If therapy is working well, you should get worse before getting better and the "worse" is processing or dealing with stuff which has been shoved away. I have suffered a lot of abuse and when I deal with it (which I keep thinking I have but sometimes there is still a bit more that you have hidden from yourself) it rips me apart. To me I agree with what Grainne has said so well above.....the only difference is I do the processing while walking as driving is usual work think time (unfortunately :rolleyes:).

 

[Deleted member 541]

I think the driving and walking might be a coping skill for him right now, and thank god it's a good one.....For me, when I was going through the intense therapy, not only would it bring up the crap to the forefront, but I was also (in my mind) trying to find ways to combat what I was being bombarded with in a healthy way, instead of what I normally did, which wasn't healthy. I had a ton of crap going on in my pea sized brain, and sifting through it was difficult....

I'm glad that he is still focused on therapy, that is such a good sign......

 

[CCurry]

Thanks guys (Grainne), that has helped me understand and the processing after therapy sessions makes a lot of sense which explains why he's been taking these long walks/drives lately.

SheCat- my biggest fear is that he abruptly says that he can't continue with therapy because he can't deal with it now, but that is beyond my control and for that reason I have to stop worrying about that.

 

[Deleted member 541]

C,

That is a huge possibility, that he might stop therapy, and you are right, you have no control over that......The only thing that you can do in that case, is set clear strong boundaries, on what you expect, and will not tolerate as far as his behavior is concerned...Encourage him to seek other ways to relieve stress, encourage him to talk about his feelings, be there for him, but always take care of yourself first. This is his issue to deal with, and even though it does affect you, and your relationship with him, it is still his issue, and he is the only one that can resolve it.....