@gizmo, I'm sorry they are in your daughter's life. This must make things very uncomfortable. Would you care to say how this came about, what they are doing, why they are in her life, how it is impacting on you, how it is affecting your relationship with your daughter? I don't want to pry, but this whole idea makes me feel edgy on your behalf.
-
We are a multilingual website again. Read the notice about this.
-
Understand AI use at MyPTSD: all AI use is explained in our AI help page. AI use is by choice here. It exists if you want it, but does nothing unless you choose to use it.
- Status
- Post starter
- #110
D
Deleted member 12723
Ten years ago, my daughter married the son of the couple who betrayed me. They had a child. Now she is allowing the mother to meet her places to visit with her granddaughter. She also allows her ex husband to visit the girls.
The mom was passing messages of denial about how bad it was. I asked my daughter to not pass me anymore messages.
How is it affecting me? It makes me feel sick to my stomach.
I am done with them and am not involved in any way.
I like being able to distance myself from them. It is pretty triggering. But my daughter keeps the kids away from the father. I am glad for that. Hope this answers your questions Pencil.
I hate it but my daughter is an adult and will have to learn her own lessons in life regarding these people.
She knows how I feel and she has been very protective of me.
The mom was passing messages of denial about how bad it was. I asked my daughter to not pass me anymore messages.
How is it affecting me? It makes me feel sick to my stomach.
I am done with them and am not involved in any way.
I like being able to distance myself from them. It is pretty triggering. But my daughter keeps the kids away from the father. I am glad for that. Hope this answers your questions Pencil.
I hate it but my daughter is an adult and will have to learn her own lessons in life regarding these people.
She knows how I feel and she has been very protective of me.
I think there's a HUGE difference between religion and faith. You can have faith in Jesus Christ as your savior without being in some cult or First Baptist Church or whatever Church you want to name. It's a personal connection not a group connection. That goes for all religions that call themselves religions. If you want a relationship with your God (Allah) as a Muslim it should be a personal one not derived from some group telling you you need to do it.
I relate to being brought up in a very strict religious household that was confusing to me. At first my family was Catholic. They were Irish and that was the way everyone taught their kids. After some turmoil in the family, my Mom flipped the switch and followed her sister's lead into the Evangelical ministry, and I learned about that faith. The thing was, I kept the same view of Jesu from both religions. Just in one religion, they expected that teach about being "born again" and the other teaches that God is an angry God. I was always confused. I was always guilty. Growing up I knew the way "I" felt, and that never wavered.
Once I got to be an adult I unfortunately never went to any Church. I was so guilty feeling about organized religion and where I sat with it that I abandoned all organized religion and just decided to have my private faith in God. Of course just writing this makes me feel extremely guilty (but that's my OCD). I hope you can see that it's a personal journey and not a group one to take when it comes to God. Nobody should be telling you what to believe.
Eleanor
Diamond Member
There are, in my opinion, far too many "nominal Christians" who talk the talk, but don't even come close to walking the walk. It does burn me when they make a big deal about being "good" and then... act like total a******es. Particularly when enjoined to do their good in secret and not let the left hand know what the right hand is doing.
What a difficult and mature balancing act you are doing Gizmo. You are an awesome mom. ((((((Gizmo))))))
On the funny/ironic side, I teach college and when I ask my ethics students to name the best Christian they can think of they often say.... Gandhi!
Needless to say they don't get the joke....
What a difficult and mature balancing act you are doing Gizmo. You are an awesome mom. ((((((Gizmo))))))
On the funny/ironic side, I teach college and when I ask my ethics students to name the best Christian they can think of they often say.... Gandhi!
Needless to say they don't get the joke....
- Post starter
- #114
D
Deleted member 12723
Thanks Eleanor for the hugs. And thank you for the encouragement. I am doing better than I was.
My daughter keeps on telling me that I had better live a really long time.
My secret is that I take a nap everyday.
Rolling with the punches and going with the flow.
I had no idea how large this problem is.
I loved your joke. Hugs to
My daughter keeps on telling me that I had better live a really long time.
My secret is that I take a nap everyday.
Rolling with the punches and going with the flow.
I had no idea how large this problem is.
I loved your joke. Hugs to
Eleanor
Diamond Member
True dat!
Wow, this strikes close to home.
Gizmo and others, I am so sorry for your experiences. :( It breaks my heart that spiritual abuse is so widespread.
When I was 9, my parents took me from my lovely normal grace-filled church into a cult where I was silenced, abused, shamed, and many other things. I was crushed into the ground: I describe it as they took my soul, raped it, put it through a meat grinder, added their own 'spices and ingredients,' then formed it into the image they wanted me to be, and then baked it into stone, a hard, cold soul, lost and alone...and then when I left, they took a hammer and smashed it to pieces. Now, I'm surrounded by the pieces of my soul, uncertain as to which parts are genuinely me, and which are parts they forced upon me.
I left the cult when I was 21. I've been disowned and separated from 11 family members for the past almost 5 years (I see them sometimes, and it's always awkward). I spent several years bouncing from church to church, but now I'm in an amazingly healthy church where the pastors will literally apologize from the pulpit, talk about the ways they hurt others and ask for forgiveness, and they even swear! (about the stuff that happened to me, in particular.) I'm very blessed, but I'm certainly not a typical Christian--I'm very into social justice.
When I was 3, I felt God's call on my life to full-time ministry. Though the cult taught that women weren't capable of making decisions and recognizing truth as well as men, I know I'm called to become a pastor. Next year I'm going to seminary, and it's my mission to reach out to those who've been wounded in the name of God. God loves us so much, and when Jesus was on earth, He pretty much ripped the Pharisees apart for how they treated the people under their care (see Matthew 23 for His harsh rebuke for what the religious leaders were doing to His people.)
One resource I *highly* *highly* would suggest is International Cultic Studies Association's weekend workshops. They have a workshop in Colorado for those who've joined cults, and then one in Connecticut for those who are second generation ex cult members (kids who were brought in by parents). They also have international conference every year. Most of the facilitators/researchers were in cults themselves at one point, so they truly understand it. And it's pretty darn affordable comparative to other resources.
Gizmo and others, I am so sorry for your experiences. :( It breaks my heart that spiritual abuse is so widespread.
When I was 9, my parents took me from my lovely normal grace-filled church into a cult where I was silenced, abused, shamed, and many other things. I was crushed into the ground: I describe it as they took my soul, raped it, put it through a meat grinder, added their own 'spices and ingredients,' then formed it into the image they wanted me to be, and then baked it into stone, a hard, cold soul, lost and alone...and then when I left, they took a hammer and smashed it to pieces. Now, I'm surrounded by the pieces of my soul, uncertain as to which parts are genuinely me, and which are parts they forced upon me.
I left the cult when I was 21. I've been disowned and separated from 11 family members for the past almost 5 years (I see them sometimes, and it's always awkward). I spent several years bouncing from church to church, but now I'm in an amazingly healthy church where the pastors will literally apologize from the pulpit, talk about the ways they hurt others and ask for forgiveness, and they even swear! (about the stuff that happened to me, in particular.) I'm very blessed, but I'm certainly not a typical Christian--I'm very into social justice.
When I was 3, I felt God's call on my life to full-time ministry. Though the cult taught that women weren't capable of making decisions and recognizing truth as well as men, I know I'm called to become a pastor. Next year I'm going to seminary, and it's my mission to reach out to those who've been wounded in the name of God. God loves us so much, and when Jesus was on earth, He pretty much ripped the Pharisees apart for how they treated the people under their care (see Matthew 23 for His harsh rebuke for what the religious leaders were doing to His people.)
One resource I *highly* *highly* would suggest is International Cultic Studies Association's weekend workshops. They have a workshop in Colorado for those who've joined cults, and then one in Connecticut for those who are second generation ex cult members (kids who were brought in by parents). They also have international conference every year. Most of the facilitators/researchers were in cults themselves at one point, so they truly understand it. And it's pretty darn affordable comparative to other resources.
Eleanor
Diamond Member
Wow, Noah, the existence of something like this gives me chills (in a good way.) The world is... truly... changing. Just wow.
Ladyghosthunter
Gold Member
My relative is Richard Henry Lee, brother to Harry Lighthorse Lee, first governor of Virginia. He was one of the signers of the Declaration of Independence. :D
Hey, what a legacy to be proud of!
Thank God for all those brave and persistent men (and their long-suffering womenfolk who supported them!). I was moved to tears when I read one of Jefferson's original drafts 'in the flesh'. It's still so alive and relevant today IMHO.
The word Christian, I afraid, is quite often incorrectly defined. A Christian is one who follows the teachings of Christ. The Bible states "by their works you shall know them"
When asked the most important of the commanents, Jesus replied "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind". The second most important being "Love your neighbor as yourself."
Jesus also stated that there would be many false teachers, and to be on your guard. As I have said in the past, many people claim to be what they are not in order to give themselves the authority to abuseothers. I believe if any of you were to examine the proclamations of your abusers in true Biblical context, you would find they do not line up with Christianity at all.
For example: The most often misquoted passage I hear is "Wives, obey your husbands". Rarely does the person finish the passage which reads "Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and laid down His life for her."
As a woman who is loved as Christ loved the church, I can tell you that obeying my husband is easy. Why? Because he is constantly putting my needs before his own and asking me for guidance and direction. More often than not, the final decision that made is the decision I wanted.
I confess, as a Christian and a pastor's wife, some of these comments were extremely hurtful to me. I underdtand, though, that many of you were badly hurt. I do ask, though, that not all of us be painted by the same brush. If I am hurt by a group of black man, I pray that I would not condemn every black man.
As a Christian, I believe if you read my diary, you would rarely find me to be condemning
But if you knew my husband and I, you could not help but to see the love of Jesus in us.
When asked the most important of the commanents, Jesus replied "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind". The second most important being "Love your neighbor as yourself."
Jesus also stated that there would be many false teachers, and to be on your guard. As I have said in the past, many people claim to be what they are not in order to give themselves the authority to abuseothers. I believe if any of you were to examine the proclamations of your abusers in true Biblical context, you would find they do not line up with Christianity at all.
For example: The most often misquoted passage I hear is "Wives, obey your husbands". Rarely does the person finish the passage which reads "Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and laid down His life for her."
As a woman who is loved as Christ loved the church, I can tell you that obeying my husband is easy. Why? Because he is constantly putting my needs before his own and asking me for guidance and direction. More often than not, the final decision that made is the decision I wanted.
I confess, as a Christian and a pastor's wife, some of these comments were extremely hurtful to me. I underdtand, though, that many of you were badly hurt. I do ask, though, that not all of us be painted by the same brush. If I am hurt by a group of black man, I pray that I would not condemn every black man.
As a Christian, I believe if you read my diary, you would rarely find me to be condemning
But if you knew my husband and I, you could not help but to see the love of Jesus in us.
- Status
Similar posts
Donation drives
Trending content
-
-
What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?
- goingonhope
Comments: 34K -
-
-
-
