Spiritual phenomena

[HealingMama]

I have experiences that I am curious if others share or can relate to. I think my history of trauma made me relate to the world in a different way where I am more soul/emotion oriented.

I am an empath for one thing. At times not knowing if the emotion I feel is mine or from someone near me. I remember once being at a school and having a sudden onset of emotional pain and fear that felt like it came from a student hiding in the bathroom. When I am grounded this is more manageable. I have heard that trauma survivors are more likely to be empaths because we don't always enjoy being fully in our bodies which lends itself to picking up on things in the environment.

Also though something maybe stranger. I have trouble with, er, I am not even sure what, related to my husband playing games on his phone. It is like I get slimed with these etheric programs connected to the purpose of the game, or archetypes, so that I can feel these sheets of energy weighing me down. I can describe in great detail which area of my body is affected and the sensation associated with it. It takes a lot of effort to erase or neutralize this stuff and the sensation of it can be distracting.

It has caused lots of arguments because he thinks it is in my head. I'm wondering if my trauma history just has me oriented differently so that I'm aware if phenomena that others aren't.

Note that I don't experience hallucinations or delusions or anything like that. But I'm nonetheless very sensitive to the energy of an environment or of a person. I can feel malicious intention or twisted motives under the mask of a person. I can feel if there has been conflict in a room just prior to entering.

Yoga helps a lot with the undesirables aspects of this but I haven't found anything to "protect me" from getting slimed by other people's entertainment. I know I'm not crazy. Sometimes I do project an internal state outside of me, though, and I don't always know when I'm doing that, but this phenomenon has happened a lot, and often I can feel the "sheets" linking into my chakras at different levels before I actually know he is on the phone. So that tells me something is going on.

Am I really just strange?

 

[Muted]

I have heard that trauma survivors are more likely to be empaths because we don't always enjoy being fully in our bodies which lends itself to picking up on things in the environment.

Ok, I know this is going to sound really crazy, but when I was reading your post I had the strongest sense of dejavu! I don't quite get that...

Anyway, I feel like I pick up on a lot, but have learned to keep it to myself for the most part. I think my husband thinks I'm crazy when I actually tell him what I'm picking up. Thank you for sharing this, because I rarely tell people because they don't get it. If your strange then I am too.

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

Am I really just strange?

Yes, you are strange. Beautifully so, in my opinion. I can relate. I'm super sensitive to so many things, also feel others energies, see amazing visuals when meditating, etc., etc. I'm also married to my polar opposite who looks at me with that, "Really?? Are you kidding me?" expression quite often. lol Bless his heart.

However those few moments later when I sometimes get to hear, "Wow. You were right. Woah."...it makes all those stink eyes worth it. lol I'm lucky that he doesn't do the cell phone/gaming scene, but he loves his tv, and I can't hang with for more than an hour at a time, on a good day. My body is sensitive around electronics, including my laptop. I can feel it in my hands and whole upper body area and have to take breaks often, especially if I'm typing lots of stuff. The marketing BS makes me feel like I need a shower.

It can drain the life out of me instantly, but on the other hand, I'm also quite often left in absolute awe of the beauty of the smallest things that most never seem to notice. Which is also viewed as being weird as hell by many. lol However, I find it magical as f*ck and hope I never lose touch with that part of me. It's tough trying to navigate what's viewed and passed off as normal nowadays, that's for sure.

I try to get in touch with earth, air, fire, and water each day, smudge with sage, take hot epsom salt baths, practice several breathing techniques, drink herbal infusions, use tinctures and flower essences, aromatherapy via my favorite essential oils, immerse myself in nature, play my frame drum or my Native American flute, visit a friend who offers Tibetan sound bowl healing with gongs and stuff, sun bathe, eat a whole food plant-based vegan diet, no longer have artificial scents, flavors, colors, etc. in or around my body as much as possible, and limit my exposure to harshness in all forms as much as humanly possible.

It takes a whole tool box full of stuff and an entire village of healers to keep me feeling somewhat sane and healthy. Grateful for the seeds they've planted and for the ongoing shit from the others to fertilize them. lol Grateful to finally have some clarity about self that never felt present before. It sucks feeling like the canary in the coal mine getting repeatedly plucked, though, that's for sure. You're not alone.

.

 

[HealingMama]

Ok, I know this is going to sound really crazy, but when I was reading your post I had the strongest sense of dejavu! I don't quite get that...

Ha, deja vu is fun :)

I should probably say less than I do, but he can also very much tell when something has changed for me and it is easier to be honest. He is finally starting to believe maybe I am not making it up but it is so far out there from his own experience. I really understand why he struggles to believe me.

The experiences can be so difficult just on a sensory level though. Like I was in a fantastic place emotionally and mentally and now I feel clogged up and annoyed. Thanks for letting me know I am not alone.

Yes, you are strange. Beautifully so, in my opinion. I can relate....

Ditto to all of that. Epsom salt, salt generally is fantastic. Running water. I feel at ease around it. Like you I also can get caught up in the magic of the everyday in a very enjoyable way. I would enjoy being able to hang out with my husband when we stop fighting and not have to retreat or ask him to control his activities. I wish he and I could switch places for a couple of days so he would understand better. I'm trying to work on claiming my space, not letting the empath in me falter on my own spiritual balancing pursuits because he is close by and doesn't lean that way. It's a process!

 

[ladee]

No you are not alone... was relieved to see this thread... I have learned thru the years to shield .... but some days I just have to stay home or be in nature... and like @Tornadic Thoughts , I can find the tiniest little miracles in nature.... that is where i ground.. even if it's my own tiny yard at three in the morning..... I have been picking up such tension here on the forum.... overall, not just posters.... and it is wearing me out.... Even in winter I will see butterfly's... my totem... when my head is spinning... I will see a butterfly... I can pick up anger or violence across a huge store... I used to go looking for who i was feeling it from, not anymore... I leave... I can be driving down the road and feel 'danger', and change lanes and a fender bender will happen behind me.... My best friend is the same way.... we are both very sensitive to weather changes also... so I don't have to 'explain' things to her.. We can be somewhere together and just look at each other and know what is going on.... I tend to sense danger more than her...

I wish I had the advantages that @Tornadic Thoughts has, I don't think i have relaxed in my entire life.... I am tired....would love to do some of the things she does...

Am going to love reading others posts on this one.. I didn't put everything... as some of it I have to keep to myself, or share with my RL friend.... thanks for this thread....

 

[Deanna]

I really don't dwell on the empath theory since I'm medicated but did before I was ( but it wasn't empath, really.. I am highly sensitive to noise, period.. and every other thing that exists. .. the phone would be in the toilet. It would be so far in the garbage dump, or so far up his as*, and I don't care how expensive it is. I don't care about how many contacts are on it, or the facebook comments, or Facebook period. To me ( now) empath is a waste of time and time is something I don't waste today. I want to learn. ( like a sponge) He wouldn't play games in front of me. I just wouldn't have it.. so no husband. BUT ( I think I might have a husband in the distant future, that I know now, but we will have separate spaces because we both need a lot of alone time. Fine by me. I'll put an addition on the house but phone is a no-no. That's NO love-baby. He is like me. Doesn't like noise.

 

[HealingMama]

@Tornadic Thoughts I was reading your reply more closely again, as I was actually also working when I read it the first time. I love how you describe it as canary in the coal mine getting plucked. It is very much like that.

And this morning, oh my, but I feel like I got hit by a truck. Extra noise, extra sludge. I wonder if it is a result of trying to have a conversation like this via the Internet where there is so much extra drag, and ego, and heaviness in the system of communication.

@ladee
Yes I could also go on, give more details and examples. I remember one time a friend asking for a "reading" and I talked about her sexual abuse history that she had never told me about. I could hear it in there.

My husband thinks I enjoy feeling "special" and I enjoy paying attention to the heavy things. I think it's maybe a little of that but a lot of just overstimulation. My nervous system is fine tuned and easily fried without taking precautions.

At one time I had a little sanctuary space in my home for meditation, yoga, indigenous ceremony, shamanic journeying, chanting, etc. But I have a baby now that demands a lot of attention so my spiritual hygiene has gotten a bit behind. I can really feel the difference. Hopefully before too long I will get my groove back.

@Deanna's Gap
Thanks for sharing. Yes I can also be very sensitive to noise, need lots of alone time. I also have noticed if I am medicated my experience of these things is different but in my case it is like a dulling of the senses. A benzodiazapene or a tramadol or a glass of wine and it turns it all down. It offers a block for the signal system usually in place.

For me I think sensation is my stronger sense. But I do also think I am "hanging out" in strange places at times. I mean, after I talk to my "guru" all these spaces are cleared out and I have a buffer where I can just be in the world without these hassles.

I think that if I move into the heart, it will balance everything, but that means feeling more of the trauma so I resist.

P.S. I mentioned ego and I don't mean to suggest anyone responding here is doing so "from ego" just when I feel a backlash, resulting in the way I feel today, it is often from being in spaces that are not growth oriented, love oriented and although the internet has places like that as a whole it isn't like that. I was talking about the internet as a "container" or "structure" not any individual. Just wanted to clarify.

 

[FireSign8]

"Am I really just strange?". NO!
People who live on a different wavelength don't seem to understand.
It's like AM/FM stations. No two are alike & some of us seem to get every station every minute of the day & night!
I cannot shake hands for the simple reason I get a "read" on the person I touch. It rattles me to my core, so I avoid human touch as I just don't want to have more stress in my daily life. I get the news in my sleep & when I turn on the tv, it's amazing how much of it I have already seen & heard! I suspect I pick up microwaves with information in it. I find it to be sort of fun & I no longer have to pay for cable!:roflmao:

 

[HealingMama]

@FireSign8

:joyful::p What a great sense of humor about it. You reminded me that I really struggle with thrift stores. I have to be careful how much I pick up, because of how much I pick up.

So glad to know I am not alone!