Starting To Get Depression Warning Signs

[Lady of Longbourn]

I feel like I am in a box. It is all around the edges, all around me, closing in. My chest gets tight just thinking about it.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I wonder if you can visualize yourself outside the box where there is more room. I am crossing my fingers for you. I am sorry you are going through a rough patch.

 

[amethist]

Ayesha, try visualizing your sat on top of the box, trapping all the bad feelings inside.

You will get through this, as you have in the past.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

That's what my T says: 'You have been through enough cycles [cycles in mood] to know that this is probably temporary.'

 

[amethist]

knowing your going to get past it is not always easy to remember when your in the middle of it all.

Having good coping skills is the way to go. I am sure you have built up lots of these over time.

 

[Deleted member 17954]

Many thanks to give Very useful information.

 

[Britt.f7]

I can feel myself starting to slip back into it. I'm starting not to want to wake up. I'm sure it doesn't help that I haven't seen a therapist since before Thanksgiving. Haven't seen my med doctor since way before Christmas. Definitely struggling.

I know it will go away, eventually. In the meantime it really stinks.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

I am sorry Britt.17.

When can you see your doctors again?

 

[Britt.f7]

My therapist is out on medical leave so I have to see a new therapist. Unfortunately she didn't have an opening until later in the month. I think the 21st is the date. I see my med doctor on the 11th.

I'm trying to hang in there. I have large windows in my living room that I try to keep open to let in any and all light. I'm also trying to exercise even if I am unable to do much. Though I have to say, it didn't help much, if at all, the last time I tried it. But I'm going to give it a try anyhow. Can't hurt.

I'm sorry you are having a difficult time too. Hopefully this won't last long for either of us.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Depression is still here but I don't feel afraid to get help which I think is a really good outlook.

I am talking more about trauma which I used to avoid. I sort of feel like something like this needs to happen in order for me to work through it.

 

[Britt.f7]

Depression is still here but I don't feel afraid to get help which I think is a really good outlook.

Doesn't it seem strange that we should be afraid to reach out? It does to me. I remember when I finally saw my GP(general practitioner), by this time I was crying all the time, and he asked me why I waited so long. I think part of me just thought I could get through it like I had a hundred times before. Unfortunately, I couldn't.

Ayesha, you are definitely taking a step in the right direction. I, for one, think that is awesome!

 

[Changing4Best]

The tears came just now, I guess that is good, because that means there is a release of emotion and me not holding it all in or anything. At first I was not aware of anything that would be causing it, but then I was listening to some music that one of my therapists had given me, the day she told me she was moving to the hospital to help breast cancer victims recover from their surgery. I was happy for her, but very sad for me. I would miss her so and I knew it.

Other days this music does not effect me in this way. I knew that it was her way of telling me she'd always remember me and that she loved me. She was the BEST therapist! And I do miss her, even though it is years since that day back in maybe 2005?

Since then I have had 3 Therapists. One that was great, but then I had to move. One that didn't believe in medicines (fast getaway from her!), and one I have now who is pretty good, but we just started out. Oh yes, there was one other one, but she moved to a new practice and we didn't work together for long.

Anyway, the grief and tears finally made me aware of the fact that I am sad for my niece. The same one that wants me in a nursing home or Assisted Living Facility, probably so she does not have to worry about me. The same one that has such widely different religious views than mine that I fear for her eternity. The same one that is often too busy to call me. The same one that is a control freak of the highest order, so much so that I feared after our last conversation that she would somehow try to force her hand and make me go into a home against my will. I have a healtcare proxy though, so this is only a remote possibility, one that other friends have also assured me they can and will protect me if need me, by becoming my legal guardian! They are guardians for many persons in helpless situations like me, so I will fear not, as the Bible instructs!

It is a rainy freezing day, one on which I had a mammogram sceduled, but transit is not travelling today and the roads are icy. Nothing like getting all ready for such a thing and having the rug pulled out from under one. Now I have to dread the upcoming one that was rescheduled for a week from today.

I'm feeling a bit better now, thanks for reading!