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Starting To Recognize What Thoughts Trigger My Anxiety

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Lauren

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I had a good day yesterday. Then came on here and did ok. When I worked on my Trauma Diary the anxiety returned. No surprise there.

Today my girlfriend and I took our horses to the beach. Had a great time. On the way home I started feeling anxious again. So did my friend. It was easy to understand her anxiety as she has some major stress in her life right now. Me.....other than working on this stuff....my life is stable. There is NOTHING happening currently that should cause the anxiety. I was reading the info on emotional flashbacks last night and it made perfect sense to me. It also explains why I have such a hard time figuring out what triggers it. Just before I started feeling anxious on the way home I was thinking about he fact that my T session is the day after tomorrow. I wasn't thinking about any particular event but I know that the thought of talking about them caused the fear to rise. No mental imagary, just emotion. I guess the key is to somehow latch onto what you were thinking just before the emotion rises up. So all the articles and my T says. Looks like they are right!

What I don't like about it is that I always have to be aware and looking. That is exhausting. Is working on this stuff supposed to be 24/7 like this? It makes it so diffcult for me to function much of the time. I'm my own boss and fortunately I can afford to not work when I just can't seem to. That being said is that the healthy and best thing to do? Just let the emotions wash over me whenever they come up?
 
I typically can't be on here before bed. Just not good for me right now. I am on tonight because I already had my trigger episode and can't sleep anyway! I make a rule to not read anything I have about PTSD or trauma help 2-3 hours before I want to sleep. I read some silly book that is safe with no violence and such... nothing depressing in it.

I too work for myself right now and can break unless the kids have me tied up. I think I tend to wanna work harder and keep busy some days. Other times I feel like closing down, curling up and disappearing. I should have called my T tonight and again, just couldn't! I popped some Valerian Root and hoping that helps take the edge off. So far... nope.

It IS good when we get new info and a clue to what triggers. Feels like a little more contorl...AFTER the fact of course, but very important. I just hate new triggers like tonight!
 
My experience has been that there are phases of 24/7 that are usually followed by a gradual reduction in symptoms and triggers, and then a noticeable reduction, and then a new wave of 24/7 onslaught. Hopefully, there is some finite amount of trauma material to process, which may help to limit the duration of the 24/7 episodes. I've also noticed that when I analyze triggers methodically, and in writing, their impact subsides more quickly than if I try resolve it all mentally and keep it juggling around in my brain. Rereading insights also helps me to "fossilize" some of the learning I've done via trauma processing, which also reduces trigger reactions as I convince my brain that I really have coped with/resolved some of these issues.
 
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