• We are a multilingual website again. Read the notice about this.
  • Understand AI use at MyPTSD: all AI use is explained in our AI help page. AI use is by choice here. It exists if you want it, but does nothing unless you choose to use it.

Supporter Stepmom To Two Teenagers With (c)ptsd

Status
Not open for further replies.

Stepmom

New Here
I'm glad I found this forum, I already found a lot of useful insight in PTSD that will help me in our everyday life.

Background:
I got married two years ago, and a couple of weeks later my husbands two boys moved in with us. The kids grew up with their mom who is diagnosed with schizophrenia. Due to sabotaging from their mom the boys only had sporadic contact with their father growing up. We knew they were having some issues when they moved in, but we had no idea how severe it was until we got to know them better.

The only thing we are sure of about their past is that the boys have been neglected. The have very few memories - at least memories they want to share. They both hear voices, disassociate, are anxious and totally disconnected from their physical body's and their emotions. They are now both on medication, and it seems to take the worst edge of their paranoia, anxiety attacks and the most negative voices. They both still feel suicidal in periods, but are now able to talk about it.

They are almost grown men, but both their emotional and their skill development is more like 5 year old's, and if they are not watched almost 24/7 they "collapse". If they are not told to do something (like shower and brush teeth) they wont.

Finding the right treatment has turned out to be a big problem on the insurance we have - but I finally at least found a therapist and psychiatrist I feel we can work with. Unfortunately they have no expertise in PTSD. The last therapist we had kept telling me to get a "reality check" - "sometimes there is nothing we can do, and we have just to make the best out of it" (!!!). I would love to try out CBT - specially Narrative exposure therapy (NET) to see if it could help.

Until we get them in the right treatment (whatever that might be) I need to figure out how to deal with their daily struggles myself. Which is why I'm so grateful to everyone here who share their feelings and stories, helping me understand what's going on when the kids are doing things I just don't get. Thank you everyone!

Love,
Stepmom
 
Hello Stepmom and welcome - like the others, I am incredibly impressed with your unconditional love and acceptance of your Stepsons. There are a few parents of Sufferers on the Forum - and there is also a fantastic Supporters section where you will be able to find them and share their experiences. I hope that you and your Husband find the support that you need as well as the boys as well x
 
Welcome, Stepmom.

I was neglected as a child and can relate to some things you wrote about the two boys. Thank you from my heart for getting help for the boys and for accepting them and caring for their wellbeing.

Wishing you the best in finding helpful treatment and good therapists/doctors.
 
Hi Stepmom - same as above, welcome to the forum! Just wanted to say, people heal and who knows how much better your boys can get. Good for you getting help (good help) for them! Don't be afraid to share what you've learned and this site with the T's you are working with - no one starts out an expert in PTSD. If they don't take it seriously, and don't educate themselves then you will need to find someone who will educate themselves and work with you.

It is a long and difficult road, and it is much much easier to travel it with friends. I wouldn't be making it without them.
 
Hi Stepmom

Come down to the supporters section, where you will be made very welcome and will find loads of useful information to help you while you help your step-sons.

Amethist
 
Thank you everyone for your kind words.

I was lucky enough to grow up with a fantastic mom who even though she was helping everyone around us, still had time for me and my siblings. I always had troubled neighbour kids, runaways and foster children around me, and not helping out was never an option. My stepsons are my family now - and I'm there for them, no matter how much they are struggling, or sometimes even fighting it. It's hard for them experiencing a "stranger" caring more for them than their own mother.

When I read how little understanding a lot of you get from your families it makes me cry. My boys have a huge family on their fathers side, but unfortunately that's not much help, they seem to feel so much guilt about not understanding - or not helping them - that they rather still live in denial. "He was weird already as a kid", "pft, he is just acting like a teenager" and so on. I think it was easier for me coming from the outside, seeing the kids in a new light, to understand what was going on.
 
Hi Stepmom,

Welcome to the PTSD Forum! :)

I too am very impressed by the assistance and support you are providing your stepsons. So many times family members just leave people to struggle, so it is always heart warming to see someone really learning and putting the effort forth.

I hope you find the information and support on this site helpful as your family works on healing.

Take care.

Debbie
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Donation drives

2026 Donation Goal

Goal
$1,800.00
Earned
$910.00
This donation drive ends in
0 hours, 0 minutes, 0 seconds
  50.6%

Trending content

Featured content

Back
Top Bottom