Hi I am new at this and I really don't feel comfortable talking to others. I was abused when I was about 5 til I was 12 by a violent controlling person. I am about 40 now and I am having a lot of flashbacks and trouble sleeping. I am working with a therapist now but I am getting frustrated cause I am not seeing progress. I don't seem to be able to get control of the flashbacks. I really don't understand why all these years it is haunting me now. I really need to get control of the flashbacks. Does anyone have a suggestion on getting control of these so I can get back to my life?
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- Post starter Me123
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leanne1321
Gold Member
Hi Me123,
Welcome to the forum.
I'm not the best person to comment on how to handle flashbacks because I can't handle mine at the moment, but from what I've heard, grounding techniques are the best way to deal. Try focusing on your breath, naming objects around you etc.
Hope that helps
Leanne
Welcome to the forum.
I'm not the best person to comment on how to handle flashbacks because I can't handle mine at the moment, but from what I've heard, grounding techniques are the best way to deal. Try focusing on your breath, naming objects around you etc.
Hope that helps
Leanne
Hi Me123,
Glad you found us, though it's sad you have a reason to be in our community. Well done on writing you introduction, it shows that you are agitated now, so please take your time, there's no hurry here.
How long have you been in therapy for? You don't see progress now or you never did?
Sorry for the 21 questions, feel free not to answer. I hope this forum helps relief some of the stress you are under right now..
Glad you found us, though it's sad you have a reason to be in our community. Well done on writing you introduction, it shows that you are agitated now, so please take your time, there's no hurry here.
How long have you been in therapy for? You don't see progress now or you never did?
Sorry for the 21 questions, feel free not to answer. I hope this forum helps relief some of the stress you are under right now..
Lucycat
Sponsor
Hi and welcome ME!
I was abused from age 7 -14 so can relate entirely to what you say. I never realised I had CPTSD until I was 45. It has been a really hard time since then, but it is getting better. I am now 47, have had 18 months of therapy and can see the improvement. It is hard work. I do not understand what is happening to me, but it is certainly getting better.
Believe me, you are not alone with this
Best Wishes
Lucy x
I was abused from age 7 -14 so can relate entirely to what you say. I never realised I had CPTSD until I was 45. It has been a really hard time since then, but it is getting better. I am now 47, have had 18 months of therapy and can see the improvement. It is hard work. I do not understand what is happening to me, but it is certainly getting better.
Believe me, you are not alone with this
Best Wishes
Lucy x
Hi ME! And Welcome to the forum,
Love your username! When I try to give advice, I'll always think of what I'd want to say to ME. :D Just a little humor... very little.
I had flashbacks that came at me like waves on the shoreline. As soon as I came to grips with one, it receded and was followed immediately by another one. One after another, and it wore me out, it strained my relationships, but that's all over now. I don't have any new flashbacks anymore. It's like I got to the end of it, and now I know. All the really painful ones, I kept trying to hold in like when you have the flu and you don't want to vomit. But, it only made it hurt worse... and it found a way out anyway. I found it easier to turn around and face it.
That didn't seem easier at first, because there was so much pain, shame, anger, fear, paranoia... etc that went along with those flashbacks. But, one day I had one that trumped them all, and I wished I had died, wished I'd never been born, wished I didn't have a reason to live through it. And, after that, every other memory that came... I was like, "Well, if I have to live with that one... then I can surely live with this one too." Bring it on.
Seems like, for me, once I understood it all and all the memories came back, and I forgave myself for most of my mistakes, I forgave a LOT of people for their mistakes, and I placed blame where it belongs... now I have flashbacks that I recognize and I've dealt with. I just put them back in their file drawer in my mind, or I hold them out and examine them further; but I'm not afraid of them anymore. It's over.
You can get there. You can do this. This is your life that you're remembering. These experiences are part of you, and even though I hate it sometimes, I know that it's important to know that I still make decisions based on those experiences. It's best to be aware of that, so you can re-evaluate the decisions you're making based on those experiences.
I hope that this helps. I can't make the flashbacks go away... but maybe provide a little hope and willingness to see them? You didn't choose those bad experiences, you didn't have power to stop them or prevent them, and you can't change them now... but the person you are now needs to be aware of that part of you that is still holding on to those memories. Purge them, look at them in the light, and get REALLY PISSED OFF. But, forgive yourself for everything, place the blame where it belongs and learn from any mistakes you find. It will give you peace... at least it's helped me.
Here's hoping I didn't overwhelm you, while trying to shine a light through the tunnel.
Love your username! When I try to give advice, I'll always think of what I'd want to say to ME. :D Just a little humor... very little.
I had flashbacks that came at me like waves on the shoreline. As soon as I came to grips with one, it receded and was followed immediately by another one. One after another, and it wore me out, it strained my relationships, but that's all over now. I don't have any new flashbacks anymore. It's like I got to the end of it, and now I know. All the really painful ones, I kept trying to hold in like when you have the flu and you don't want to vomit. But, it only made it hurt worse... and it found a way out anyway. I found it easier to turn around and face it.
That didn't seem easier at first, because there was so much pain, shame, anger, fear, paranoia... etc that went along with those flashbacks. But, one day I had one that trumped them all, and I wished I had died, wished I'd never been born, wished I didn't have a reason to live through it. And, after that, every other memory that came... I was like, "Well, if I have to live with that one... then I can surely live with this one too." Bring it on.
Seems like, for me, once I understood it all and all the memories came back, and I forgave myself for most of my mistakes, I forgave a LOT of people for their mistakes, and I placed blame where it belongs... now I have flashbacks that I recognize and I've dealt with. I just put them back in their file drawer in my mind, or I hold them out and examine them further; but I'm not afraid of them anymore. It's over.
You can get there. You can do this. This is your life that you're remembering. These experiences are part of you, and even though I hate it sometimes, I know that it's important to know that I still make decisions based on those experiences. It's best to be aware of that, so you can re-evaluate the decisions you're making based on those experiences.
I hope that this helps. I can't make the flashbacks go away... but maybe provide a little hope and willingness to see them? You didn't choose those bad experiences, you didn't have power to stop them or prevent them, and you can't change them now... but the person you are now needs to be aware of that part of you that is still holding on to those memories. Purge them, look at them in the light, and get REALLY PISSED OFF. But, forgive yourself for everything, place the blame where it belongs and learn from any mistakes you find. It will give you peace... at least it's helped me.
Here's hoping I didn't overwhelm you, while trying to shine a light through the tunnel.
cherryblossom
VIP Member
Welcome to the forum Me123 :wave:
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