Stop Remembering

[Wolvescry]

Idk. I keep replaying it, I want it to stop, I don't know where to turn. There not many people who can handle what I am. So tired. I want to blurt the memories out and get some human connection through them but I don't want people to see me for who I am. There is so much shame. IDK if that makes sense.

At the moment I feel so confused, I have multlple trauma. in fact a huge chunk of my life involves trauma. I am in safe situation now.

What is haunting me is my past abusive relationship. I dont even know why? Why now? its january its not excatly a trigger time, unless it subconscience. Maybe I ran into a trigger without realizing, Maybe its all the social situations I have been dealing with.

Either way the memory that is haunting me specificly is an argument that, You know what, I cant even type it, how can I commincate with others if I can't. IDK What do I do

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

In my mind and this is just me...to 'stop remembering' is not helpful. You must work through them to heal and move forward. Just IMHO.

Good step in starting your dairy. Congratulations. :tup:

 

[JadedGhost13]

Congrats on starting a diary!

I too struggle to get what is bothering me, out there. Look at it like this... You know you need to release it, and no one here knows you personally, we actually all share a common bond.... but we do not know who you are, you are protected behind your computer and we do not know where you live, so its not like we are a threat to you.... like gossiping behind your back... see what I'm saying?

Now if you do not feel comfortable laying it out there its is 100% ok here. Trust me... I am really trying myself and can only release a little at a time..

*hugs*

 

[SeanCharles]

Wow! Just reading this thread lead me to do post to my trauma diary... (I started to post about my second trauma) which I just connected another dot in this game of connect the dots I am playing... (or feel like I am playing) After all I did join this forum in search of answers and of course a place to explore without judgement. I believe I may have started scratching the surface or discovering a layer I hadn't found or something. I feel like I am making no sense... maybe I should head to bed...

 

[EvenStrongerNow]

It makes perfect sense. (((@sadgirls278 ))) (((@Geordie )))

 

[Wolvescry]

Thank you everyone for your feedback.

 

[Marf]

I understand your fears completely. I hope you have a therapist that you trust. I have found the haunting memories do not stop until I talk about it and work through it. Good luck.

 

[EFPA]

I can relate and empathize in the sense that your triggers and depression doesn't always seem to make sense, have a rhyme or reason, or even a pattern. It may all come together in the end, it may make sense in hind sight, or it may never make sense.

I am trying to learn to trust that it is your subconscious mind and soul trying to tell you something and I instead of asking it why it is trying to talk to me i must listen and let it communicate the way that it needs to, whenever and however often it needs to.

It is difficult because it can be scary, painful, and traumatic to allow that communication to take place.

 

[SeanCharles]

Thank you to everyone also for your feedback. I am glad that my previous post makes sense. I feel like I am finding answers like Fox Mulder in the X-Files... :)