Strange Energy Experience

[watundah]

OK, this is probably going to sound really weird, but here goes. We've seen it all anyway, eh?

A couple of years ago my T did with me what she called a Centering exercise. We stood face to face and did a guided meditation for a few minutes, then she told me to look at her. Well, for one thing, my eye contact in therapy sucks, so this was a big deal all on its own. When I did look at her, I felt a wave of energy come from her heart, up out of her mouth, saw it cross the room, then it entered my mouth and went down my throat and then I dissociated. Not just spaced out, I was gone. I don't know how long, but this is the only time I have experienced checking out like that. After I came back, I was overwhelmed by sadness and highly activated for the next several days.

I asked her then how she channeled her energy like that, and her response was, "like what"? Now, I don't know if it was me picking up her energy or if she sent it over to me as I experienced it, but I have never felt anything like that, either...I never did go into the details of how I felt about it or what happened. My problem - opening up, sharing, etc.

This week, we were discussing dissociation and numbing, etc, and I told her that I thought I was getting better. Then she said that she wanted to do the Centering exercise again. Well, it wasn't until I went to bed last night that I realized, Oh, it's *that* exercise. Eek. I sent her an email telling her that it scares me and it might help me to have more information. IF it is an energy exercise, I must say it feels like I was intruded upon and may be having trust issues that she didn't explain to me in advance what to expect. IF it is me, well hells bells, where did that come from???

I will look forward to discussing this with her in more detail but I am wondering if anyone has had such a crazy, wacked out experience w the energy force thing? I am an HSP but not necessarily one who tromps around in the ethereal, psychic or whatever you want to call it world...

 

[Hope4Now]

I've had lots of very bizarre energetic experiences. Some with people who are aware of their use of energy, and some who are not. It IS important that you talk with your therapist about your experience, even though you think it sounds really weird. Her responses will tell you something about her awareness of her own use of energy. This stuff is actually real, but most people are not aware of or tuned into it. It can be especially difficult/challenging if you are a person whose physical and/or spiritual boundaries are fuzzy (mine are). It may have been a bit too much for you at the time...the first time I had an energy experience similar, I had a complete out of body experience. I don't talk about this stuff much here, because most people find it very "woo woo." Feel free to PM me if you'd like.

 

[seedling]

Since having PTSD I've had (stronger) energy experiences, too. At first I thought it was the other person "doing it" to me but now I'm not so sure. As I get to know myself better I'm understanding what I'm doing as well.

I think that part of why I have PTSD is due to blocking off this part of myself when I was very young (critisized for it - "it's not OK to be me"). Then, during my adult trauma, there were multiple energetic experiences that the blocked part of me couldn't handle. Now those experiences have come out in my memories of the event and I'm starting to understand.

I want to get in touch with this part of myself but also find that energetic experiences can trigger me. I also minimize or unconsciously ignore this side of myself.

Yeah, it sounds weird but once it's happened to you.......

 

[watundah]

Wow. I feel.so much better. Someone told me it was me but my T is a very strong person in the spiritual sense and none of my other experiences were as intense or overwhelming. We have discussed energy in more general terms.

I am feeling the same as you. I think perhaps I was more intuitive or sensitive til it was.repressed long ago.

 

[shandemonium]

This stuff is actually real, but most people are not aware of or tuned into it. It can be especially difficult/challenging if you are a person whose physical and/or spiritual boundaries are fuzzy (mine ar

I couldn't have said it better!

I was very lucky and had almost a hollywood type story about this.
Long story short I was 24, living in a trailer parked around a city where I got robbed and assaulted, ready to give up and secretly planning my suicide.

Then a man who was a psychic medium decided to help me and had tremendous gifts with shifting energy and that "stuff". He helped me for almost two years then died very suddenly of a brain aneurism.

Perhaps your therapist meant well, but learned this exercise from school or youtube or something, and does not have the intuition necessary to apply it correctly. Maybe you can try and contact a person who does energy healing work since you are clearly aware of how another person's energy can affect you. It's just a thought; you should only do what you are comfortable with.

I have a good therapist right now and realize that although she can't help in the so-called 'supernatural' way (for lack of better word right now) her gifts are different and she has her role in my healing too. Perhaps yours is the same even is she meant well with the "centering" exercise.

I had a complete out of body experience. I don't talk about this stuff much here, because most people find it very "woo woo." Feel free to PM me if you'd like.

Same here... but then again, I think I have mentioned my medium healer before. Please feel free to include me in any "woo-woo" discussions :cool:

 

[shimmerz]

Same applies here. I would appreciate more woo woo myself. The stories I could tell (and would love to hear).....:eek: :eek::eek:
Energy work takes a bit to get used to and even then, it isn't up everyone's alley. I would be a bit creeped out having that type of energy being thrown around with a T that had no idea it happened though. Energy healing is best done with someone who can lead the session!

 

[Biz]

I would've freaked out too, Watundah. I get energy/body work, and I've been going for over 6 months to the same woman. It's intense (in part because it's surprisingly intimate and I don't negotiate that level of contact well). A couple of weeks ago she told me it's time I start talking about my experience while she's working with me (I thought I was because I'd been answering her check in questions).

Now that I've been sharing my side of the experience it's been really uniting/positive/cool/less lonely. I hope you're able to try it a bit, and if your t is that powerful in her energy, she's probably sensing an energy exchange too, at least in the moment with or without visuals and she may not remember or verbalize it afterward. Like yesterday, I got so dizzy during my session and when I told her we did some guided grounding meditation, and at the end she explained that she could feel the dizziness too, at a high level and was glad I'd said something about it being mine.

 

[seedling]

I had Reiki last week for the first time since my trauma. Afterwards she asked me if I wanted to know what she was aware of while she worked and I said yes. All her input was wonderful to hear and really informative. She said I was cut off from my intuition, I've been aware of this block but have more concrete info on it now. I'm wondering which of two (named, early childhood) parts of me is my intuition. I've been working on their pain for some time.

She also said that when she was working on my head - my crown chakra - she could tell I had a lot going on in my head (always!). At the time she was working there I had a series of images from my trauma go through my head - not emotionally disturbing. She said she worked a lot on grounding me, felt like that's what I needed, and she was right.

She also worked above my body first to work on my aura. That felt really good. Sometimes, after having EMDR, I feel like a thin layer of shell around me is breaking and shattering and flying away. Like layers of darkness that have been in place for so long, releasing.

I'm going again for Reiki next week, I'm thinking about letting her know what's going on during the treatment. I'm also seeing a new acupuncturist. My last acupuncturist just moved away so I am feeling out new people to replace him. It feels good, but also scary, to find this part of me again.

 

[watundah]

Thanks for your comments. It is quite helpful.
I think my T has lots of woo woo knowledge and power but neither of us knew of my sensitivity. That's my guess. I wrote her that I was scared and needed more info to try again. It IS a level of intimacy like none I've experienced which may be why I dissociated. I was hit by a tsunami. We will be discussing this! I know there is this energy plane which I've tapped into as a hit and run participant over the years.

 

[shimmerz]

She said I was cut off from my intuition

I would be really interested in this statement @seedling. Did she explain how you were cut off from it?

 

[seedling]

No, she didn't. Actually, when she was doing the Reiki on me, I had a vivid scene with one of my parts (her name is Voiceless), she has been in a lot of pain lately. I could see her and talk to her in the session and I felt more connected to her afterwards than before - it felt like a part of the pain had been healed. She is colored blue, and that is how she came to me at first in the session - my mind was flooded with blue.
I am cut off from these parts of myself, I think (as much as I've been able to figure out so far, by having them dismissed as a young child. It wasn't important or desirable to be that way. Practical performance was much "better."

I saw her again this week and she asked me about feeling disconnected. She is also a DBT Counselor, so she understands what trauma does. Made me a little paranoid, I know I've been disconnected but it is so much better than it was a few years ago. I also gives me hope, if I'm still disconnected when I feel so much better, how much better might I be when more of it is gone?

I'm thinking of communicating more in the session what I'm seeing. Maybe it will give us both more of a clue to what is going on.