I had a meeting with my t and my directors on Wednesday , that was a complete joke! Some of the questions they were asking my t were just ludricous to say the least! I did try to explain to them that from the mid 90s I went through my traumas day in day out for 7 years and was officially diagnosed with cptsd in 2001, that I'd worked extremely hard in my life to get to where I am today, not just through my career but as a mother , wife, daughter, sister nd other relationships , that sumtimes even getting out of bed has been a struggle , how I've tried to keep myself upbeat when really I feel like crap inside , and how it makes me feel when I disassociate and have flashbacks , how I've been successfully running the business fir years , keeping myself healthy, whilst everyday constantly battling my emotions. I was looking for a Well done , Or, you must be very proud urself and how well u done in your treatment and managed to focus in your job and how hard it must have been for you!!!!! All I got was , With all due respect we have a business to run!
It really disheartened me, when I got in I ended up drinking then crying loads, felt like a failure and felt so angry and resentful. Didn't sleep last night and to top it up ended up having flashbacks , felt totally depressed today but still forced myself to go to work and carry on. It's days like this I feel like saying to my directors wat the f...k, u have no idea about cptsd so just go to hell!!!! My t was brilliant tho and she told them I was r brave and how traumatic my emdr has been, I suppose that's all that matters.sorry guys I've prob just waffled on but feel better now I've got it of my chest. Thanks for listening x
