Stress On Top Of Stress

[Notsowild]

My stress level is so high right now with all that going on with my daughter. Can't get her to go get help for her anxiety/ undiagnosed disorder. She doesn't want us living together. She's moving into a small basement suite with her three girls. She can't say anything nice to me. I've been blamed for everything that's wrong in her life. So I'm moving out on Friday - that's another stressor. And I'll be worrying about the girls the whole time.

My psychiatrist wants me to go on stress leave again. I told her I couldn't afford it. I would get 60% of my normal earnings. I fell behind on my bills and maxed my credit card last time I was on EI. I'm not sleeping well with all this stress. Of course work has been hard to concentrate on. So far no major mistakes, just trying to keep going. How do you deal with so much stress in your life? Any suggestions?

 

[Friday]

How do you deal with so much stress in your life?

By completely freaking out or shutting down!

Wait. You meant helpful suggestions? Well... I have 2 main classifications of stress in my life: Those I can do something about, and those I can't. It's the ones I can't do anything about that are the hardest hitting, hands down. Other people are different, it's the ones they can do something about (and the added stress from then things needing doing) that are the hardest for them.

When I'm on my A game, I take care of the least problematic first. (This may not be the best idea, it's just what works for me). The reasoning goes like this: I have a giant big bad scary thing? Awesome! All the rest just became easier to sort!!! So for myself the way to get rid of most of the stress in my life / lower the cup level is to sort out all the piddly bits, first. I can actually both look & be super productive when I have a BB&S thing on my plate.

When I try and tackle the big stuff first? I get overwhelmed & shut down.

Say my "easy" stuff = 20%
"Hard" stuff = 80%

If I get rid of 20%, I'm that much more relaxed.
If I go after the 80%? Then I've still got 100% to deal with

One of my good friends does the opposite in every regard. Their easy stuff is stuff outside of their control. They list it out, and forget about it. Not really, but when it comes up, the consciously set it aside until there's something they can do about it. So then they tackle the stuff they can control, next, and go for their biggest stressor first. I've tried that, but for me, that just bumps a new stress into the top slot and it's as hard as the one before it. My pal, otoh, gets a lot of palatable relief from the biggest first, and everything else is easier after the hardest one.

So my suggestion would be to look at your own patterns. What's inside of your control and out? How do you react to both? Which gives you the most relief to deal with? How have you best eliminated stress from your life in the past?*

 

[Friday]

Oh. I also add in a bunch of down time and fun stuff for every stress I sort. Downtime ahead of time, and something fun, afterwards. Helps to manage the highs/lows/crashes. Otherwise I tend to have a lot of panic attacks. So terrifying 2 minute phone call I may book 4 hours for.

1-2 hours spent reading in jeep.
2 minute phonecall
2-3 hours snowboarding (or anything else physical that burns off all the anxiety chemicals)