Struggling with Hyper Arousal and Grief

[harley_quinn2419]

Hi am new here, my friend dated in august then I find out an online friend of mine died a year ago and I have only just been told. I woke up Sunday unable to take a full breath anxious and stressed out the shock of the second lot of news just took over. Now I’m hyper arousal mode had two hours sleep and wired and keep saying to myself I don’t want to deal with death anymore it has really brought an onset of symptoms I haven’t experienced for a while since going to therapy I have consistently lost people every year since 2016. How the hell do I deal I haven’t had bad PTSD symptoms till Sunday they had become a lot better since therapy. I’m also irritable grumpy and snappy which is not fair to the people around me I feel like I’m taking steps backwards right now and that upsets me.

 

[arfie]

hello harley. welcome to the forum. sorry for what brings you here but glad you are here.

gentle empathy on the hyper-arousal. it was one of the meaner symptoms which resulted from surviving child sex trafficking and, girl howdy, it's a tough lion to tame. for me, menopause brought the tremendous relief of losing the hormonal contribution to this symptom. i still struggle with the psychosomatic end of ^it^, but those hormones sure complicated the symptoms on an immensely primal level.

is it fortunate that i didn't have to deal with too much death during my most symptomatic years? at the risk of gossiping, several of my sibs-in-healing who were not so fortunate called sex, "the ultimate life-confirming act." in the grips of death and grief, their hyper-arousal sky-rocketed. but. . . enough gossip. those be their stories to tell.

in my strictly personal management of this symptom, channeling has been my most effective therapy tool. mindfully channeling the energy directly into sex was the most effective, but there are a plethora of other effective channels. i took up kickboxing when i didn't have a safe channel for the more direct channel.

but that is me and a bit of gossip. every case is unique. steadying support while you sort your own case.
welcome aboard. sort freely. sort often. you are not alone.

 

[Freddyt]

PTSD seeps in the cracks and crevices. it infiltrates quietly and you never notice until your symptoms go really active.

You need to know this stuff and learn to monitor it all the time......because if you don't......you are suddenly in trouble and don't know why......

The ptsd cup explanation

Nearly a decade ago (2006) I wrote The PTSD Cup Explanation, a simple view of how PTSD causes symptoms in day-to-day life. This article is an update to that original piece. Regardless of the type of trauma endured, the PTSD Cup does not change, deviate or apply differently to your circumstance...

www.myptsd.com

 

[Friday]

Stress Cup.

I deliberately avoid looking up most of the people I have known and loved in my life just because of how hard it is when I find out they’re dead. Which? Is most of them. And it really doesn’t matter if they died 5 minutes ago, or 5 years ago. The moment one learns of a death? Is “when” it happens (in most ways), the grief and pain raw and fresh. When, in addition, it was in the past? There’s often a lot of added guilt/shame/fury/frustration/magical thinking on board.

It is 100% normal for PTSD symptoms to spike in relation to stress. (It’s more of a warning sign that something is seriously wrong, when they don’t). You’re not doing anything wrong. It’s just how PTSD operates.