Stupid Waste Of Space

[Nighthawk]

This statment alone tells me that I am falling and falling hard I seem to be feeling destroyed and hopless. Really blue. Not sure what is driving this but I am trying really hard to no let it take over. All those horrible words in my head. Worthless piece of ....

 

[Kefira]

:hug:s If you'll have them Nighthawk. I just wanted to let you know you're in my thoughts. I hope you're able to be gentle with yourself, ground and self care, and that you feel better soon. I've had way too many of those nights myself. And it's even worse for me at least when I don't know where it came from.

You're among friends. Please take care of yourself- you are so precious even if it's hard to feel it right now.

 

[Hope4Now]

Hoping you can open your heart up to the part that's making you feel that way...that somehow it's doing it's best to protect you from some other kind of pain it thinks is worse than what it's making you feel. When I get like this it is so hard to not fight it and feel afraid of it, but to open up to it with curiosity about it, try to get to know it a little better. Maybe see what it's covering up for me. Compassion to you. It's such a hard place to be.

 

[J.L. Pitts]

Nighthawk is that your dog in the Picture? is he/she a service dog? Animals look at people so differently. They don't know human thoughts but they are very empathetic and know when a human is hurting. My dog is not a service dog he is an American Cocker Spaniel. But he knows when I need lovin's. What would your dog do without your kindness to him? Would he be safe with ASPCA or would he have to go to a shelter that puts them down. Your animal trusts you because YOU are a KIND TRUSTWORTHY person. Your dog needed a human and you loved enough to accept the dog! So you are also Loving. When bad thoughts hit your mind immediately say ON GUARD and with every sneaky thought that comes in meet it with a full blow of your sword of truth and thrust through that thought placing a new thought a positive thought. I do not know you but from how at ease your dog looks I think you are loving, kind, gentle, and trustworthy! If those are the only fpur things you can come up and fight those sneaky LYYNG words that try to fill your mind get ON GUARD and face those words with these three and if you stand up to those thoughts you can add strength and courage to battle sneaky LYING words. Don't believe them! counter their attack on you with every good deed you have ever done. THEY ARE LYING words SO don't accept them!

 

[Nighthawk]

On top of my own words my mother managed to throw fire into the hole. I am an idiot for allowing her access esspecially when vulnerable.

My dog is in the process of being trained to be my service dog. I adopted her from the shelter.
:cry::cry::cry:

 

[J.L. Pitts]

see you rescued your dog! fight those thoughts and keep every negative person out of your life just tell them you have enough negative thoughts you don't need theirs ao call them, write them,email them, text them but set a firm boundary!

 

[Tinyflame]

Hi @Nighthawk , do you know who's words those are? Those particular terms & others (for me) I know originated from someone (I can remember); sometimes by the 'terms' I can trace them back to who uses the term to remember that they often directed them at me before I directed them at myself. Sometimes though I don't know if it's something my own self just feels. :(

I can only say, don't say to yourself what you wouldn't say to your puppy. And she was a rescue, someone mistreated +/or abandoned her (& probably called her a lot as well)- & look how beautiful she is. She didn't ever deserve it, neither did you, & you don't deserve it now either.

Big hugs to you & remember it's all this stress/ anxiety. You can get through this. :hug: :hug: :hug:

(And yes, I think if at all possible it's very important to limit exposure to toxic people or those who degrade you.)

 

[Friday]

<chuckling> It's a special kind of f*cked up when I'm in that place... Cause I can hear all the lies, but know that they're lies, and then am even more pissed off at myself & feel lousy at feeling lousy!!! Greeeeeeeat. I'm being hit with the bat coming and going. First I feel bad, then I feel bad for feeling bad. Head. Meet drywall. :banghead:

Hang tough, Nighthawk. You're smarter & stronger than you know, right now. <grin> Which means, by definition, you can't argue about it. You might not feel tough, smart, & strong right now... But you are, & you'll know it later, if you think it's not true in this moment.

 

[Ellabella44]

Hoping you have come out of this and are better today. You are better than that tells you. You are worth way more than youre being told by this. Hope you gave Molly hugs yesterday and were able to tell it to shut up.

 

[RussH]

Night you are a valued member of this community, and more than that, you are a friend.

You are, in no way, a waste of space, but rather a person created to uniquely fill the space you occupy. You touch a lot of lives here and that is very valuable.

 

[Nighthawk]

<chuckling> Cause I can hear all the lies, but know that they're lies, and then am even more pissed off at myself & feel lousy at feeling lousy!!! Greeeeeeeat. I'm being hit with the bat coming and going. First I feel bad, then I feel bad for feeling bad. Head. Meet drywall. :banghead:

This is so me.

 

[Over the rainbow]

Sometimes when I'm angry I call myself horrible names, and saying things like "oh you stupid f#%*ing bit#%! Why can't you just die already?!"
And more things that he told me all the time, and then I get mad because he wins! His goal was to terrorize me, bring me down! And here I am saying the very words to myself that I dreaded hearing him say!
I'm not those things, and neither are you, it's just our brains that like to lie and keep us down.
I'm sorry I can't offer any great words of wisdom- only an ear, and to say- your not alone.