Poll Substance Abuse - Did Illegal Drugs Help You?

[lost girl]

I smoked pot of and on for years and it helped sometimes and made me paranoid sometimes.

I drank a lot until I decided I was going down a particularly dark path with it - making decisions I didn't morally agree with and taking risks I shouldn't have taken. The alcohol was quite a comfort though before I became anxious about possible alcoholism.

I did coke a few times and it was glorious. Not because it made me feel *good* which it really didn't but because it made me seriously not give a flying flip about other people's intentions or feelings. I felt a little arrogant and I guess the opposite of paranoid and that was a beautiful relief.

I did shrooms twice. The first time, I realized how much of my mind was full of these worries that I have and how if I weren't so nervous and worried about everything all the time, I'd have a lot more time to think and do other stuff. The second time was extremely bad as I got triggered while high by my abuser. But I was able to isolate myself and I spent I don't know how long just crying and crying and crying and really feeling the depth of the pain and sense of fear and betrayal and anger. It was a miserable, terrible experience and I should not have put myself in that position - high with my former abuser. I think it actually re-traumatized me and I regressed a lot for a number of months. But as horrible as it was and as much as I think it was a mistake, at the same time, it re-opened the wound entirely and I was allowed to acknowledge to myself what had happened and to some extent to grieve it. I'm still grieving it. Up until then, I spent more efforts on trying to minimize what had happened to me and trying to be *okay with* and *forgive.* So in a round-about way I think it was helpful.

I'm currently living a sober existence. I don't know that I'm committed to it forever, but it does appear to be what I'm doing right now. I have figured out that the times I get out-of-control panicky that popping a few benedryl will help me out a lot. I know that's not what they are intended for, but they bring me off the ledge when I'm in hyperdrive.

 

[Irton Pike]

i have voted yes for illegal for the reason that i have had a few very good experiences. One of which was this year on magic mushrooms. I took a very low dose and found i was able to relax for the first time in over a year. My wife said, "welcome home".


Anyway, aside from that, I have used other drugs in a very bad way. I smoked cannabis for years. I drank for years. i still do battle with the ciggies like!

The drinking does not help. The pot did a bit but i overdid it.

 

[tippycat]

I answer no because alcohol is legal. There was a period of time that I ABUSED alcohol to to easy the pain and to sleep. At the time it was the only comfort I could find. My alcohol use caused more problems. People in my condition should not drink!. Well I got the help I needed and stopped drinking. The pain is still there, but I dont have the problems I created when drinking.

 

[midi]

Yes. Bags of dope, with hash, opium, morphine... I cycled off and on for years. Almost OD'd a few times. Poly drug used like crazy. Of course, drank booze like water--it didn't count, in my mind, because I considered myself a drug addict, not an alcoholic. Boy, was I surprised when I learned I was both! Sometimes marijuana helped, but often, the other drugs just made it worse.

 

[Deleted member 1606]

Medical not Criminal

Richard Nixon's war on drugs has cost billions and done nothing. This should not be surprising since drug abuse is a medical problem, not a criminal one.

 

[skye]

I voted yes that illegal drugs did help me....but i wish i could of voted yes and no. At the time I really felt they did...and the way i was feeling at the time i think i would of committed suicide if i didnt do them. Now I don't do illegal drugs...just the ones prescribed...but I can see how doing them in the past helped, however made it much harder for me to piece things together now which i believe hinders my heeling.

Skye

 

[cragger65]

Pot helps me be clearer sometimes (I know that defies the conventional view) but it can also be a negative. Depends how you use it.

 

[Die Hard The Hunter]

I didn't vote on the poll.

I actually take drugs to remember things, not forget them. For some reason, after being on Zoloft and Adderall for about a month (with a prescription), certain things about myself, like why I do certain things that are weird, or why I feel certain feelings, suddenly made perfect sense. It was like I knew all these things but couldn't admit them to myself. When I'm not on Adderall, I can't even look at certain words without freaking out.

I guess I'm kind of an adrenaline junkie? Getting drunk tends to make things worse. I guess I like drugs that give me more control over myself, not less.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

The last time I smoked MJ I became suicidal...hence why it was the LAST time I smoked...never again...

 

[midi]

Some of it really does depend on your current state of mind. I have this friend who recently smoked a joint and started crying. Her life is miserable and so her drug experiences are going to be too. If you already suffer from mental illness, like paranoid episodes, try to stay away from pot - it may increase those symptoms.

 

[SunnyBrookFarm]

When I was a young teenager and seriously running from everything that caused my PTSD - I would do anything (pot, acid, coke, speed, drinking etc.) - Fortunately, I got control of that pretty quickly. However, I have never stopped smoking pot. I don't smoke alot - I do smoke daily (normally in the evenings - one time). It absolutely helps my anxiety and chronic pain. Unfortunately, I live in a state that may never legalize it for medical purposes so it is still an illegal drug.
I do have a habit (in the past) of increasing my drinking when I'm overly anxious and that is something I am currently working on - so far - so good. I realize that even if I drink a little - my symptoms are much worse the next day.

 

[TLight]

I take a little tiny hit of pot to distract me from life.....but if I take too much, my anxiety gets worse. Much worse.
I also never do it alone...........I do like to do it and go outside and take pictures of plants.....I find it increases my joy of doing this.