General Suffer New Friends

[Deleted member 33287]

I read your PM and I won't give out details here but given that the scope of the issue isn't just...

I do understand how unsafe she feels around me. It sucks that I have to change my time and schedule to accommodate her but thats what I have and will do to stay out of trouble than people need to respect that. Problem is no one understands what she or me is going through so the only enviorment that is safe for me is one that she isn't in.

 

[Ronin]

It sucks that I have to change my time and schedule to accommodate her

That's bollocks.

You have a desire to whiteknight her, she doesn't want you doing that, nor need doing that, she wants you away from her life for you're making her feel afraid, to the point of developing paranoid delusions considered reality on the basis of which she's calling for a restraining order against you to protect herself - and you still insist you 'have to' be in her life, and are doing all of that for her own good?

Shaking my head.
She hasn't asked you to do those actions.
She hasn't pressured you to do them, either.
It's all your choice.

Choose differently.
She's not exactly holding a gun to your head or an equivalent of that 'making' you be in contact with her.
In fact, she's wishing for you away.

Respect that wish.

 

[shimmerz]

It sucks that I have to change my time and schedule to accommodate her but thats what I have and will do to stay out of trouble than people need to respect that.

If she panic attacks with you around, that is her problem. She is in charge of her own triggers and should get used to you being in the same room. That being said, it is your responsibility to not approach her or communicate with her. If for some reason you are forced to be in her presence, don't talk to her about anything personal. She clearly doesn't want your opinion on what she should be doing. which is fair enough.

Live your life. Let her live hers. Without judgement.

 

[Deleted member 33287]

If she panic attacks with you around, that is her problem. She is in charge of her own triggers and sh...

I don't approach her that is the crazy thing that doesn't make sense.

 

[Ronin]

I do understand how unsafe she feels around me.

So do the other thing that's sensible to do with that understanding and give her some space.
As in 'get out of her life'.

 

[Deleted member 33287]

That's bollocks.

You have a desire to whiteknight her, she doesn't want you doing that, nor need doing th...

What exactly does wishing you away mean? I am asking because I need to figure that out.

 

[Ronin]

I don't approach her

You're posting a long noodle thread about how rejected you feel yadda yadda. It's frankly quite creepy.
You want support, yet you're acting all obsessed about a sick girl that's f*cking terrifed of those kinds of attentions.
It's not courteous thing to do at all.
Don't you dare call her paranoid nutso for protecting herself.

To the board of survivors, no less.

Just because you don't understand her actions, does not make them unreasonable.

Stalking & obsessiveness isn't support. Period.

 

[Deleted member 33287]

So do the other thing that's sensible to do with that understanding and give her some space.
As in 'get ou...

Makes sense. Looks like after may 6th I am never going back to gym again.

 

[Ronin]

What exactly does wishing you away mean?

She told you. By wanting a restraining order on you.
She doesn't want you in her physical proximity.
She doesn't want you contacting her, in any means, through any persons.
She doesn't want you interested in her life & watching that life.
She doesn't want you gathering any information about that life, at all.

Staying. Away. It's easy.

 

[Deleted member 33287]

You're posting a long noodle thread about how rejected you feel yadda yadda. It's frankly quite creepy.
Yo...

She told you. By wanting a restraining order on you.
She doesn't want you in her physical proximity.
She...

Thanks for telling me what I need to do. Thanks for calling me a terrible person also. The situation doesn't make sense so I had questions on ceartin aspects of it and what her state of thought is.

So why the hell did she come on to me when she was drunk after first space and say how much she misses me?

 

[shimmerz]

why the hell did she come on to me when she was drunk

Ahhhh! So this has an intimate element to it. That makes more sense now.

 

[Ronin]

Thanks for calling me a terrible person also.

Mind reading. I said your behavior & insisting on contact & 'fixing' a relationship like that as a priority, with intensity you are, is a bit tad much. That doesn't say you're a terrible person so please do not assume what isn't said.

what her state of thought is.

We are not her. We can't know that.

So why the hell did she come on to me when she was drunk

'When she was drunk' doesn't say enough to you?
Alcohol-induced states aren't reflective of one's best choices.
Nor should they be taken at face value, or something to be acted upon.